Okay ninjas let's get one thing straight, a tomato is NOT a fruit!! I have taken extreme precautions to protect fellow shinobi against these conspiricies by creating a lie-proof sanctuary made of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" (bearing in mind the government is lactose-intolerant). Although many of our fellow shinobi also suffer from this disease we know the secret.... It is infact margarine ;) In the case that our fort crumbles and our milk guns fail we must remain alert and trust only those that speak this password; "what's the password?" If you forget this, quote the number 42874905581 backwards whilst Rain Dancing to Mozarts' Second Symphony and a fellow shinobi will send you on a quest to retrieve the 3 scrolls containing the password. There is but one rule in my village; don't have fun!! That is all.... Our shinobi have left Pinky and the Brain a voicemail; The future is now!! We have long suffered at the hands of your bb guns and plastic pellets and now the tables have inevitably turned!! Our ninjas have retrieved your "Pellet Puncher 4000" but we are in desperate need of the pellets-to-punch-you-with, as our head ninja Craig is the forgetful of sorts.... Bring the pellets in a shiny suitcase at 6:43am to McDonalds!! Unfortunately McDonalds is closed at this time so we're gonna have to break in like rebels!! (As it happens ninjas are rather good at that but you wudn't know because you chose robots, HA!) If you don't bring the goods promptly I will hold up the gun to your head and shout; BANG, BANG... As that's all we can do because you have the pellets so ummm..... Seeya there..... NARF!! The delivery goose from the Mist Village (replacing the deceased pigeon-san) has presented an urgent request for aid. In our most dangerous mission yet we must assist the Mizukage in obtaining a limited-edition "Charizard" Pokemon Card to complete his "Base Set" collection. Rumours have echoed throughout Konoha that Joey Stafford (the 10 year old ginger kid that used to bully Mizukage-sama) has been graced by such a perfection in mint-condition!! Our objective is clear; we spend the next 4 years inventing a card-hypnotising-device then, we embed the image of a family-sized Toblerone in "Charizards" mind ultimately forcing it to cooperate in exchange for its favourite candy.... Or to save time, we could just steal it and run away! =I Proceed with caution ninja, for if Joey catches us he will surely beat us up and sit on our faces. As you can expect this is an S-Rank mission with the self-satisfaction of re-uniting a 42 year old man and his only love as our reward, it is our ninja way.... Though the existance of this glorius crayon is uncertain its reputation leaves little to our imagination - hailed as the greatest crayon to ever walk the earth. In awareness that a walking crayon is beyond retarded we ask that you refer to "Crayola" advertising, in which the red crayon appears to be boogying to Barry White. With the intelligence I have gathered, I was able to master the "Wellington-Boot-Tying-Jutsu". This will assist us in the stealth aspect of this mission, as crayons are scared of both sound and air. Scaring our golden target bares instant failure and results in the crayon running round in circles, screaming like a girl and flailing its spindly arms about (and it takes HOURS to get the thing to shut up)!! Our target was last spotted in the mouth of a "special" boy at Stikka-Spaz Primary and is likely to be nearby as The Golden Crayon has a gimp leg and a lisp. No time for hugs before action, this crayon has the colour i need for my picture of a meadow - it's gonna be sweeeeeeet!!