You Know You're in a Redneck Church If...
>1. ... the finance committee refuses to provide funds
for the purchase of a
>chandelier because none of the members knows how to
play one.
>
>2. ... when the congregation learns that Jesus fed
the 5000, they ask
>whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
bait was used to catch
>'em.
>
>3. ... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba
to help take up the
>offering," five guys and two women stand up.
>
>4. ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church
>holiday.
>
>5. ... a member of the church requests to be buried
in his 4-wheel-drive
>truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it
couldn't get out of".
>
>6. ... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
>
>7. ... in a congregation of 500 members, there are
only seven last names in
>the church directory.
>
>8. ... people think "rapture" is what you get when
you lift something too
>heavy.
>
>9. ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized
"Wheeling" washtub.
>
>10. ... the choir robes were donated by (and
embroidered with the logo
>from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
>
>11. ... the collection plates are really hubcaps from
a '56 Chevy.
>
>12. ... instead of a bell you are called to service
by a duck call.
>
>13. ... the minister and his wife drive matching
pickup trucks.
>
>14. ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled
Pink".
>
>15. ... "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin'
dogs, too.
>
>16. ... the final words of the benediction are,
"Y'all come back now, ya
>hear".
>
>
>--
>It's all good
