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Raven's blog: "Writings"

created on 07/23/2007  |  http://fubar.com/writings/b106392

I Blame You

I Blame You For every painful breath I blame you For every second before death I blame you For every dark and clouded thought I blame you And for being the one the world forgot I blame you So what if it's all my imagination I blame you Forget it, it's my own resignation I blame you It still does not make it any better But I blame you I can't fucking change the weather So fuck it, I blame you. Even if you don't deserve what I say I still blame you But you won't go unheard because, one day She'll blame me too

One Year Day Four

Day Four Exhaustion was kind to Jess and she fell into a deep sleep not very long after Kat left her. Her dreams were dictated by the frustrated state in which she remained, however. Her body replayed the previous day's events in her head, writhing as it remembered mouths sucking at her nipples and hands holding her down and spreading her legs. This time she pleaded with Aidan to let Jon continue, to let him fuck her while he watched if it meant her release. She closed her eyes when Jon pulled away as he had before. When she opened them again Kat's eyes met hers. Jess felt soft bare flesh against her breasts and Kat leaned down to kiss her slowly. Jess returned it eagerly, fighting with bound hands to touch her. A moment later Kat broke the kiss and silky tresses tickled Jess's ribs as the woman on top her lifted up and shifted forward. Kat offered her breast and Jess parted her lips impatient to feel the hard nipple against her tongue, and woke suddenly. Jess was breathless and could feel strands of hair sticking to her neck. She blinked several times trying to clear the fog from her mind and get her bearings, and she was instantly aware that she could not close her legs. "Looks like I wouldn't mind being in your dreams, love." Kat said kneeling in front of her with a hand on either thigh holding her legs apart. She moved her right hand and slid her thumb across the swollen lips of her sex several times. "And you are enjoying this a great deal aren't you." Jess's cheeks turned crimson and she tried to bury her face in the carpet wishing she could crawl under a rock and die. "Why are you ashamed?" Kat asked as she leaned over and removed the cuffs allowing Jess to lie completely on her back. "You have the potential to make a very good slave." Jess didn't know why she shouldn't be ashamed as wanton as she felt. She was an unwilling captive, yet she gave into whatever they wanted as easily as any slut. She should be fighting, but she could merely beg for release. She stared up at the ceiling without answering. "Come on." Kat said patting the inside of her thigh. "A cold swim would do you good." Jess perked up, the thought of cold water dousing at least some of her desire a welcome relief. She got to all fours and followed her leash down the carpeted hall to the bathroom. After stopping there they continued out a white door to a warm humid glass enclosed area. The floor was rough stone and tropical trees and plants were placed beautifully throughout the room. The sound of water falling drew your attention to one end of the stone pool that dominated the center of the space. Kat removed her leash and motioned to the blue water. "Jump in, do some laps, and work off some of that energy. It'll help." Jess heeded the suggestion, though she was confused as to why the housekeeper would give her any relief when she was the main cause of her anguish as it was. Thankfully the water was cool and with every lap she took her lust waned a little further. She didn't bother keeping count of how many, choosing instead to go until she could simply swim no more. Jess climbed back out of the pool a little unsteady and Kat immediately came to her with a towel. "Feel better?" "Yes." Jess answered still trying to catch her breath. She could finally feel more than just the throbbing emptiness longing to be filled. "I'm glad. It's likely to be the only break you get today." The housekeeper said as she toweled off her hair. "What do you mean?" Jess asked as Kat moved to her front and dried her face. Jess couldn't help but notice every little thing about the woman. She was about an inch shorter and the sunlight playing in her hair illuminated the most beautiful red highlights. She had beautiful curves and Jess was dying to know what it would be like to kiss her neck, her breasts, even what she might taste like. "To be blunt, I believe Aidan wishes to make you suffer for some time." Kat answered as she continued drying her. "Lay down please." "Why?" Jess asked timidly, the apprehension of spending another day in her heightened condition taking hold of her. "Hmmm, the way you're going you'll spend the rest of your year begging for relief." Jess jumped when she heard Aidan's voice. "I would suggest you do what she says and never let me hear you ask why again." Aidan said as he walked into her field of vision. He leaned against one of the trees and watched as Jess lay down on the rough stones. Pretty Kat adored distressing his little pets, especially if someone was watching, and Aidan utterly adored her for it. He watched her dropped the towel on the ground between Jess's legs and kneel down on it. Jess's body tensed, desperately trying to hold still as Kat's soft fingers spread her apart. "Don't speak." Kat warned her quietly before she proceeded. Kat moved slowly, obviously delighting in Jess's misery, as she teased the entrance, outlining it, then sliding up to circle the little throbbing nub nestled above so slowly Jess was sure she was going to scream. She caught her lip between her teeth as Kat closed her eyes and concentrated the tip of her tongue directly under the little hood. Jess's muscles tensed, starting from her thighs, as her body once again neared the climax it had been consistently denied. "You do not have permission little one." Aidan said appearing at her side and affectionately stroking her hair. Jess didn't argue. She did her best to focus on something, anything but Kat. It was a battle she was sure she would lose, but her tormentor stopped just short of her threshold. She stared up at the glass ceiling as her body shuddered, tears slipping from the corners eyes caused by the unrequited fire burning within her. He was pleased. It was a small start, but a start none the less. "You did well, pet." He said, kissing her damp forehead. Jess spent the next few hours in quiet contemplation. She felt numb as she sat at Aidan's feet eating her bowl of fruit. Aidan and Kat chatted but Jess barely heard them while she tried to come to terms with the battle inside her. She wanted this. It was why she had come. She wanted to be bound, controlled, and used for the amusement of one. But he intended to give her to others. He already had. She shivered and felt the heat burning in her cheeks when she thought of the day before. She wanted Aidan to give her back to them, and she wanted to die for even thinking it. He noticed the blush on Jess's cheeks as she stared at the floor and knew immediately what occupied her mind. He couldn't help but smile when he thought her at the hands of Jon and his cohorts. She needed to say it though. "What are you thinking of, pet?" Jess wouldn't have looked up at him even if she could have. She would have remained quiet if it was an option. "Ummmm…nothing…sir." She quietly answered after a moment, praying to herself that it would be enough. He stared at her without saying a word, actually giving her the chance to correct herself, but she stayed silent. "I don't tolerate lying." His tone was calm. She tried to think of something that would suffice for she could not bear to tell him the truth. "Ummmm…earlier, sir." She said in barely a whisper. She had already hung herself. While he was not fond of corporal punishment, it was very difficult to come up with an alternative for such infractions. He was curious just how far she would go, however. "What about earlier? And speak clearly. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Somehow the simple instruction only made her blush worse, and she had no clue how she was going to speak clearly. "When Kat had me lay down." She got the words out as quickly as she could. "More slowly; tell me how it felt." He propped his elbow on the counter he sat at and rested his cheek on his fist as he observed her. She took a deep breath and shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Her mouth was dry as she tried to think of the words she might have written. They seemed impossible to say. "It was warm." She said as slowly as she could. "Go on." He said encouragingly. "And don't leave anything to my imagination. I want to hear everything." She would have begged him to let her remain silent, but he seemed adept at thinking up ways to make the situation worse if she refused to follow through. Having Kat there to listen as she recounted their newest little game with her seemed as bad as it could get, but she dared not tempt fate. "Her tongue felt warm and soft on my clit." She winced and took another deep breath, flushing more so now than she had in the entire time she'd been there. She locked her eyes on the ground as she started to continue. "I wish…" "Look at Kat. Tell her how much you enjoyed it." Aidan said as he thought about how useful her little lie had turned out. She would still need to be reminded that lying was never allowed however. She looked at Aidan first, trying to find some way to convince him not to make her do this. He didn't have the smile on his face she expected, he just nodded towards cat and she reluctantly followed his gaze. "I enjoyed it very much." She said flatly as she fought to keep her gaze on the woman that peered down at her from across the counter. Aidan sighed heavily. "Tell her what you enjoyed." He said with a hint of aggravation. "And I am not telling you to say this to humiliate you. I just want you to tell her the truth. It is true is it not pet?" It was which only made it worse. The numbness from earlier had worn off and recollections of the previous seventy-two hours were driving her mad again. "I enjoyed the way you your tongue felt inside me very much and I want you to do it again." It sounded just awful to her but she figured if she didn't get as detailed as possible he'd make her say it again. Aidan nodded then dropped down from the stool. "Very good girl." He smiled as he grabbed a handful of her shoulder length hair and started walking forward. She got to all fours and followed him quickly to keep up. She was at a complete loss as to what was going on. "I think we'll start with 10." Ten what?!? She managed to keep the question to herself however. "Care to tell me what you were really thinking about?" He asked as he pulled her though the den and down another hall. "I told you, Sir!" How