Who says light skin brothas are outta style? Hmm this isn't my first time here so if you wanna get to know a real person, then send a message, leave a comment, show some love.

I don't play games. I'm not into BS. If you have drama, keep it movin... I don't need you. But if you want to get to know someone new, real and definitely worth your time, reach me somehow.

Likes:

music (all kinds)
Phat booty females that know how to keep it real
my true friends
family
good food
vacations (I need one so very bad)
Las Vegas.. (my favorite place)

Dislikes:
ignorance
disrespect
improper English
stupidity
Adding onto my friends list and not saying a word to me..


50 Things Women Do Wrong In Bed........

(Pay attention to numbers 9,21, and 37...they are the best!)

1. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that I have now stuck my hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against my mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving me responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell me. If you don't, it's your own fault when I'm snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting me to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes me pass out sometimes. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over my head, it's not my fault.

5. Expecting me to fall asleep with you in my arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting me to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting me to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a porn star all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect me to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down your throats, sex is NOT just about you. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I don't know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when I pushes your head down on my dick instead of stroking your hair. Do you know why I'm pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues I'm given you. Pay attention to the signals that I'm sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting me to undress myself with any amount of grace. I'm about to get some pussy. Be glad I bothered to take my pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress me yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. If you want your me stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. I hear waxing hurts. Some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want me to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming I can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, I can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. I didn't do it. Unless you want me to withhold oral sex because I'm hormonal, I suggest you get some knee pads.

16. Expecting me to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to me. If you're sexually active and insist that I use a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by the bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is mine. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when I talk dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If I treat you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when I call you my dirty little slut. When I call you a whore and tell you to come, its my way of showing that I care if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There's an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell me what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If I ask if I can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when I "accidentally" stick my dick in your butt.

22. Expecting me to undress you. If put you a bra on almost every day,Help a brotha out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give me something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason I should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. I'm more visual than you. Give me something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

26. Expecting me to do all the touching when you're riding me. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make my job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide my hand when I'm touching you. Don't like the way I'm doing it? Gently take my hand and show me how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when I don't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when I'm confused. You got me naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let me take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting me call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to me on all fours, push me down and crawl on top. It's not my responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that I have a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring my balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving me to my own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting me to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when I ask for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Hey, at least I Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get cum on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where I can and cant cum and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream my name. Something so I know I'm the best you've had, even if I'm not.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF I believe you) I think I'm doing everything right. And if I don't know its not working, I'm not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to my ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into my body that I have not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if I lose my hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, I'm probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way. I'm still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means I probably need to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.