fubar

Okay, so I've decided to just put it out there because I can't remember (chemo brain, yes it is a real thing) which of my family and friends I've told, and visitors of course would have no clue... I am a stage 4 cancer patient, it's colon cancer that had spread to my liver... It was hit really hard with chemo for 6 months in early 2015 and all of my CT scans since have showed "no detectable cancer" so I'm in full remission now... I still take oral chemo, and go into the cancer clinic for an infusion every three weeks... The cancer marker is still in my blood, but the last I heard it was down below 3!!! I have been told the cancer will return with a vengeance... BUT, until then party on!!! lol...

Updated...

Also in the past 6 years I've had 2 heart attacks... Fluid leaking from my bad liver into my belly and twice I have had to have it drained... I have bad ligaments in both knees and a problem with my left hip... Needless to say, with all of this going on I do occasionally have minor bouts of depression, but I rarely admit to it... I usually just say I'm in a funk...

Updated...

Okay, so recently my gastroenterologist tells me I have way to much ammonia in my blood causing confusion, lack of clear thinking, and lethargy ... I am now taking medication for it... Heavy sigh...

Updated: 7-27-2020

I know all of my Updates should have been dated, but nobody has ever claimed I was the sharpest pencil in the ol' desk drawer...

I've been off of my chemo meds for over four months now, but the last blood test I got the results to show I'm still in complete remission... Okay, I just got the the latest results from my last blood test and the cancer marker in my blood actually dropped from 3.4 to 2.9... Even though the news has been good I've still been pretty depressed the last few days even though I've been taking Zoloft to try to combat it... Heavy sigh...

Updated: 9-16-2020

Well...... Still having off and on bouts of mild depression, but I'm dealing with it... I've been off of my chemo meds for six months now and I FINALLY got the results of my last blood test, blood was drawn on the fourth!!! The cancer marker in my blood has gone back up a little bit to 3.8, but I still am in full remission!!!! Every thing is right with the world... Oh yeah, all of my kidney functions are now in the normal range...

Updated: 10-16-2020

Got the results to my last blood test... The cancer marker in my blood is back above 3... It's still low enough I'm still off of my chemo, but my kidney function is all out of whack again... I forgot to take my meds last night so I didn't get my Zoloft, needless to say I'm feeling pretty depressed AGAIN today...

Updated: 01-05-21

Well I guess I've put this off for as long as I can... lol...
Not too long ago I had a nasty fall on the last step going down to my computer... I misjudged the last step and misses it altogether... Unfortunately there is a wall three feet (maybe four) at the bottom of the stairs that I smashed into... I hit my head pretty hard on the wall, I knocked myself silly, but at least I didn't knock myself out!!! No hospital!!!
Not long ago I went to see an ophthalmologist to see if my frequent headaches were caused by a vision problem... He told me he doubted it, but I do have "minor" cataracts and one pupil lower than the other... He ordered a couple of tests, so I went in Monday and got a MRA and a MRI done... I should find out the results sometime this week...
Cancer marker is good, still no chemo, and my liver functions have leveled off... Out of Zoloft again, but I'm hanging in there!!!

Updated: 01-18-21

A few days ago I got up from my recliner to use the rest room and I lost total control of my legs!!! They weren't numb, I just couldn't control them, I kept feeling like I was going to collapse onto the floor... I managed to get back close to my recliner so I could spin around and fall back into my recliner... I couldn't trust myself to get to urgent care or the hospital, but I will discus it with my paladin nurse when she gets here the day after tomorrow... Other than that I've been okay...