could he go through all that and still think she was lying? "Fifteen." As was common there was no emotion in his voice She felt her heart quicken as she realized he must be referring to some form of punishment. Her suspicions were confirmed when he opened the door they stopped at. "It wasn't Kat, it was Jon and the interns!" She nearly yelled it as soon as she saw the polished black "X" looming in center of the otherwise empty room. He continued forward stopping only to retrieve the riding crop from the wall to the left of the door. It was the only wall not paneled in mirrors. "What about them?" He grabbed her left arm and lifted her to her feet. "Please no! I'm sorry!" She cried as he pulled her up onto the platform. Aidan pursed his lips, shaking his head. "Eighteen. What about them?" "I…" She had to fight back her tears as he pressed her forward against the cool glossy material of the St. Andrew's cross. "Nineteen." His calm was in perfect opposition to her frantic cries. "…wanted you to give me back to them, Sir." She watched in shock as he pressed her left hand to the grip above her head without cuffing it there. "Wanted or want?" He asked quietly as he repeated the action with her right hand. "Want." She answered through her tears as he moved behind her. "You should not be ashamed." He whispered in her ear as he forced his leg between hers and spread her feet to the width of the base of the cross. The position required her to hold tightly to the grips above her to keep from falling. His slid hands up her belly and covered her breasts while he continued to whisper against her ear. "Hard and eager to be embraced by the lips of those you were born to please." He said tenderly as he let her nipples slip between his fingers. "Even now your heart beats more with anticipation than fear." She could not deny it as he moved his hands back down her body, listening to the pace of her breath intensify the moment he slid his finger along the trembling lips between her thighs. He felt his own control slipping when she pressed her ass back against him in response to the two fingers he thrust into her. "Wet, soft as silk and longing to be filled." His breath came faster as he continued whispering in her ear. "Please, Sir." She pleaded with him, but he withdrew his fingers. "Nothing to be ashamed of." He said, kissing the back of her neck. "But you can not lie." His tone was stern as he stepped to her right. "If you force me to cuff you it will be three times worse." She tightened her hands on the grips above her head, however she was still consumed with his touch and barely expecting the first strike. She screamed and almost lost her grip when the length of the crop left its first mark across the tender flesh of her ass. Tears filled her eyes immediately and she barely steadied herself before the second landed. By the fifth mark that crossed her pale bottom she could no longer control her sobs and she cried freely. She closed her eyes against the vision reflected before her that showed every angry stripe the kiss of the leather left behind. She somehow managed to maintain her fragile hold until she counted 19 in her head, and then collapsed into his arms the moment he told her to let go. She wept against his chest as he stroked her hair. After a moment he lifted her chin so she could see him. "I trust you will not lie to me again." He watched her lower her eyes, wet with the tears she still cried, but, obediently, she said nothing. It was as close to 'no' as she would ever be allowed to get. She buried her head against his chest as soon as he let her chin go. Her breath still came in sharp gasps with the tears she could not control. She should be in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />America at work doing whatever it was she used to do. It was Thursday so tonight would have been drinks with the girls, or maybe just a movie at home, or whatever the hell she wanted to do. Instead she was naked in the arms of a man she'd known for four days. Every movement reignited the streaks of fire he had just left on her, reminding her that she belonged to him now no matter how much she wanted to disbelieve it. She felt him lift her and she wrapped her arms around his neck for security. She did not wonder where he was taking her, it didn't matter anyway. She stood unfettered while he whipped her, laid down without fighting so Kat could molest her while he watched, and cried out shamelessly while his Interns had their way with her for his pleasure, why should she care what she would do for him now. "Ow!!" She jerked and tried lift away from the warmth of the water below her. He held her tight however and she was forced to endure. The heat made her acutely aware of every mark the crop had left and renewed the tears she had almost banished. Pain streaked out from her backside to her fingertips and she could barely sense the cloth that moved across her skin as he bathed her. "It will hurt less tomorrow, but you will sleep easily tonight." Aidan whispered to her while he washed her hair. It seemed impossible to her as she closed her eyes against the colors swirling in her vision from the heat that fed the pitiless lines crisscrossing her backside. The relief was immediate when the cool air replaced the cruel bath he lifted her from. Tension dissipated and she was barely aware of the towel he used to dry her while she reveled in her tiny piece of heaven. He laid her in a bed instead of the carpet in the den, and at once she felt herself surrendering to sweet sleep. This was what he meant. "Thank you." She said it so quietly he barely heard it. He smiled, kissed her cheek and left her to her slumber, though it was hard. She was going to need it.
This one turned out pretty good. I'm trying to figure out how to top it, but then there still so much more to do to the poor girl..hehe Now it is bed time. Mmmm, sleep. For anyone reading this, its not vanilla and it will get worse. Don't bitch at me about putting it up here...you don't have to read it!! One Year: Third Day ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> By the time the door opened, Jess was far more concerned with the ache in her belly than in trying to escape. For many this would not have been the case, but she was different. She had never done without. Her spoon was never silver but it was always there. Now she was cold, naked, tired, hungry, and at the mercy of this cold Irish stranger whose intentions were still very unclear to her. There was a hopeful look in her pretty brown eyes when she saw him but it disappeared when she saw the only thing in his hand was a leash. She sat against the back wall with her legs curled beside her, and hugged her sore arms tightly to her more to keep warm than to cover herself. She felt broken and alone, and she just wanted to be warm and full at this moment. There was always time for escape later. Aidan knelt down in front of her and lifter her chin without ever actually looking at her. He snapped the silver clasp of the leash to the ring at her throat, and she felt her heart sink. It was so very different when it was just a game, when it was just for sex. Now it felt so – final. But some part of her wanted it. The second the pin of the clasp fell in place she felt that same slick warmth between her legs that Aidan had been so pleased to discover yesterday. This was the reason she started this little journey, but now it just felt shameful and she kept her eyes away from him when he drew her chin back down. "Much better." Aidan said with a smile. "Now doesn't all that trouble you gave me seem silly?" His tone was patronizing but it did not bring the rise out of her it normally would have. She said nothing. "Good." He patted her on the top of the head as he stood up and she had to fight back tears. "Rules." He said as he went to close the door to the little bathroom that attached to the office. "Remember them. I will never say them again." She stared at the leash that trailed down between her breasts and lay coiled on the floor beside her thigh. She did not notice him move back across the floor towards the chair. "You will do nothing without my permission. You even breathe because I allow it and I can and will cease it should I wish to." His tone was merely instructional and completely devoid of emotion. Her listless demeanor vanished as her eyes snapped up in alarm. She wanted to speak but the words died in her throat when she saw the look in his eyes. He straddled the chair with his chin resting on his arms folded over the back of it. He was smiling only faintly and his green eyes seemed to glitter as he watched her. She felt more trapped at that moment than when Eric held her for his examination. "No, can't, won't, and like words no longer exist to you. If you can not answer me in the affirmative you will not answer me at all, even if it means disobeying me." He stood and walked towards her again. She tried to sink into the wall behind her. She was truly terrified this time. Did he mean he would kill her? "Do you understand?" She was shaking her head no, but it was in disbelief not objection. She tried to swallow the tears not able to believe that even three days later he was still reminding her just how very stupid she had been. Three days later and he found another piece of her to strip away. She still could not speak. "Shhh…" He said softly as he kneeled before her again, taking her hands into his. "I know it sounds overwhelming but it will come more easily every day." "I don't want to die." She could barely speak above a whisper. "That's not what I meant." He said, smiling gently as he tied her wrists together with the end of the least. What had he meant? Her mind was racing just to keep up with her heart as she felt his fingers on her chin again. The touch was tender, even kind, a lovers touch. He tucked a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear with his free hand as he moved closer to her, his lips parted slightly. She was confused, but overcome with the anticipation so common before a first kiss; the passion and disbelief that it was finally happening. She closed her eyes as his lips brushed hers, parting her own as his kiss became more firm. She sighed softly when she felt his tongue trail across her lips and then cross over them teasingly. Her thighs tensed with that familiar ache, and the fact that she was tied weighed on her when she could not wrap her arms around his neck and pull her body closer. His kiss became harder, uncomfortable and she tried to pull away. He grabbed her nose and pinched it shut. His left hand slid over her mouth as he broke the kiss and he watched her eyes go wide as she tried desperately to breath. She panicked immediately, but with her hands tied and her head held firmly she could not break away. "Stop fighting or you'll have a headache from hell when next you breathe!" She stopped, barely. She could feel