One Red Diva's blog: "You know who you are, A variety of things...."

Why is it that the people that we think we know go to grave lengths to hurt us, when all that we've done to them is love them, support them and give them out hearts unconditionally. I love someone who claimed that they loved me until the bitter end. I was faithful to them and did whatever was necessary to keep our relationship strong and healthy. These days its no different loving a man or a woman because neither is any better than the other. They can both go behind your back and rip your heart to shreds. I went from being a straight mother, to a lesbian wife and i was happy, i thought that God had given me the world. The person that I loved more than myself hurt me, ripped my heart right out of my chest and just stomped on it. She was suppose to be 100% lesbian, but now she's pregnant by someone that i hate with a passion. Oh God tell me what did i do to deserve this, to not only have someone cheat on me, but get pregnant. I am so heartbroken and mentally and emotionally a wreck. I'm physically sick because of this. How do you get over something of this magnitude and even begin the healing process??? God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

It ain’t easy BY BLACKGURRL Sitting and Pondering My mind was justa wondering Issues Decisions What premonitions Were stalking my life It's demanding my attention Feels like a conviction And all I can do is sit here reminiscing Thinking of things to keep me on board Cause Lord Knows How much more….. I can take Before I break Make a mistake That I can't fix All because My gyrl turned to some trick My employer's unfair, My car needs repair My best friends' not there The bills are due I haven't a clue How da hell My ass Gonna pull all this through What's keepin me sane? There's that dayum headache again When does it ease When will I seize A moment to just relax Kick back, Be on track My God, Can you please just cut me some slack? Sitting still and quiet again I looked around as I heard my name A little me, My daughter She put all things back in order Her words to me So sweet and secure Were "Mommy I love you" I thought and replied "Baby, I love you more"

[Chorus:] I don't really wanna stay, I don't really wanna go, But I really need to know, Can we get it together, Get it together. I don't really wanna go, I don't really wanna stay, But I really hope and pray, Can we get it together, Get it together. [Verse One:] You don't know the pain that I feel, You've taken my love for granted, And you just wanna see it your way. It's about that time, I'm gonna tell ya what's on my mind. I'm fed up with you not being here with me, When you know love is all I need, I don't want to stay... [Repeat Chorus] [Verse Two:] I can't let go, 'Cause being confused just takes control. I hope we can start brand new, 'Cause I don't want to loose you. With the love we shared, Baby it's oh so rare, I'm willing to try and make you see, That all you need is here in me, I don't want to go... [Bridge:] I don't wanna stay, I don't wanna go, But you gotta let me know, How you feel. [Repeat] [Repeat Chorus and Bridge] [Verse Three:] See I'm so confused, I just don't know what to do, And I don't understand, no. You know I don't wanna stay, You know I don't wanna go, Baby, please listen to me. [Repeat Chorus to fade]