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jimbo's blog: ""

created on 11/04/2006  |  http://fubar.com/-/b21194

Lord help us all

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word "God" is mentioned.... a kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW School prayer. Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule For this great nation under God Finds mention of Him very odd. If Scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow Becomes a Federal matter now. Our hair can be purple, orange or green, That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in a public hall Might offend someone with no faith at all. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state. We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable. We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy, ' our Senior King. It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong. We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd. It's scary here I must confess, When chaos reigns the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot; My soul please take! Amen If you aren't ashamed to do this, please pass this on. Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me, " I will be ashamed of you before my Father." Not ashamed. Passing this on . . .

Press1 for English

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEJfS1v-fU0
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A far more accurate account of the events that fateful morning.......... Baby Bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table, and looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For God's sake, how many time do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mommy Bear who got up first. It was Mommy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mommy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mommy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mommy Bear who went out in the cold morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Mommy Bear who set the damn table. It was Mommy Bear who put the bloody cats out, cleaned the litter boxes, gave the cat's their food and refilled their water. And now that you have decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mommy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully because I am only going to say this once....................... I HAVEN'T MADE THE FU*KING PORRIDGE YET!!"

TICK WARNING!

TICK WARNING! I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally...but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and they ask you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!!!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid

stress management

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a > stress management technique recommended in all the > latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that > it really does work. Think about each step below. The > entire process can be successfully accomplished in > less than one minute. > > 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock > that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. > 2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in > the cool running water. > 3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air. > 4. No one knows your secret place. > 5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place > called the world. > 6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the > air with a cascade of serenity. > 7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily > make out the face of the S.O.B. you are holding > underwater. > > See? > It really does work.

I won the lottery!"

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
The Cadbury's Candy Co. And Merck Drug Co. Have combined to market the new Mint flavored birth control pill that women may take immediately before sex. The Pill will be distributed by the large major drug store chains and Wal-Mart's Pharmacies. They're going to be called.. "Pre-dick-a-mints!"

My Son

My Son A mother asked President GW Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?" A mother asked President Clinton, "Why did my son have to die in Saudi Arabia ?" A mother asked President GHW Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Kuwait ?" Another mother asked President Johnson, "Why did my son have to die in Vietnam ?" Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea ? Another mother asked President FD Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to die on Iwo Jima ?" Another mother asked President W. Wilson, "Why did my son have to die on a battlefield on a field in France ?" Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg ?" And yet another mother asked President Washington, "Why did my son have to die on a frozen field near Valley Forge ?" Then long, long ago, a mother asked..."Heavenly Father, why did my Son have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem ?" The answer is the same -- "So that others may have Life and dwell in peace, happiness, and freedom." This was emailed to me with no author. I thought it was awesome. IF YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, PLEASE, FEEL FREE..... TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

http://patriotfiles.org/Pledge.htm
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