her lungs burning, dying to work. She concentrated on not trying to breathe, and her body shook in the effort to stave off the panic. He leaned forward again, sealing his mouth to hers as he removed his hand so that the first breath she took was the one he gave her. Then he released her. "That's what I meant." He untied her hands and stood up. She was trembling and trying to catch her breath, trying to convince herself it was her breath. What the hell was wrong with her? She was terrified of him but she still gave in like a virgin the moment his lips touched hers. "Come on, time to take you home. I need to feed you and bathe you." He patted her on the head and started towards the door with the leash in his hand. She looked at the door without moving. It did not matter what he might have thought he controlled, there was no way in hell she was going out there like this. That wasn't a play party out there, it was just normal people who would be looking at her in this state and the thought was absolutely mortifying. He smiled when she didn't move. He was having entirely too much fun with this. The last time one of his pets refused an order it was only to liven things up. They already knew their place, knew they were there for his amusement and nothing more. This one hadn't gotten that idea yet, but she yearned to. She just couldn't let go of her inhibition and pride. So he would take them from her, slowly. He was going to enjoy this more than he remembered. He dropped the leash and opened the door just in time to see one of his interns go past. The heel of his shoe reappeared a moment later as he backed up to take a second look at the scene beyond the door. Perfect! Aidan thought. "Jon! Come see." Aidan said invitingly. The young man was dressed sharply in a dark gray Armani suit with short-cropped brown hair. He was noticeably thin with a briefcase in one hand and papers in the other, and he could not have been a day over 18. She felt the heat in her cheeks as they flushed a dark crimson, and she tried desperately to cover herself. "Ah! The new acquisition!" He was much more eager than Aidan ever sounded. "When is she going to come entertain the boys?" Holy shit! She'd slipped into the fucking twighlight zone. The kid was acting like a scared naked woman was an everyday thing around her. But that was exactly the case. This part of the complex belonged to the bank president and he was free to do whatever he wished. The employees here were not only used to Aidan's particular tastes, they had their own. "Not for a while, she's new." Aidan picked up the leash and tugged at it again, but she still did not come. "I was going to bring her out to meet a few of you before we headed to the house but she's not being cooperative." "I see that." Jon stared at her, licking his lips. Aidan cleared his throat so the kid would look back at him. "So why don't you go grab the rest of the interns and come back here to take a look before we head out." "No!" She said before she could stop herself. Jon darted off as Aidan turned back towards her. "You've only been a slave for 3 days and you've already discovered you like punishment more than most." He watched her put her face in her hands. The interns will be glad you decided to stay and meet them all instead of hurrying home." She was regretting her decision not to follow him out earlier. Jon returned shortly with 4 others roughly the same age, all laughing and high-fiving one another. Aidan dropped the leash and went to door where he propped himself against the seal without shutting it. "Just check her out a little." Aidan said as he watched them advance on her. She flinched but she did not pull away as the four newcomers each took a limb. They brought her away from the wall and lay her on the ground spread-eagle. She felt their hands sliding first across the limb the held. The two at her legs moved to the insides of her thighs then to the inside of her hips and across her stomach. Her breath quickened and her fingers balled into fists intermittently as the humiliation she initially felt became part of a growing hunger. The two at her arms slid their hands past her shoulders and she tensed as she felt their fingers move across the rise of her breasts. When they began toying with her nipples, the ache between her legs became close to unbearable and she moved her hips invitingly as her desire overcame any inhibition she had at that moment. Aidan had to shift a little as he observed her. He prided himself on his self-control, but watching her lose hers so completely was tipping the scales against him. She threw her head back and thrust her hips forward when she felt Jon's tongue touch her sex, tracing the line between the lips twice before sinking his tongue inside her. Aidan watched her arch her back as the two at her shoulders each took a nipple between his teeth, and she cried out not caring who might hear. Jon found her weakness, the tip of his tongue moving quickly against the underside of her clit. Her body trembled and every muscle tensed almost painfully as she neared the very edge of release. Aidan contemplated letting them have her, but as much as he would have enjoyed watching it he opted to torment her with her newfound lust. "That's enough for now guys." She whimpered as Jon sat up and ran his hand across his mouth smiling at her. The others released her as well and it took everything in her not to beg them to continue. She had been so close and the frustration nearly brought her to tears. The ache was agonizing. Aidan walked over and picked up the leash as the interns left. She got to all fours unsteadily, her body still lamenting the loss of touch. When he tugged this time, she walked forward. She'd already drawn an audience; there was no point in trying to hang onto her dignity now. He led her down the hall, out the door past the receptionist though she barely noticed, and put her in the back seat of his car. The leather was hot and stung her bare skin, but it only served to reawaken her torment. "Since you are new to this I will warn you; if you do anything to relieve your anguish the punishment is truly severe." He shut the door and drove them somewhere she did not see. She remained curled in the seat and obeyed the leash when they reached their destination. She was in awe of the beautiful gray stones and statues of the little manor house as he led her up the short grassy path to the front door. A shorter woman with long brown hair and kind eyes greeted them in a cockney accent as soon as he opened the door. "'ello Aidan." She said smiling. "Finally decided to bring her home, eh?" Aidan nodded to her. "Feed her, bathe her, and put her down in the den. I have to go back to the office for some meetings." He put the leash in her hand. "And don't let her rest." The woman led Jess up the stairs. She was close to Jess's age, dressed in a very drab maids outfit. Her hair was pulled back in a simple tie and Jessamine was suddenly reminded of her own. "I'm Kat, the Housekeeper. You can talk to me if you like when he's not around." The maid said after a moment. Jess would have hugged her had it not been for her own nakedness. She was trying to formulate a question when Kat continued. "Interesting choice for your first, dear. An' already in trouble too." "It's not my choice. I changed my mind." Jess rattled off suddenly. "Contract's a contract. You are here for a year whether you made a mistake or not." "Please I –" She was cut off. "I'll talk with you and explain things but don't go about beggin me to get you out of the bed you made for yourself." Jess dropped her head back down. After a moment she spoke again. "What did you mean, 'already in trouble'?" Kat smirked. "You'll see, dear." They arrived at a beautiful bathroom primarily of red and blond marble with a large whirlpool tub in the center. The water was already drawn and Kat helped her into it. It was heaven on her aching tired muscles. The housekeeper picked up a washcloth and wet it. Starting at her neck, Kat rubbed the soft cloth across her skin working down her front. When she came to Jess's breasts she washed each thoroughly even rolling her nipples between her fingers. Jess flushed nervously at her touch, clamping her legs together as it rekindled her earlier frustration. Kat pushed her legs apart again. "Now, now, don't need you getting to comfortable, dear." "What?" Jess asked softly. "If you cum the master of the house will be very cross. This is what he meant by 'don't let her rest'." Kat's fingers drifted across her body as she continued to wash her. "Please don't. This is unbearable." Jess whimpered "Ah, but you'll learn to bear it. Release is not something Aidan readily gives out since he is the only one allowed to give it." "How do I…" Jess was cut short when Kats fingers slipped inside her for just a moment. A woman had never touched her and the taboo combined with her gentle fingers was maddening. "By being very good." Kat slipped her middle finger deeply into her sex, slowly moving it in and out. "Good enough that he would want to do more than watch." "Watch?" She said breathlessly, her hips rising to meet Kat's tender thrusts. Kat smiled and removed her hands causing Jess to whimper again. She kissed her forehead and moved to help her out of the water. "Yes, he prefers to watch his pets. He rarely touches them." Kat sat her down in a chair and toweled her hair. She moved in front of Jess and lowered herself until Jess was looking down on her head. She leaned forward and Jess caught her breath as Kat's tongue grazed her nipple. She sucked the water off of one than the other than stood up, grabbed the leash, and led Jess back down stairs. "And if I end this myself?" Jess asked when they reached the bottom floor, barely able to refrain from touch herself. "You would regret it most definitely." Kat answered as she removed a bowl full of fruit from the stainless steel refrigerator in the kitchen Jess would have killed to have. She set it on the floor. "Eat." "From the floor?" Jess asked. "You thought you'd eat from the table?" "I thought…" Jess looked at the bowl reluctantly. "I would not be helping you if I let you get comfortable in any other capacity besides the one you are." Kat crossed her arms and nodded towards the bowl. "Eat." She kneeled down and with the first bite forgot about her reluctance and devoured the bowl. Kat led her to the den then and pointed to a rug in the center. "Lay down there." It was as soft as any bed, thankfully, and Jess nearly fell asleep the moment she curled up on it. Before she could drift off, Kat grabbed her hands and cuffed them behind her back. "So you won't be tempted." She said as she ran her fingers along the inside of her thigh. Jess spread her legs for her, silently pleading with her to end her torment, but Kat only kissed her on the mouth and stood up. "You'll live little one. Sleep now. You'll need it."

