You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When.......
You and your friends walk around calling yourselves "The Impact Players"
You pile-drive your pet cat for no apparent reason.
You can't drink a bottle of water without tilting your head back and spitting a mouthful out
After sex you shout, "WHOOOOOOO!"
On your resume you write "I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be"
Instead of hugging relatives you give them bear hugs & mandible claws
You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response
You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'm watching RAW"
Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it
On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"
After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back
You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count
You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason
You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage or grudge match would settle everything.
Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.
Instead of punishing your kids by grounding them, you threaten them with stunners, choke slams & tombstones
At a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant.
Your girlfriend dumps you and you tell her there's no way she'll ever "play with the big boys," and that she will never get past mid-card status.
You search and search the bible for the book of Austin.
If you quit your Job because you have to find your "Smile."
If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him.
You attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays.
You rate women on a scale of Chyna to Stacy.
If whenever you walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music."
If you get into an argument with a co-worker and challenge him to a loser must retire match.
You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone cheats, you turn your head.
If you refer to all the women in your work area your valets.
You think a tilt-a-whirl looks fun.
Your teacher gives you detention, so you give him a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers.
You won't come out of your room until your parents play your theme on the radio.
You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.
