So tonight I go out with my 'rents to go eat dinner and while we're sitting there waiting on our food we get to talking about stuff to get for other members of our family and this is where things start to get a little interesting. You see, my grandma on my dad's side (his mom) is super religious and her and I just don't see eye on a lot of things, for example she thinks it's necessary to force a hug from me each time she sees me while I cringe with the blackest of hatred and grit my teeth because the way I think about it is "if I wanted to fucking hug you then I'd do it on my own." and also she is on like her 7th husband and I don't really like him either because he's the same way and I seriously think that he's a fucking serial killer. I mean the dude wears sweaters like all the time as if he raided Bill Cosby's wardrobe, he has like the perfect comb over, wears glasses, and has a monotone voice. And well... we start talking about what to get him and so my dad calls my grandma to ask her for ideas and she says to get him some underwear and at the same time my dad and I say "oh fuck no... it is NOT acceptable for a man to buy another man underwear at anytime in his life ever for any reason at all, that breaks the rules of the international code of manhood and the only time it's ok to hold another man's hand is help him out of a burning car or something." And at this time there was some gay dudes sitting behind us who had to overhear all this shit and looked over at us all weird and I caught on to what just happened and tried not to die out laughing, then I proceeded to drop gay jokes for the rest of our meal. Good times, good times indeed.