One year: Day Two *Adult*

Yay! I have a series. For anyone who gets uncomfortable easily...don't read. For anyone who is wondering...this is all totally from my head. Yes, I am that freaky without help from reality. For everyone else...enjoy!! *Note: Aidan and Eric are both Irish with Irish accents which I do not know how to write...yet. Just something else to picture. The Next Morning Jessamine sat up when the door opened, stiff from sleeping on an unyielding floor for the few hours she had slept. It was obvious to her that she was wrong about this ridiculous idea, and she needed to face the music and go home before something really bad happened. Her hair would grow back, but some things were gone forever once you lost them. "I've changed my mind." She said as soon as she confirmed it was Aidan walking through the door. It was exactly the reaction he expected when he opened the door this morning. This was one of the main reasons he never took these little doe-eyed new comers. They always had this fantasy about what would happen and it never matched. Most often the results were disastrous, but she wrote something that made him curious: "I need to be broken." He believed her and he intended to do it. Aidan walked to the desk offering her nothing more than a glance. "Did you here me? I changed my mind. Whatever money you are out or whatever I'll pay it back. I'm sure they'll give me my job back. I'll just claim temporary insanity or something." She trailed off, talking to herself more than him on the last sentence. It appeared he still was not hearing her, and she was about to say it with a little more volume when he hit the speaker button on the phone. "Marci, send my lawyer in here will you." She assumed he must have been talking to his receptionist. Even though he still did not look at her, she figured he needed the lawyer to annul the contract. "Thank you!" She said with obvious relief. "I'm sorry about everything I just thought this was going to be something…" She stopped talking abruptly. He was still acting like she wasn't even there. She watched him apprehensively. He really didn't give a shit what she was saying. She could have been screaming at him and still not gotten any more than she had. The only thing that stood out to him at that moment was the fact that she still had not gotten off her knees. He turned to greet his colleague when he heard the handle of the door turn. "Eric. Thanks for making it quick." "I was wondering when you'd call." He smiled only slightly at Aidan before turning towards Jessamine. "Still on her knees. Guess I was wrong about her." She flushed visibly and hurried to get to her feet. "Just show me where to sign, and I will take my leave." She said through gritted teeth. Eric looked back at Aidan with a confused look on his face. Aidan just shrugged. "Yeah, could you give me a hand with this right quick?" Aidan continued as if she'd said nothing and waited until Eric started herding her towards the corner before he went to retrieve the scissors still lying on the floor. She watched the slightly larger red headed man move towards her slowly. He was speaking in quiet comforting tones like one might when approaching a wild horse. It was ridiculous! "You guys are nuts! I'm out of here." She headed for the door, but didn't quite make it. Eric grabbed her and hooked his arm through her elbows before she got off four steps. She struggled violently but he had her arms pinned against his chest making her upper half completely ineffective. Unfortunately she had panicked or she would have thought to kick him in the shins before he forced her to her knees. "Shhh," Eric whispered against her ear. "He's not going to hurt you little one." He was trying to calm her, but she was proving a handful, and she nearly broke loose when her wide eyes caught sight of Aidan and his damn golden scissors. "Whoa girl! Relax." But it didn't do any good. He had to turn his head away when she went to screaming. It didn't faze her handler a bit. The room was sound proofed anyway, and it wasn't the first time he'd removed the clothes from a screaming struggling little girl who hadn't figured out her place yet. At least she wasn't- Jessamine spit on him when she realized they didn't care if she was screaming. Aidan wasn't one to raise his hand against a pet, but he was sorely tempted. "Bloody hell, Aidan, why haven't muzzled her yet?" Eric was laughing at him while he sought a better grip to hold her steady. In answer he took his tie off and stepped to her side. "Hold her damn it!" Aidan fitted the tie deftly between her teeth and knotted it tightly behind her head. He then kneeled in front of her and pushed her jacket back to reveal the slender straps of her camisole which he cut. When she felt his fingers slide beneath the waist band of her slacks she froze. "Good girl." Eric whispered softly against her ear. "That's it, no ones going to hurt you." He was relieved he was getting a little break, though he didn't release her enough that she could tell. Aidan refrained from exploring further. He undid the button and the fabric pooled at her bent knees. He pulled the camisole down over her hips catching the elastic of her panties along the way and leaving her completely exposed. Her eyes were wet with tears as she tried in vain to back away from Aidan. It was a place she had never been before. Not truly. She had nothing, though she would find in the coming weeks there was still more to strip away. Her pride, at least part of it, lay in a soft line on the floor, she could not speak, and her dignity fell around her knees as the man behind her held her firmly. With her elbows pulled behind her, her back arched painfully forcing her to spread her legs slightly to maintain any balance. She was open, unprotected and completely subject to the whims of the men before and behind her. Aidan looked her over slowly, making sure she saw every action. He saw it in her eyes, the slow realization that he had complete control over her. It took her long enough. Most of them figured it out by the time their knees hit the ground beneath their captors. She was pretty, though a little too pale and not as toned as he liked. These things were easily remedied. Her breasts were just handfuls but they were well shaped with beautiful rose color nipples that had hardened without prompting. He put his hands on her shoulders and then slid them under her arms, examining the tone and feel of her skin. He had a tendency to treat his pets like horses though he never outfitted them as such. She started struggling again as his hands moved under her breasts, and he noticed Eric wince trying to hold her. He had both arms over her elbows which he hadn't observed until now. Aidan ran his thumbs across the upper rise of soft flesh then continued on to her stomach. He heard her breath sharpen when he came close to the nipples which made him smile. At least her body was disappointed he had opted to move on. Aidan withdrew his right hand and flattened his left across her stomach and pressed lightly. He turned his fingers down so she was looking at the back of his palm and she felt Eric's arms tighten further as Aidan's fingers slipped further down over freshly waxed skin. She tossed her head and made garbled half sounds but there was nothing else she could do through the little strip of fabric that pulled the corners of her mouth so far back she couldn't close her lips. He took her jaw in his right hand and held her head steady, observing her every action as his fingers slid between her thighs. A moment later he drew his hand back without ever actually touching more than the inside of her thighs. She let go the breath she was holding, but her relief was short lived. The sense of degradation that befell her was beyond anything she could have imagined when he brushed the tips of his fingers across her upper lip, slick with her own fluids. "She puts on a good show." Aidan said as he circled his thumb over the tips of his fingers. "That good?" Eric asked. "Dripping." Aidan answered. "Have her kiss the floor. We need to finish this up and get to lunch." He stood and grabbed the collar and leash from the desk as Eric tilted her forward until her head touched the floor. He changed his grip to hold just her elbows and give Aidan more room to work. She felt soft leather against her throat as he positioned the collar around her neck. She heard a click before her moved down and removed the rest of her clothing. Eric placed his hand on the back of her neck and pulled the jacket off of her arms, but she wasn't fighting anymore. When she was released, she sat up slowly and pulled her legs to her chest. The lawyer removed the gag and she put her head down, wiping her lip off on the bare skin of her knee. "So you'll be keepin 'er?" She heard the red headed man ask. "Aye." Aidan nodded. "I'll take her back to the house and feed her tomorrow. I think a day without food will make her a little more compliant." They left and she was alone again and it couldn't have been past noon. She was cold, naked and completely humiliated, but otherwise unscathed. Timidly she touched the back of her neck and felt the shape of a tiny padlock there which explained the click. She contemplated his plans to keep her against her will. First he had to get her to his house though, and she was at a loss as to how he planned to do that without getting noticed. She was sure she could get away tomorrow. She tried to make herself feel better, telling herself that he had a little fun and she learned her lesson. It could have been worse. She had no idea it had just barely started.

I Want To Give Again

I Want To Give In Again It's not the first life that I've wasted Given over to the blood I've tasted It's not the first time I've been broken Payment for the lives I've stolen Now I stand another chance Another turn at this godless dance Turn my back on timeless sin But I want to give in again With every memory my body quakes The things I gave to clear the slate It left me with this broken spirit But did not remove what came before it I still feel this aching need To fill this emptiness in me To know the taste of victory And see the fallen at my feet There is nothing quite like the seduction Of the power wrought from sweet destruction Of life lived for dominion and pleasure For such a height there is no measure There is no touch to quench this desire No lover that burns quite like this fire It seems so pointless if it is not taken Saved only for the soul forsaken The soul that battles with this strife Was a god in some other life And the heart that set its passions free Was finally stripped away from me Bowed to the whims of mortal men Lived a life that felt their sins A broken child of their power To clear the past and know this hour Now quietly I step into the stream I try to join this human dream Give up my perch from high above Learn why it is I can not love So this is what it's like without To find in yourself a sense of doubt Yet I still can not forget Not even the cruelest could force regret I must somehow learn to start For the soul is in hell without the heart So how does one that knows the taste of sin Stop wanting to give in again

