Lexi's blog: "I remember."

It's the third year anniversary of my mothers passing today. I wanted to honor her a bit by....well...rambling about her for a few moments. I'm not asking anyone to read this, it's mainly here for her and I. But, if you're interested in knowing a bit about one of the coolest women to walk this Earth then...by all means, read on.

I remember New Year Eve. You standing on the front porch banging pots and pans absolutely carefree and ecstatic. I remember your music, I still cannot hear anything from Willy Nelson or James Taylor without crying. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, hearing songs that were essentially yours still bring tears to my eyes. Every time I pick up a book I'm reminded of you. You gave me my love of reading, among countless other valuable traits. All those PBS shows I would have never even knew existed, the parades with all the grandkids on holidays, and the "Let's see if we can get lost for the day" trips in the car.

I remember all your stories of your childhood in Brooklyn and the summers in East Hampton. All the friends and neighbors that instantly became new members of our family, and how many people you'd run into that called you Ma. The BBQ's that seemed to last all summer long. The trips to the library. The never ending amount of work you did around the house and for all of us. I took it and you for granted and I never had the chance to correct that. Sitting in the basement and hearing you and Todd talk about every, single thing imaginable for hours on end. ( I swear that man liked you more then he ever liked me. Lol)

The "Hidden" Drawer in the fridge and how you'd try and hide the last piece of whatever was someones favorite something. Your coloring books and the really, really cool box filled with all those buttons that I was never allowed to play with. The Jelly Rings, Easter Pie (I always thought that was weird. lol) and I will argue till the day I die that you were the only person on this Earth that actually ATE the fruit cake at Christmas time. And enjoyed it. I remember your Birthday/Christmas and the house being packed to the gills with people. Friends and family alike. And how almost every year another "Kid" got to sit at the big table. I remember you yelling at Vinny and Rose for making gross faces at the kids while eating the Calamari, hanging tentacles out of their mouths. The Xmas cards that went around the entire kitchen and into the living room. All the dolls and porcelain. How you'd yell at the TV when someone did something you thought was stupid or scary. .......THE IRON SPOON. ~Twitches @ the thought~ lol

I thank you for all you taught me. You were one of the most intelligent, humble, eclectic and thoughtful people I've had the honor of meeting. Your thirst for constant knowledge was insatiable, your sillyness unique, and your temper more powerful then an atom bomb when triggered correctly. (That part I've seen, felt and hidden from many times personally) ....Oh, and that box of buttons I was never allowed near as a child? It was one of the keepsakes belonging to you that I asked for when I left. It's currently up in the farthest part of my closest.....FAR AWAY from Lil' Man, and all those extra hands every small child seems to miraculously grow whenever they're in a "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" zone. lol.

I lost a lot three years ago. My mother, my childhood home and the love of my life and I'll never get over that. It will get a bit easier but it will never go away. I am thoroughly convinced that I'm surviving here because you gave me the strength and sheer willpower to want to continue and make my life better. And for that, I thank you most of all.

~Bows in reverence then moves on, singing softly....~ So, goodnight, you moonlight ladies....