Updated: 02-17-21

First I need to make a correction on my 01-05 update... The Ophthalmologist didn't find I had one pupil lower than the other, it was I have one dropping eyelid... I've know about this for years and was not the slightest worried about it!!! BUT, he did find that my lymph glands are enlarged, so he of course notified my Oncologist and sent him the, now that he has a base line I have to go back in for another MRI... So, I got my first Covid 19 vaccine injection, I go back on 03-01 for my second one... I'm not sure what the point is anymore, with all of the variants out there I will still need to wear a mask and my face shield... I'm not sleeping worth a damn at night, I only napped off and on last night for about 3 1/2 hours... I'm always so tired I nap off and on during the day which leads to problems at night... Other than all of that it's pretty much business as usual, good days and bad days... Heavy sigh...

Updated: 3-6-21

Well, gonna be kinda boring again today as there's not much new to add... I did get my second vaccination on Monday, again for what it's worth... I also found out that the vaccine I got could cause enlargement of the lymph nodes, I will need to contact my Oncologist to see if he wants to postpone my next MRI... Other than that it's always the same ol' crap, just another day...

Updated: 4-7-21

Okay, so I've got two MRI scans this month, one of them I have to fast, and I don't even get my usual morning two pots of coffee!!! Argggggggggggg!!! I've also have the usual doctors appointments this month, of course a couple of them are to go over the results of the MRI scans, I assume the others are because the doctor has a car payment due... LOL...Still have my sleeping schedule all screwed up, which may explain why I'm feeling pretty depressed today, heavy sigh... Of course it's just another day in paradise... Yeah right...

Updated: 5-10-21

Sooooo... I had my video appointment with my oncologist last week and found out that my lymph nodes aren't any larger than my last CT scan, the spot on my lung hadn't gotten any bigger, and my the colon cancer marker in my blood is still under 5, still no chemo!!! All is really good news!!! I have yet to speak with my gastroenterologist, so I still don't know what the results of my ultrasound are... I thought they were just going to do my liver, but that was not the case... They did my liver, both kidneys, my gallbladder, and my pancreases...
All in all, with the exception of a low grade nagging headache, I'm doing okay today...

And lastly I want all of my friends and family to know just how much I truly appreciate them!!! Much love to all!!!

Updated: 12-11-21

It seems to me that I'm getting just a tiny bit weaker with every passing day...
I feel my health is heading downhill, kinda like I'm dying a very slow death...
On the evening of 12-6 I got up from my recliner, took two steps towards the kitchen and had a nasty fall... I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing I must have blacked out as I made no attempt to break my fall... I landed hard on my right side and I'm still sore today...
My legs are all swelled up, and that can be a symptom of congestive heart failure... I already had a stint put in one of my main arteries that was 90% blocked... I have serious shortness of breath and my oxygen level was down to 87... It has since raised to 94... I fear I again might have fluid trapped in my belly that needs to be drained for a third time, and fluid trapped between my lung and their plural sac which would need to be drained for a second time... The last time I had it drained I wound up with a collapsed lung and I was in the hospital for 3 days... So yeah, I'm just living the dream...

Updated: 12-18-21

I'm doing much better now, much love to those that were concerned!!!

Updated: 2-19-22

Well, I hate to sound like a fatalist, but I do believe my congestive heart failure or my COPD, perhaps both, are catching up to me... I, for the most part, haven't been depressed about it, I'm just accepting of my fate... I'll have to wait to see how it plays out... One good thing is my colon cancer is still in full remission, and I'm still off of chemo!!!

Updated: 4-17-22

I was reminded the other day that my original cancer prognosis was 3 to 5 years(thanks for reminding me), and I'm now almost at 7 1/2... Although the way I feel some mornings I almost wish I had died in my sleep, but I keep plugging along, kinda like the Eveready Bunny... lol...
So, when I last saw my oncologist he told me that my last blood test showed I had good liver function, yet not much more than a week later my gastroenterologist calls and says that my last blood test done for them showed a problem with my liver and an MRI of my liver has been scheduled... Like I'm not stressed enough, now I'm thinking since my colon cancer spread to my liver, could it be back in my liver??? And with all of the stress my smoking is out of hand which is doing my COPD a world of good... NOT... I've been afraid to check my oxygen level, I really don't want to go back on oxygen!!!
Oh well, I'm just gonna keep on truckin' like the do da man... Gee, I wonder what the poor people are doin'??? LMFAO!!!

