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  • If you wouldn't let Clinton baby sit your daughter but do trust the bastard with my freedom, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you feel the media has a conservative slant, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you don't think the media has any bias then you work for it and you are a fucking liberal. -- It also means you don't have a clue why you're losing viewers, readers and credibility. Try selling the Truth! It would be more shocking than a Jerry Springer episode.
  • If you feel the only thing wrong with Communism was the wrong man was in charge, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you want to take everything I've worked for and give it to some low life scum, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you feel character doesn't matter because your political candidate is devoid of any, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you think the Republicans in Congress are just a bunch of spineless bastards selling out our freedoms and passing the same old tax and spend budgets, as likely as not you're a conservative. -- How the hell did that get in here.
  • If you believe the First Amendment covers burning and/or shitting on the flag of the United States of America but want Rush Limbaugh banned from the air-waves for hate speech, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you don't feel Clinton is a liberal but voted for him twice because Republicans would eat your children, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you feel all the problems in your life are my fault, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you believe self-esteem can be given without being earned, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you have to spend time telling people, you're "not a liberal" then you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you are Roger, who calls all the conservative radio talk shows and doesn't want to be called "Red Roger," you are a fucking liberal. 
    [Roger's lawyer has advised me to add the disclaimer, "Roger doesn't feel he's a fucking liberal."]
  • If you even use the word "homophobic," you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you want any voice that disagrees with you silenced, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you have never used the phrase, "extreme liberal," you probably write for UPI/Reuters.
  • If you feel talking about Pearl Harbor is "mean spirited," you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you want me to pay for that elitist crap, even you won't watch on PBS, a forth rate network that can't even beat CBS in the rating for God's sake, not only do you have you head up your ass and your hand on my wallet, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you feel Bill Gates has to much Goddamn money, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you've bored to death everyone, who couldn't escape your presence, by explaining you're a "moderate," you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you feel Clinton is a good president, good looking and good in bed, you're Eleanor Clift or Nina Burleigh, a former White House correspondent who covered the White House for Time.
  • If you call me a racist, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you stay up late at night drinking with me and telling me you're more conservative than I am, you are a fucking liberal.
  • If you want the government to pay for suing me because I hurt your feeling, you are a fucking liberal.
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