'Twas, the night before Christmas and all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for my mouse.
No kids lived with me, so I thought I would chatter
There'd be no dang reindeer, and no stupid clatter.
There'd be no fat elf, coming through my chimmney
I'll be alone, my computer and me.
I won't race to the window, to see him arrive
I'll just sit right here... with windows ninety-five.
There's no one I know, as I'm surfing around
None of my regular buddies are to be found.
I went in some chat rooms, but quickly got out
Age, Sex, Location is all that's about.
As, I was about to go check out the net.
I got an message, which I didn't expect.
A lady told me, she had read my profile
And ask, If I would like to chat for a while.
She said, if I didn't, then she would just leave
But, she was so lonely, on this Christmas Eve.
She said, it's the first time, she'd ever been on
But, she heard computers could be so much fun.
She said the computer was usually locked up tight
But, she said, her husband left it on tonight.
He's away on some business; He'll be gone all night
So, she thought she'd use it, "I guess it's all right"
She started to tell me about her whole life
How she was expected to be a good wife.
She talked of her anger, frustrations, and needs
Because, she was forced to do such silly deeds.
She talked on and on, from on thing to the next
The finally told me... she was oversexed.
She didn't have sex with her husband, she told
He's always too busy, and getting too old.
Then, she wrote me something, that made my heart vex
She asked me to teach her to have cyber-sex.
I said, if she wanted me to, that I could
Then after an hour, she got really good.
After five hours, my fingers were sore
I told her, that I couldn't go anymore.
She said, that was fine because she was tired too
And anyway, her husband, soon would be due.
She said she would be on, the same time next year
Then asked, if I wouldn't mind meeting her here.
She said, only.. on this night she could be found
It is only .. this night, her husband leaves town.
She said bye, and signed off.. and I had to pause.
I think I just cybered ... with Mrs. Santa Claus!
