34 Year Old
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Female
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Joined on March 23, 2009
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Relationship status: Single
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Born on November 7th
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2 different people have a crush on me!
15
34 Year Old
·
Female
·
Joined on March 23, 2009
·
Relationship status: Single
·
Born on November 7th
·
2 different people have a crush on me!
Interests
Coke + Moonlight = Judgement
Wouldn't it be great if people were like computers? Instead of acting on things like 'feelings' and 'emotions', we'd work off facts and empirical evidence, so that we'd never be fooled by the same racket twice.Sure, no one would be able to cry at chick flicks or sense when something's wrong when you come home from work, but who cares? The day you emulate your laptop will be the final day you look across the dinner table at your boyfriend and ask yourself, "what the hell am I doing with this guy?"
People fall hard and fast for each other, which is wonderful and normal. No one should begrudge anyone's puppy love. But as any parent will tell their offspring, puppy love is evanescent. True love takes endurance; which is why there's no point in beating yourself up about not trusting your judgement. It doesn't do you any good. I'm not saying that you should always trust your judgement. We're humans. We make mistakes. However, like lab rats who get shocked when they go for the wrong cheese, we have the capacity to learn from them. And if you're going out with the same narcissistic guy or the same alcoholic guy or the same emotionally unavailable guy over and over and over again, THAT'S where you need to beat up on yourself.
The one thing you can trust is that you've been down this path before and you know how it ends. You are asking yourself to enter your next relationship assuming you know anything. It's not the things you genuinely don't know that mess you up; it's the things you won't admit you know. It's the things that are sitting right there ready to be noticed.. if you're willing to pay attention to what's already happened in your own life.
You've learned, for instance, that when people stop calling and they make you do all the work, that's a bad sign. You've learned that picking at the scab of an old argument has never, ever in the history of your relationships, made anything better. You've learned that nobody interesting is attracted to you when you act helpless. You've learned that showing how damaged and needy you are will only attract drama.
So you have two choices: You can go on the theory that you don't know anything. You're single, after all. What do you know? Or you can listen to your own judgement and your own experience, and you can admit that you have, in whatever painful way, probably learned a lot. Of course, the problem is the fact that not all your instincts should be obeyed. Lots of things -- fear, over-thinking, past hurts, external pressure -- can throw them off. It's not that you should act on every impulse that you have on the assumption that your accumulated wisdom will steer your impulses every time. The trick, I think, is how to tell the difference between an impulse and an instinct. I wish there was a rule of thumb that would identify the difference between a gut feeling you must not ignore and one that you must overcome.
From time to time, you're going to guess wrong; there's no way around it. What you have to do is read the signs -- all the signs, good and bad, and do the best you can. You know things, and it's when you can feel yourself straining to ignore one of those things that is going to get yourself in trouble.
What do you, a single person, know about relationships? Probably more than you think...
hahaMiss ya BABE
lol. Hit me up from work or whatever, babygirl 
