I am a girl from a small town. But who isn't, right? I like to think of myself as a real quiet, shy type.. until you break the shell and I'm the craziest bitch you'll ever meet.





I'm concerned my workouts have become tailored more to not dying than to getting laid. I'd have a nicer ass if I didn't feel so lame doing the exercises that improve asses. I'd like to live in a world where people only honked if they were horny. Sometimes I wish I could make love to the environment. I don't worry about identity theft because thieves have better spending habits than me. I have trust issues with dairy. I don't give a shit if you don't smoke weed; I do and that's all that matters to me. I monopolize the gym's lamest machines. Things are starting to get serious between me and my hand-held showerhead. I'd rather have my head explode than wear a bike helmet. I simply cannot be trusted to drive alone without masturbating. Using all caps makes me feel POWERFUL. Coffee enhances my social phobias. I've done unspeakable things to my couch cushions. I avoid conversation by pretending to listen to music. I'm too horny to be in public. Life has become a major distraction from my BlackBerry. My favorite place to eat in my neighborhood is my sofa. I try to allocate a significant portion of my paycheck towards hard alcohol. I can't handle the pressure of making my own salad. I consider myself an expert on unsuccessful relationships. I'd blow a pharmacist for 2 mg of Klonopin. I'm concerned about some of my hobbies. And to end with a political, yet powerful message.. I firmly believe Obama is going to fuck things up less.

Courtesy of MsTags.com