Updated: 5-22-22

After waiting six weeks I finally got in to see an ENT specialist... He scoped out my throat and said everything looked fine, but he still wants a CT scan with contrast done on my neck... He also took a look at my right ear and said it also looked okay, funny thing is the next morning I had an ear ache... Oh well, I guess the problem is between my ears... lol... I still haven't had the MRI of my liver or have I found out the results of my last two (for two different doctors) blood tests... I'm really starting to hate the health care systems here in CO!!! I never had the problems I'm having here when I was still in CA!!! SHIT!!!

Updated: 7-2-22

So after waiting a few more weeks I Finally got an appointment to go in for the CT scan... When the results came in I was told I have hardening of the arteries in my throat, (I've never heard of it) and I should follow it up with my primary care physician... I also now have an appointment to go in for the MRI on my liver, of course it's not until next month... And on a side note, I've had lower back issues my entire adult life and laying on my back on a hard steel table for the CT scan just destroyed it!!! Of course I can look forward to doing it again next month... Anyways, as usual I'm still having good days and bad, it just seems lately the bad far outnumber the good... Heavy sigh...

Updated: 7-7-22

So I now have an appointment to see my primary care physician to see what the next step should be taken for the hardening of the arteries in my throat... And I fibbed about when my MRI was going to be, I actually got it done last Thursday... And I was surprised when I got the results on Friday, I was also told that the scan wasn't just my liver it included my lungs... Then they told me I have two soft tissue masses in my upper chest, and as I've said before, the fucking hits just keep coming!!! They sent all of the information to my oncologist and told me I needed to make an appointment to see him, when I called to schedule an appointment I was informed he was only working three days a week, so I go in to see him sometime in late 2024... Okay so it's next month... As I'm sure you can imagine with all of this shit piling up one on top of the other I'm much more stressed than usual!!!

Updated: 7-20-22

There was a cancellation so I actually was able to go in and see my oncologist yesterday... What he told me was that he was not all that concerned with the soft tissue masses in my upper chest because he managed to find a scan from 18 months ago that showed the same masses and the were same size... They hadn't gotten any bigger, but he did schedule a Pet scan for 7-28 just to verify (hopefully) it's not cancer... He also told me that if it did look like cancer a biopsy would be needed and it would require evasive surgery, they would have to break a rib to get to the mass... Yikes!!! More to follow...

Updated: 8-1-22

So I went in last Thursday for my PET scan which was from my ear lobes to my toes, and I saw my oncologist today to go over the results of scan... He told me he was very happy with the results, and that there was NO CANCER ANYWHERE!!! A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can breath again... Now if I could just do something about these damn daily headaches... Oh well, one step at a time...

Updated: 8-16-2022

I got the ultrasound done on my carotid arteries done last Wed. and I got the results today... I was told I have "significant" blockage of my left carotid artery, I'm not sure what significant means... I was given a referral and told I need to make an appointment with a vein specialist... I can't help but wonder if this problem is the cause of my daily headaches... Perhaps even the earaches in my right ear and blurred vision in my right eye, I guess time will tell...

Updated: 8-18-22

In the mail today I received a copy of my ultrasound test, and it included an explanation of what significant blockage" is... First is a quick diagnosis and a recommendation, then test results...

Stephen, your recent ultrasound shows significant stenosis of the carotid arteries. I would recommend you make an appointment to see Dr. XXXXX XXXXX, vascular surgery or one of his associates.

1. Greater than or equal to 70% internal carotid stenosis on the left, but less than near occlusion.
2. Between 50 and 69% internal carotid stenosis on the right

Update: 9-27-22

There will be no more updates, and all of this will go away very soon.
Thank you for your interest. xoxo