ABOUT ME:
I've had ADHD all my life - not formally diagnosed with it until a couple years ago. That has been a blessing and a curse. It's phenomenal in that the extreme focus/obsession has made me exceptionally good at everything I've put my earnest into (people always thought it was talent, but it wasn't... just transmutation of sexual drive and intensity directed into specific physical or creative disciplines). The obverse side to that coin is that it's taken a long time for me to discover and learn about all that crap in order to effectively deal with it and keep the negative aspects at bay.
I've been through more in this life than I suspect most people would typically experience in three lifetimes. Kids? Love em - I created 8. Same marriage, same two people - mostly older - the ones that are still at home live with their mom, which is why I live in the Springs... that's where my kids are. For 20 years, that was my motivation for EVERYthing. No regrets... fabulous investment.
My life has been eclectic at a minimum. Always been a knowledge-sponge - physiological, spiritual, philosophical, learned from it all. I've been through, seems like it at least, practically every self-help and personal development program out there. My mom was a therapist (uggh, but good), I discovered Robert Schuller, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, and Napolean Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" at the age of 19... Tony Robbins, Dale Carnegie, Wayne Dyer, Chopra, et al (tons of others), a plethora of churches (variety of faiths always with an open mind in all things toward all people). Found lots that serves me well and plenty that didn't.
Made plenty of mistakes (1X,ea.). Did lots of things right, too. Were I on my deathbed at this moment, I'd be proud of what I leave behind.
Having said that... the best is "so" yet to come. I'm stoked about the life that lays before me. How I'd love to find the right lady to have along side me to share and show me and grow and play with. Democracy all the way... you get what you put in... give and take but don't give "to" take... it's all out of love baby :)
No jealousy. No possessiveness. No mistrust or holding back. They say if you love something, set it free... it'll come back to you if it was meant to be? Bullshit. If you really loved it in the first place, you wouldn't have to set it free... it already was. I want you to be with me by "choice," because you want to, because you adore and cherish me, the same way I "choose" to treasure you. Not because of an agreement or an accounting system. Hey, if you want to be with Stu over there, go for it. Not saying I will or won't still hang around if you decide to do that... just that I don't want you to keep yourself from doing what your heart truly desires. THAT is what love is, IMHO.
One final niggle that's itchin' ta spew out here for the sake of correction... "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Bullshit. Tell that to the eagle that just got hit by a car and lost his wings. He's alive, but he can't fly, and he sure as hell ain't any stronger. What doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you. That's it. But you can learn from the experience and use that knowledge to help yourself and others in the future if you choose to. And if you choose that path, I suppose you indeed are stronger as a result. Just know for the record, tho, that it IS optional. :)
Sorry to be such an opinion-aholic here (you know what they say about opinions? They're like a$$-holes... everybody's got one, and they all stink~` {save for mine and your's tho, baby}). Just that I type as fast as I think, and sometimes think too fast for my own good. Scares me sometimes :) Hope it doesn't scare you. But hey, just think... sink your hook into this fresh new lobster and you won't have to come up with any "conversation starters" to keep the action going ever again! So there! The glass IS half full, after all. Hmmph.
Oh, and don't mistake my preferred manners of kindness, gentleness, and loving playfulness for weakness or as indifference. I'm very much an Aries Alpha male and know how to take care of business and protect my own. Like a Ferrari, I tell my kids in regard to self-defense, you don't lead-foot into all 560 of it's Horses-power just to trickle onto the freeway - but it's nice to know you have that puppy tucked under the hood. Just in case :).
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THE FIRST DATE:
Something light, fun, quick-escape routes (at both sides of the table, I ain't scared, you scared?). I've literally never been on a first date (he-he, but no joke). Didn't work that way for me when I hooked up and got married... I was a young, dumb, about to become ROCK star, er so I thought at the time... sh*thappened way to fast, 'tzall good tho :) Let's just check this thing out and see how it goes. Always up for new experiences with good people. No expectations, pressure, or regrets. If you have even a little streak of judgemental mean-ness in you, plz check it at the door... I moved on from that a long time ago. Tolerance is a good thing (I know you have it, but this town is sheesh... well we can have that conversation later)... keep it real, keep it UP and positive... you get what you focus on - and if you like the results you're getting... yer doing it right. Otherwise, stop, recalibrate, refocus and try something else. Works for me.
All seriousness aside... this is all new for me. I may sound**** or arrogant... please don't take it that way. I am confident in myself, that much I know. But "you"... man I'm hoping so much to find real love that this part of it all kinda scares me. But if I don't at least try... I'll never know. Like you, I think, this profile here is a house of cards - it's real, it's me, nothing phony in it... but man, I'm sure a lot more than just this. You too, yeah? It takes a lot more space and a lot more time to get to know someone - not just that "best foot" put forward there on the one-page dossier. I have some fine print too. But at least I can read it... and if it's bad, I'm working on it. Truly. Oh yeah.... one more thing... freakin' honesty... out of the gate on the front-end of all this - that's numero' uno with me. I'm growed up... I can handle the truth. You be too, kay? Trust me, I'll love you anyway - only all the more - cuz it's the real you I'm getting to see. Ta-ta, Ciao, and adios fer now.
Oh... if you like me at all... plz don't hesitate or wait... ASK! I have NEVER asked a girl to go out with me on a date. Too funny, huh? Hey I made 8 kids so far... can't tell me it's for lack of nutz. So scary tho, isn't it. What if you say no?!! Yikes! Or what if you say something mean or laugh at me?!! I know, I know. "Other people's opinion of me is none of my business," or "your reputation is in 'other' people's mind's so you can't control it so don't worry about it - it's your 'character' you need to focus on cuz that's the result of the decisions you make... even the one you're about to make right here... right... now:?).
P.S. I typed out the above in precisely the same amount of time it took me to cook a roast... 22 minutes per pound at 425 degrees F... * a 2.25 lbs, rounded to 1 hr. and I'm eating it now (w/rice & asparagus)... delish... bon apetit' to me... I don't hate much, but I must say I do hate cooking and eating alone. Wish "you" were here to share with :)
