1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
>> > 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
>> > 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
>> > 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
>> > 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
>> > 6. You watch the Weather Channel.
>> > 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and
>>"breakup."
>> > 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
>> > 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
>> > 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids
>>next door won't turn down the stereo.
>> > 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around
>>you.
>> > 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
>> > 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
>> > 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's
>>leftovers.
>> > 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
>> > 16. You take naps.
>> > 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the
>>beginning of one.
>> > 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely
>>upset, rather
>> > than settle, your stomach.
>> > 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not
>>condoms and
>> > pregnancy tests.
>> > 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
>> > 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
>> > 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never
>>going to
>> > drink that much again."
>> > 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
>>work.
>> > 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
>> > 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate
>>them
>> > instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
>> > Bonus
>> >
>> > 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign
>>that doesn't
>> > apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass
>> > Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know
>>they'll enjoy
>> > it & do the same. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
>>for they
>> > shall never cease to be amused.