One Year: Day One

It was rash, impulsive, reckless, thoughtless, or perhaps the best word was just plain stupid. Whatever her friends might have thought the most glaring piece of this whole situation was that it was the most unexpected thing she could have done. Of course she was far from predictable, but who does something like this? Whatever it was that possessed her, those that knew her were not given the chance to figure it out. She quit her job, turned the keys of her apartment over, put her things in storage, and hopped on a plain to Ireland with nothing more than the simple pantsuit she had on and the only book she had ever read twice. She left only a form letter to anyone that needed to know that she would return in a year. Her surroundings were that of any anteroom in any office building. She sat in one of 4 simple chairs a short distance from a magazine rack and a little green plant, and the prevailing colors were brown and white. The receptionist sat to her right and the entrance, an impressive pair of dark wooden doors a full seven feet tall, lay before her. The carving drew her attention just as it had all those that sat in that chair before her. Beautiful and meticulous, the carvings depicted a group of Celtic soldiers carrying on around an open fire. The doors fit together so perfectly you would not have known they were more than a picture but for the brass handles that sat a few inches apart in the very center. It had been close to an hour, but she waited patiently still. It was time to work on these things if she was to make it through the coming year. The soft click of the phone on its receiver caused her to shift her focus to the right. "Mr. Mac Cumhaill is ready to see you." The receptionist said quietly as she motioned towards the doors. She took a deep breath and stood up slowly. It was taking every ounce of will power she had to walk into the next room. Something she may have found ironic had she been observing the situation instead of participating. One more deep breath and she still could not move. "Please Miss Doucet, he does not wish to wait." The woman to the right said with a touch of urgency, though still very quietly. It was a little late to balk now. She had no job, no home, and almost nothing to go back to at the moment. Suddenly the humiliation of facing friends or family and having to explain her actions was more terrifying than kneeling before this complete stranger. She nodded toward the receptionist, picked up her book, and walked through the doors that opened as she approached them. "He is at the end of the hall." She heard the receptionist say as she passed her. The doors were closing behind her and the hall seemed longer than she could walk. Possibly this was the stupidest thing she had ever done. Even six months worth of investigation into the man that waited at the end of the hall, the agency that placed her with him, and the contract she was required to sign was not enough to prove that she wasn't walking into some horrific nightmare that would begin and end with things she could only imagine. She still remembered bits of the words that lined the paper before the single cold line where she was to place her name. It was a carefully worded employment contract that only a very smart a very unaffordable lawyer could have wriggled out of, given time. Somehow she had managed to legally waive every right she had and hand her life and body over to a man she had never met. And, she had done it all willingly. It was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying. No, no one she knew would ever understand this, but she did and that was all that counted. At least she thought she understood. She stood at the door then, unsure whether to knock or simply enter. After a few moments she knocked, deciding it was something a proper slave would do. The knock at the door took long enough. Aidan hated waiting, but it was expected considering the one he picked this time. It was her hair. She wore no makeup and her clothes were passable but she spent little time in her appearance. Her hair was completely different however. It fell well past the small of her back in one even line, and it was apparent that a great deal of care was devoted towards it. It was the color of onyx and flawless no matter where the light hit it. It must have been a source of pride for her, and a source of envy among those who knew her. He would have paid to run his fingers through it. How lucky for him she had requested to give it to him. Jessamine Doucet was a pretty little girl from some ridiculous state across the pond. He never had much love for Americans, and if it hadn't have been for her hair he would not have taken a second look. He usually looked for someone close that had some sort of experience playing the game. These women were less likely to raise a stink should things not go the way they wanted. And it always went somewhere they didn't want to go. That was the point after all. Aidan preferred brunettes or blonds that were no taller than 5'6" with a more ample bosom. He also liked them to be no older than 23 so why the agency felt the need to send him this mess was beyond him. He was, for the most part, more interested in the sex than the actual domination now. Perhaps his contact thought he needed to change things up a bit. Whoever it was had not been wrong in the past, and it had been some time since he'd actually practiced the things he'd learned some years ago. Jessamine was 27, 5'9 and completely average beyond that hair. Her only experience with BDSM was when a boyfriend of hers tied her up. She, apparently, had almost become someone's "pet" in college but it had fallen through for some reason. Now she worked as a rep for some company doing something so boring he couldn't even remember what it was. She wrote though. He was absolutely enthralled with her poetry. It was curious how one capable of so much passion could be so lifeless. It was just one more thing to peak his interest. Actually the more he discovered about her, the more he needed to know. No matter how deeply he delved, however, he couldn't get much beyond the fact that she was an 'acceptable risk'. In this kind of relationship one could never be too careful. He, on the other hand, had given her as little information as possible. Mystery always worked in the favor of the one crafting such a scene. The agency of course had to vouch for him. She didn't need to fly off into the jaws of a shark that didn't at least have some semblance of humanity. The second timid tap meant it was time for the little fish to meet her shark. She heard him say come in. It was the first time she'd ever heard his voice and it wasn't quite as deep as she'd imagined. She pushed open the little wooden door and immediately noticed the office was small and sparsely furnished. It was unheard of for the president of a bank to have something so dull in America, and she quietly hoped that the customs were just that different here. He sat at the desk intent on the file in front of him, and did not bother to look up when she entered. He was just as the picture he sent portrayed; a slender man with dark brown hair that was just turning silver on either side of his head. His face was hard and angular but not unattractive, and with few lines. He either had Botox or did not show emotion often. Something about him pointed to the latter being true. She stood just inside the entrance, and it seems pointless to mention how loud and fast her heart was beating. Anyone standing in her place would most likely be just as unhinged. Her mind, however, was perfect chaos. A mess of what she could or couldn't, or wouldn't or wanted to do hit her at the exact same time as she waited for him to look up at her. Some part of her was sure the very first thing he would tell her was to remove her clothing, but there in lies the problem of walking from fantasy to reality. One is most often wrong. "Please sit." He motioned towards the single chair in the center of the unoccupied portion of the room without looking up. She walked very timidly towards the chair, looked at it as if it might attack her, and then sat down slowly. Her backside had not yet touched the seat when she heard him cluck his tongue and saw him shaking his head. "Now why would I want you to sit in the chair?" He asked with a patronizing Irish accent, still without looking up. She stood back up, moved to the side of the chair, and lowered herself to her knees. It was painful, but she was supposed to be a slave. She never once thought that everything she was going to do would be comfortable. "To the front." This last instruction was clipped with a hint of irritation. She started to stand which provoked a look of disapproval. The first look she'd received. He stared at her with unnaturally green eyes until she dropped back down to her knees, then he returned to his document_ She moved on all fours to the front of the chair, and then kneeled back down. Her back was against the seat of the chair, and she sat to the side of her knees since she was unsure how long she would be there and her knees were already hurting. "On your knees!" he pushed the document aside, the hint of irritation in his voice now full blown annoyance. "And exactly how am I supposed to sit in that chair?" His face was still a placid mask. "Well, if you would tell me what to do…" she started in an exasperated tone as she began moving forward He stood up and walked over to her before she even had time to register that he had moved. He grabbed a hand handful of silken locks and hauled her forward the proper distance from the chair. She yelped when she felt the sting as hair suddenly supported some of the weight of her body. A moment later he used the leverage he had to force her head to the ground as he dropped down to one knee. "I'll tell you if I wish to, otherwise you should simply know." He said in a cool and even tone. "If you do not then you will be shone in a manner that you will not easily forget." He pulled her back to a kneeling position as he stood, barely able to cover a smile. It had been some time since he'd been required to reprimand a newcomer on the first day. He returned to his desk, opened the center drawer, and placed the contract inside. She watched him set an ornate brown leather collar with a single ring and matching leash, a silver brush, and a set of gold toned scissors on the desk. She was on edge watching every action in an effort to discern what he might want and avoid any further rough treatment. Again, a downfall to doing something so fully that one only fantasized about. He picked up the brush and the scissors and sat down in the chair behind her. He could tell how tense she was even through the jacket she wore. He set the scissors down beside him and felt her jump when he grabbed a handful of tangled hair and began gently pulling the brush through it. "Answer my questions for now, but generally you shouldn't speak unless you are instructed to." He said softly as he worked the brush through her hair. He was actually a little upset at what he was about to do. "Yes…master?" she said timidly He couldn't help but laugh. The word was so archaic. "Sir will do." He was already halfway through the tangles. "How long did it take you?" He asked. "Ten years, Sir." She answered quietly, hoping he meant her hair. "It's quite beautiful. Those who know you must envy you." "I…suppose." Actually they hated her for it, but she didn't want to seem too proud. "Actually it's what drew me to you out of everyone else. Why put so much effort into it?" He finished brushing the strands, which now hung straight and perfect down across her feet. "I…I just always wanted it." She was beaming now. She loved praise and the fact that something about her had singled her out was enough to make her want to dance. She heard him set the brush down and pick up the scissors. "Don't stutter when you answer me. You won't get many chances to speak and you should make them count." Every sentence was an instruction without emotion. She felt him gather her hair into his left hand just below her shoulders and pull it tight. Suddenly it occurred to her what he meant to do and nervousness turned to panic. "What are you doing?" she asked as she tried to pull away from him. "That's odd I don't remember asking you a question." He said as he grasped her hair more tightly. She heard metal grind against metal as he opened the scissors. "Please!" She tried to twist around with tears in her eyes. "Please! I'll do anything! Please don't cut it!" She was begging him, loudly. If he thought he could hold her steady he would have let her beg a few moments longer, but this called for swift action. He pulled the hair tight again and quickly closed the blades across the taut strands. She stared in disbelief when he dropped the 3 feet of ebon locks in front of her, the only thing she had ever really prided herself on. She did not even move when he knelt down to whisper in her ear. "A slave does not feel pride in anything they have because they do not have anything." He stood up with the last word and walked towards the door. "Perhaps solitude will help it set in further." He slipped out the door, locking it behind him.

