The Minister's blog: "You too many mind.."

I need to break the silence Can I not drop my guard let someone see me these fragmented thoughts the nightmares I breed all my worries and fears broken dreams, hopes faded storms raging through tearing me apart I'm broken can't you see the cries have broke through my walls have crumbled naked and vunerable nows the time let them see.... can anyone see? will anyone see me?

I sit here and wonder wondering why I am alone questioning what I feel Why this burning loneliness why must i suffer this what could this bring Is there a reason behind all this sorrow I reach for a hand that is not there i am cast away backs have been turned to me outcast to the shadows in a world full of pain shivering in the cold abandoned and empty uncomplete, whats missing desperate to be whole will your eyes open will i be seen recognized seen as something unlike the nothing I have become

why can't I break free? I can't take this slavery can i lift these chains cut the ropes that bind me restrained by this pain held down by the grief consuming my every thought eating at my every fiber help me escape run from the bitter cold leave behind this harsh winter

It's not alright the way you left me beaten and raped heart broken my identity lost stripped from me what has been left for me my life desimated as you walk away heartless in your ways unscathed and uncaring leaving me here to face the setting sun fate lies over the horizon desolate and consuming

Dead inside dead to you dead to the world tortured by your words killed by your lies who the fuck are you to take my heart crushed at your will this empty husk aching inside why can't I die and let this subside why do I have to be a fucking plaything left in this world only meaning is pain leave me to decay looking to be whats inside

does anyone actually read my dribble...i know its always blah blah blah...I know you've got to be thinking shut the fuck up you whiny lil bitch don't go away the sun will set ending the day don't go away the night will come i will lose my way don't go away the light recedes I'll never survive don't go away for tomorrow you make me strive don't go away leaving me here alone and crying don't go away lost in the night broken and dying

slipping away i fall from you please don't let go save me and never let go I struggle to hold on I feel your grip fade away your back has been turned hands that held me high cast me aside lost and abandoned i wander alone again hoping to find the light that has eluded me so long

its all the same these words heard them all before its all the same these tears have fallen before its all the same gone now everyone leaves me its all the same this feeling lonliness fills me its all the same why now will it ever change?

yep more crap I walk a fine line between here and eternity take that final step no reason to stay losing my will hopes have been killed thoughts broken down the scales' fatal tilt the balance of fate is lost my final breath my last tear

well the latest installment from the wonderful world in my head tonight i die tired of the shit its been piled higher and higher drowning me what else is there can anything be done besides what i contimplate nothing stops me this night cure my plague end this life tonight i die