Work in Progress

I'm posting this here, but I know it still needs a lot of work. I'm missing back story and the end of the scene/chapter may appear forced because I had writers block and thought if I just finished it I might have more luck fixing it than creating it. I'm bad with ending things. I also need to do some research on Werewolf myth and Celtic/Roman history. I think its a good start though. Feel free to comment. Just keep in mind, I'm aware there is probably grammar anomalies of varying degree, possible serious anachronisms and there might even be a general story fuck up or two. I'm working on it. The Wolf "She's one of them." Bedwyr laid the scroll on the table and pointed to the still drying ink. It was one tiny branch of a very detailed family tree. The scroll work was beautiful, but then he'd had a long time to practice. Corann looked at him with a doubtful expression. "You're sure?" "Yes. It seems her 'father' really wasn't." "How in the name of the Goddess did you figure that out?" A hundred years together and he still managed to surprise him. Bedwyr sat back in the chair behind him with a smug expression on his face. "It seems Reannon's mother couldn't get an heir out of the old man so she went somewhere for a little advice." "Ronat?" Corann said in utter disbelief. Bedwyr laughed a little at Coran's expression, but nodded to reiterate that this was indeed the case. "How fortuitous." Corann said flatly. "C'mon Corann. So she had something to do with it. We are really in no position curse any luck we may find." "The old woman meddles too much." There was a distinct growl in Corann's voice. "Regardless, who is the father?" "Actually she would not give me that name. But she does like to keep her secrets." Corann simply glared. "Now how to get to her?" Bedwyr went on. "Good question. Even I can't get past their assassins." "And this is why I'm still your top advisor. We simply make her sign a contract." "Contract?" Corann raised an eyebrow. "I'm intrigued." He leaned forward on his elbows as Bedwyr laid out his plan. ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> "You swear on pain of death this will go no further than here." Reannon waited for the scouts reply before continuing. She briefly contemplated killing him anyway in an effort to avoid a panic, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Besides, the warlord at her doorstep may yet do it anyway. "Take this letter to him and let him know that we are eager to negotiate." The scout nodded and darted off. She resisted the urge to stand up and pace. The circumstances were less than favorable. The Wolf, as he had been dubbed, was not known for his negotiation skills but she had little choice. The Emperor commandeered her armies for the effort against the invaders from the sea. Though he had left her with members of 'Death's Hand' for personal protection, they could do little to prevent the destruction of her home. She prayed to the Goddess that his heart would be set upon something she could give. She would do anything to save the people she protected. Three days later she had her answer. "Lady Reannon." Corann bowed and kissed her hand. He couldn't have been more relieved. The fact that she barely spoke his own language was the only thing that separated her from her heritage. Her tresses looked like spun copper when the sun hit it just right, and her green eyes watched him almost without blinking. Her skin was pale and she must have been no older than 19. She was perfect. All he had to do was gag her and he wouldn't need to be reminded at all of the Latin speaking scum he hated so much. He couldn't help but smile at the image as he took a respectful step back from her. "And you must be Lord, Corann is it?" She made it a point to discover his name. 'The Wolf' was a little intimidating. It did little to help though. He was unusually tall which made it difficult to look him in the eye. His black hair was long, but not unkempt as she expected. He smelled of leather and dirt, but he was not unclean. He had the body of a soldier and probably all the strength that came with it. His gray eyes were odd, almost wolf-like, which helped to explain the title and the rumors. "Welcome to my home." She gestured for him to take a seat. Only one man came with him, but having the assassin at her side kill them both would have been fruitless. Her guest was the only one keeping the brutes in the valley from overrunning her little stronghold. "Can I have the servants bring you anything?" The man beside him smirked. "No." Corann glared at Bedwyr. "I wish to be brief. You called me here, what is your offer?" There was a hint of disgust in his voice, the by-product of having to speak in a language he hated so much. She nodded and had the man beside her bring the chest and marks for the granary. "In the chest is payment for safe passage and marks to take to our granary to re-supply your men. Harvest was good for us this year." She waited for a reply and became a little nervous when he didn't even acknowledge the offer. "We are also renowned for our mead and you are free to take the entire store." She waited a few moments more with still no response. "Lord Corann?" She asked somewhat cautiously. "Is this all?" He asked. "Of course not, you need only to ask for what ever you wish and we will do our best to accommodate. We are eager to save you whatever trouble we can." He smiled a little. "Actually, m'lady, my men are somewhat distraught that I am even considering your offers. I do have a request in mind though." "Ask." Her heart pounded so hard she was afraid he would see it. "Two bottles of mead, and the pleasure of your company for a night." She took a deep breath while contemplating her answer. It was an odd request. It was not that she found it unusual, but generally such things were used as a tool, not as the actual bargain. "Tonight?" She barely even hesitated, but Bedwyr did say she had talents she was not against using. He pulled out the small scroll he brought with him. "I'm going to assume the man standing beside you is one of your little house pets." The black clad man glared at Corann as he handed the scroll to her. "It's a contract, sign it and let your pet stick read it and I will let your lands alone." The assassin placed his hand on the blade hidden at the small of his back. Though Reannon would have liked nothing more than to introduce the savage across the table to the assassin's blade, she motioned for the him to refrain and picked up the scroll. It was succinct. She would stay with him at his camp for a day and a night, and there would be no conditions. Unnerving as it was, there was nothing to think about. If the 1,000 men in the valley would leave her lands in peace, than she would sign. The Goddess had answered her prayer, albeit cruelly. "When?" She asked, desperately attempting to keep her voice steady. The dark haired man turned to his red headed companion who lifted his head and appeared to sniff the air. They exchanged words in their native tongue, and Corann turned back towards her. "When the moon is full." Reannon reached for the quill and ink and quickly scratched her name at the bottom. Her protector picked up the scroll and read through it. He looked to Reannon his eyes, the only visible feature of his face, showing an obvious reluctance to agree but did nothing further. Corann stood up and took the scroll from him and placed it back in its case. "Done!" Corann could barely hide his elation at the ease of the transaction. "We will take our leave now. I will send Bedwyr for you when the time comes." He motioned to the man beside him. "Be prepared early. It's a long journey." She started to say something. "Uh-uh." He shook his head side to side. "Remember, no conditions." Then he was gone. She sat at the table determined to set it aflame by simply staring at it. The week would end too soon. The rumors that shadowed this man came flying back to her. He was no man at all. The servants said he was a wolf that walked as a man; that when the moon was full he hunted by its light. The thought of an animal touching her was unconscionable, but the flash of the animals he commanded violating everything else she held dear was far worse. At least it was for the moment. She did not kid herself that she would still feel the same when she was standing in front of him. "If you are not returned unharmed…" the normally silent assassin paused "Even a lycanthrope dies my lady." She nodded to him and he disappeared from view. His words gave her no comfort. "That was easier than I expected." Corann said moments after they cleared the keep. Bedwyr looked at him with that same smug expression he was known for. "That's because I am the greatest." Corann ignored his friend. "I've never seen someone quite so devoted. Any other woman would have at least put up a front of disgust." He was musing to himself more than speaking to Bedwyr. "Actually she was seething beneath that cool façade she put on when she signed." Bedwyr said informatively. "You're just saying that. There was nothing in her demeanor to suggest-" "What? That she hated you?" Bedwyr was deadly serious now. "She thinks our people are animals, and she is truly revolted by the idea of you touching her. We should give her to the men to be sure she is properly touched before we send her on her way." Corann was silent. His friend's nose was never wrong. Knowing this he would rather let the men have her, but they had a purpose. The sun would be up within the hour, and Reannon had not closed her eyes since the previous morning. Neither had she eaten. Her dreams the night before had been disturbing to say the least. She dreamed of men turning into dogs and doing awful things to her. She wanted to run. She looked at the little satchel packed with travel supplies and tried to figure out where she'd go. "My Lady, the red haired man has come." She jumped. Her steward stood in her doorway with a candle. No dawn touched the sky yet. She picked up the satchel and walked with him to the keeps gates. "Gareth, please ask him where the horses are." She said quietly when she could not see any. She waited patiently as Gareth exchanged words with the stranger. She seemed to remember his name being Bed-something. "My Lady, he says that you will be walking. He also says his name is Bedwyr." She nodded to her steward and then moved outside the gates. They walked in silence until the sun had risen well above the horizon. She contemplated talking to herself, but opted to remain silent. She was deep in thought about a recent dilemma in the town when he startled her. "Do you speak the language of your mother?" Reannon understood it easily enough. Her mother made sure to teach her everything she could about her heritage when her husband wasn't looking. She thought the last remnants of her mother's tribe had been destroyed so it was very surprising to hear the tongue. She opted to play dumb anyway. "Good, give me your bag." Bedwyr was not easily fooled. He would need to speak to her occasionally and he was relieved she spoke something besides Latin. He hated the language more than Corann ever would. Reannon blinked at him in confusion, determined not to let on that she understood. He stopped her and placed his hands on her shoulders while looking straight into her eyes. "Corann is planning on letting his horse fuck you while his men stare on in amusement." He laughed when her eyes went wide in horror and she stumbled backwards. "Now give me your bag." She held it out to him since it was obvious she understood what he said anyway. She watched him take the bag and turn it over dumping the contents on the road. It was more than she could stand. Her mind now reeling with yet another horrific possibility in the time to come; she was also deprived of the potions she had brought to help her 'cope'. She glared at him wishing with all her being she could see his last breath in that moment. Not caring what he did, she moved to retrieve her belongings. Not even perfect hate can win out over brute force however. He grabbed her arm just below the shoulder and spun her to face the rising sun. "We continue to camp my lady." Knowing she couldn't break his hold on her, she dug her heels in and refused to move. "Corann requested that you bring nothing. I could interpret that as your clothing as well. I would suggest you start moving before I start getting creative." Tormenting her was pure enjoyment. If he'd known this, he wouldn't have been so reluctant to go fetch her. "Not without my potions." She said through clenched teeth. He pulled his dagger from its holster and easily slipped the flat of the blade against her skin beneath the cloth covering her breasts. Without a word of warning he turned it so the edge pressed against the now taunt fabric, easily tearing it. She stepped forward. He was disappointed but withdrew the blade. Unfortunately he might have to explain it to Corann. They walked in silence until the sun moved closed to its zenith, and she could bare her own thoughts no longer. "What does your master want with me?" She heard a low growl and immediately looked for its source. Surely it could not have come from him. "Corann is my friend and I am his advisor." There was a touch of anger in his voice. She smiled. It was the first time she had in a week. Obviously the statement bothered him. "That's not what it looked like to me." She said, still smiling. "You know, I've never seen what a horse would do to a woman. It should be educational." He didn't even look at her. She was instantly ill. Her mind raced again, attempting to discern some logical reason as to why this was happening. She could not bare the thought that he only wished to abuse her for a day. She would have prayed but she feared the gods would find an even crueler way to answer her. "Looking forward to a cock that might actually satisfy you?" He continued. She may have looked like his people, but she was Roman and no Roman would ever insult him. She turned on him, anger overcoming fear. She wanted to kill him, slowly, but he was twice her size and she had no weapon. She chose the next best thing. She spit on him. He lunged at her, and she hit the ground hard on her back knocking the wind out of her. As she struggled to regain it, she became aware of the same low growl she heard earlier. He held his face close to hers, his odd grey eyes focused on her in a predatory gaze. His lips barely exposed canines that seemed too long to be human, and the fear of the beast that lingered above her quickly outpaced her panic. She screamed. Her scream brought him to his senses and he swiftly returned to a standing position. He watched her get up unsteadily while he let his rage subside. He meant to kill her. He was lucky she found the strength to scream. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she was still fighting to regain control of her breathing. Bedwyr did not look at her again for the remainder of the trip. She could have run, but she was terrified. To this point she had convinced herself that what she feared was impossible. There seemed to be little left to hope for now. Her heart sank further as she saw the tents spread out through the valley like a swarm of rabbits. The sun had barely moved past its zenith and she still had half a day and the entirety of the night to remain in this nightmare. "Bedwyr approaches sire." The man making the announcement smiled lasciviously, "Will the men be able to share in the spoils?" Corann assumed he referred to the girl and was relieved to hear it. He worried that she might incur Bedwyr's wrath. His friend had a special hatred for anything Roman. "The girl is special. If any of the men touch her they will answer to Gaia herself." The soldier nodded curtly and retreated from the tent. He was replaced a moment later by the new arrivals. Bedwyr threw Reannon roughly to the ground as soon as he entered the tent. "Your bitch, Corann." He growled. Corann noted things had not gone so well and thanked Gaia that Bedwyr had found the strength to restrain himself. The assassins that protected the woman on the ground were nothing to be trifled with. His friend left without a word. He stared at her for moment until he noticed her shoulders shaking. She was crying, which was not the best way to start this off. He reached down to help her to her feet and she immediately retreated from him. She looked at him, her eyes red and swollen and the tracks of her tears prevalent through the thin layer of dust that covered her pail skin. "What do you want from me?" She asked through her sobs, almost begging. He took pity on her. She managed to be pretty even now, which was difficult to believe. "At this moment I want you to wash and eat something. And I want you to know that whatever Bedwyr told you is most likely false. He has a particular hatred for Romans." The relief in her eyes was immediate. She was back to being completely in the dark, but it was better than the dark future that her vile escort had painted. At least she had some hope. Maybe this was all just for show. "The water is there." He flipped a sand timer over. "You have until the sands run out to compose yourself. I will return with food then." He left. It wasn't long, but at least it gave her a moment. She slipped her hands into the cool water in the basin and splashed it on her face to erase the traces of her tears. She tried to just breathe and think of nothing. It would most likely be her only chance. "I hope you like roots it's all I could find." He said as he entered. She ate them politely but quickly. After a day and a half, almost anything would have been good. She gulped the mead as well. Without her potions, it would have to suffice. He refused when she requested another glass however. "There is water there." He said, motioning to a skin hanging from a post. It wasn't her thirst she wanted to quench however. "Do you have any preferences?" He said after she didn't move towards the skin. "Yes, mead." She answered shortly. She needed something to get her heart rate under control. "No! and that's not what I meant." He said with a little bit of a laugh. "And what did you mean?" She said. Corann smiled. "Perhaps I should show you." He started to walk to her. Reannon wasn't new to this, but it was still a little unnerving. At least it would have been if this had been a man. She may have known what it was he meant to do, but what truly terrified her was how he might do it. She retreated from slowly. "What is it you wish it show me?" She almost whispered. Shit! He thought to himself. Perhaps Bedwyr was wrong about her. She certainly wasn't reacting like she'd done this before. "What it is that men and women do during the night." He answered coyly. At least she wouldn't be hard to seduce. She darted towards the door and he thought for a moment she meant to flee. She pushed the flap aside and motioned to the sunlight streaming in. "Look! Still daylight!" She said breathless, her voice cracking slightly. She was terrified. He could smell it as plainly as rotten eggs. He could also sense the revulsion his friend had noticed before. Suddenly it was hard to see her as anything but Roman. The thought of throwing her to the men crossed his mind. "You're people are an affront to the Mother." He said with the same distaste she had heard when he first spoke to her. What had changed? She looked from side to side, searching for something…anything. He took a deep breath. Whether he hated her or not, she was still a woman. She would still feel the same, and the chance that she presented for his kind may not come again. He would just have to remember to be gentle. Reannon was still looking around when he suddenly closed the distance between them. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back towards the pallet of skins, turning her away from him when they got there. She felt the stola clasped at her shoulder fall to the ground a moment later, and he immediately began working on the laces of her sleeves. She closed her eyes tightly praying it would be over quickly. The few times she had pleasured the senator during their dealings it had never lasted long. It was all the hope she had left that the shape-shifter was not so different from a human. Corann was already frustrated before he started fumbling with her clothes and the laces weren't helping. He reached around her, opting instead to tear the fabric where Bedwyr's knife had started it. She squeaked when she heard the fabric tearing, unable to remain quiet when she felt him lean over her. He dwarfed her and she was having visions of him shifting into the strange two-legged wolf form behind her. He stopped suddenly. She was shaking so violently he was afraid she was going to have a fit. He circled around her and almost laughed when he saw her face, her eyes tightly closed like a five-year-old waiting for punishment. The remains of her dress barely clung to her breasts and fell just a little further with every ragged breath. He brushed the fabric aside and for a moment forgot that she was Roman. Her breasts were a handful each with rose nipples that immediately hardened in the cool air. They looked firm, but still supple, a suspicion he intended to confirm. She crumpled to the floor just before however. He knelt beside her and brushed her hair back from her face. She was conscious but refused to look at him. He really did not like virgins. "So you know nothing about this, huh?" he said calmly. He went on when she did not respond. "I would think that by 19 you would have at least observed the animals in the keep. It is not much different and it obviously-" She sat up rather violently, covering herself in the process. "Your kind is supposed to be dead!" She blurted out in a terrified shrill voice. He looked at her in astonishment, unable to comprehend what she meant. "The Romans wiped out the Children of Gaia years ago!" She was frantic and no longer able to fight her fear. She knew of them from stories meant to scare children into behaving. He stared at her wide eyes for a moment. He should deny it. "You know of my people?" Not exactly what he had planned to say, but in 100 years he'd never been with anyone else that knew. "Yes." She answered quietly, still curled up defensively. "Well that explains the whole animal thing." She looked confused. "I thought the Romans had sufficiently destroyed all trace of us among those they conquered." He said bitterly. Somehow the girl kept sidetracking him from his goal. He sat down on the ground, trying to regain his focus. He only needed to have sex with her. Nature would take care of the rest. Well, nature and Ronat, but he didn't need to think about that right now. The witch had been instrumental in keeping them alive, but he never once trusted her. He was looking at Reannon but not paying attention to her which had done nothing to calm her. When he focused on her again, he couldn't help but smile at what she must be thinking. He was a predator after all and fear would always be a turn on. He lowered his head slightly so he could look up at her through cold gray eyes. "I wonder," he leaned forward and put both hands firmly on the ground, "is it that I might bite?" He shifted to all fours and advanced towards her slowly. "Or is that I might," he could almost feel her heart beating wildly as he drew closer, "change?" She froze when she heard him say it. He had moved between her and the entrance now, but she could easily slip out anywhere. The distance to the woods was shorter from behind the tent anyway. She summoned all her focus and ran for it, intent on rolling beneath one of the rear walls as she prayed for protection. Reannon moved faster than he anticipated, but he grabbed the retreating edges of her skirt before she was out of his range. She tripped when her forward momentum was unexpectedly halted, and ended up on her hands and knees scrambling for the back of the tent. It was futile now; however, as in the brief moment she had taken to recover he had already gotten a firm hold on her ankle. He drug her towards him, flipping her over in the process. He winced a little when she managed to grazed his knuckle with her sandal as she kicked at him. Corann grinned at her, bearing two sharp white canines, as he pushed her skirts up to her hips and grabbed her thighs to draw her beneath him. He sat back on her legs before she could knee him in the groin, and grabbed her wrists when she went for his eyes. She struggled only a moment more. "Anything else?" he queried, surprised he was a little breathless. She would have spit on him but she remembered the reaction it had elicited from Bedwyr and refrained. He released her hands and quickly removed the remnants of her clothes down to her waist. He was still sitting on her knees, which put him some distance away from her and gave her one more opportunity. As soon the fabric cleared her fingers she drew her arm back and jammed her right palm into the center of his chest. The shock in his eyes let her know she had hit her mark, and she struggled out from under him leaving her clothes behind. She made it to the edge of freedom but as she moved to slip under the tent she was yanked back to her feet. Corann had drawn her arm behind her and lifted her so roughly he came close to breaking it. A moment later she could no longer breathe as his free hand tightened around the base of her neck and hauled her backwards. She was seeing stars and struggling frantically by the time he released her and turned her towards him. She took a grateful breath that sent her into a painful coughing fit as he lashed her wrists tightly together with a strip of leather and threw her on the ground. He dropped awkwardly his knees beside her and forced her to her back; lucky she could not really fight as he drug her to the nearest post and tied her hands to it. She was still coughing as he collapsed to the ground and attempted to regain his own breath. She could not have hit him more perfectly. He doubted even Bedwyr could have seen that coming. She could not sit up since she had been tied to the base of the pole, and her hands were back to back which prevented her from fiddling with the knots. She tried to slip her hands from the leather causing the bonds to tighten further. She could not even get enough leverage to turn over, and she was completely unprotected. "Goddess, what have I done?" she murmured under her breath. "Nothing, she is simply on my side." Corann answered her as he sat up. He started laughing. "I should make you pay for that." He grabbed her legs before she could kick him, then shifted his grip to her knees and pulled them apart. She struggled even though it was pointless now. She wanted to scream in the thin hope that someone would stop him. "Go ahead, scream. The men would love it." He said casually, without looking at her, as he knelt between her knees. She gasped when she felt first his breath and then the warmth of his tongue as it followed the crease of the innermost part of her thigh. She jumped when he nipped the tender flesh as he continued further up. His lips did not touch her again until he reached the rise of her breasts, and she could do nothing more than watch. Her breath sharpened as the fingers of his left hand moved down the inside of her arm and encircled her nipple. He let his thumb just graze the top as his tongue followed suit on the opposite side. Her body rose up, without her bidding, to meet his touch, and she heard him give a satisfied sigh as his teeth closed on one hardened peak while his fingers teased the other. Her mind reeled as fear was replaced by fantasy. Reannon's slender body tingled with anticipation and every touch intensified the warmth between her legs. She was young and untested, and she had tasted another only briefly. He left little of her untouched as he explored her unhindered. He watched her back arch as his fingers slipped into her and finally brushed the point where every nerve of her body must have concentrated. She fought against her bonds, but only to offer more of herself to him when the heat of his tongue replaced the gentle torment of his fingers. He wouldn't release her though. He intended to let her sleep like that after what she did to him. She screamed as she slipped over the edge, the tension giving way to trembling as he savored the result of his attentions. Corann smiled to himself as he sat up and disrobed. Though he had forced more than one maiden to the ground, they always submitted willingly in the end. This one had been no different. Reannon was still breathless when she felt him ease into her, gently pushing until his hips met hers. She whimpered, lost in the feeling seeming to invade every part of her. He ended things quietly, but that's how he was. He grabbed the sword, never far from his side, and released her from the pole before he broke away from her complete. He left her hands bound just to be safe however. She was already drifting off by the time he lay down beside her. He woke her twice more before the sun climbed the horizon. Partly just to be sure he succeeded in his goal, and partly because being inside her was absolute heaven to him. It was almost evening of the following day when Bedwyr returned from Reannon's keep. Corann nearly pounced on him when cleared the entryway of his tent. "She's still in one piece right?" He asked "I nearly had to carry her back. And her little pet was none to happy about the marks on her neck." His friend answered with a smile. "Fuck him, she was unharmed." Corann growled. "Barely." Bedwyr smirked. "It's beside the point. Did I succeed?" Corann asked impatiently. Bedwyr placed his hands on his friend's shoulders. "If Ronat comes through you will be a proud father by Summer Solstice"
I wrote this for a little girl that died. I kind of want to give it to her family but I'm not sure if I should. The friend of mine that was friends with the family that lost her has not been on in some time anyway, so I'm not sure I'll have the chance. I wrote it anyway. For a Child I'll Never Know There are black marks across every wall Of my pretty white house Products of my two year old with a magic marker And the stealth of a busy mouse Two coats of paint only dulled it slightly Her picasso on rented walls And I think its something I could have missed As I follow the damage down the hall But I read a little story today A baby girl all giggles and smiles She's just seen her first birthday But I'll never meet this child I can only imagine what she must be like Since I know little more than her name From the little treasure I hold each night I wonder if they might be the same I wonder at the clothes she's worn And what and where her toys were tossed And though I never held her close My heart can feel that something is lost She shared no great philosophy And the world, for most, will continue at pace But at night when I hold my little one I will remember a tiny face For fingers I never touched Have brushed this dying heart And a smile from a picture Softened the hardest part So these words that come from my soul Are for this child I'll never know With silent prayers to the family That had to watch her go Thank you and the heavens for your little girl Even if it was for a little while Please know that she changed my world And when I think of her I will always smile

Some Other Life

Some Other Life This had to be some other life This could not be all my strife I understand the broken-hearted The problem is that’s how I started The pain creeps up like memories But I swear they don’t belong to me I promise you I didn’t do it So why must I be doomed to go through it How do I explain how I feel? I think I’m crazy and it isn’t real And no one else can collaborate I have no past; I’m stuck with fate Perhaps I’ll start with my collections The painful unknown recollections But I do it for myself Because I know there’s no one else Here in the dark I’m stripped and bare I beg for a savior but no one is there I think the devil must have found me Because this sickness wants to drown me Turn to Jesus; give him my fears But someone must have covered his ears Turn to the Earth; but she is silent Where do I look when everything is quiet? My explanation can go no further I don’t know why it has to hurt her I don’t know if I’m really crazy Or maybe someone didn’t save me So I’ll get up tomorrow morning With another day before me My cryptic dreams will be behind me And hope the devil doesn’t find me

Daring Exploits

It was late and Nikki, suffering from a case of insomnia, passed the time in the dining car. The train sped on through an endless night as she sipped her drink and played solitaire on her PDA. It would have been unbearably quiet except for the gentle hum of steel against steel beneath her. Another passenger occupied the car not far from her, and a tender stood behind the bar idly cleaning glasses. She had already sized them both up and decided to pay them no heed as she searched for a reason to sleep. She could go back to her car and masturbate. That always helped but, there just wasnt any material to draw from. She sighed as she turned back to the game she was inevitably going to lose. As she did, motion from the entrance in front of her caught her eye. A man, in his mid thirties from the look of him, quickly found a table that happened to be facing hers. Nikki watched him in between card moves, her black eyes taking short looks so he wouldn't catch her. He was tall with dark hair and pretty eyes. She was always a sucker for eyes, but the rest of him wasnt any less intriguing. A thought crossed her mind as she watched the other passenger take his leave. She held her gaze on the stranger until he looked up. He looked her over for a second and smiled which encouraged her. She returned to her game, pretending to take no more notice of him. Her chin resting her on hand, she began to slide her finger down her neck to her chest. The white gauzy blouse she was wearing easily unbuttoned with just a little pressure, and, moving her hand down between her breasts, she managed to undo every clasp. Her heartbeat quickened as she returned both hands to her game for a moment. She dared not look to see if he noticed yet. She wasn't sure if she would be able to continue. She took a deep breath and placed her left hand on her knee, moving it slowly up her thigh to her hip. Nikki focused her attention on her actions now, moving her hand up beneath her blouse up to her bra. The movement caused the fabric to slip to the side, revealing her breast. Her pink nipple was plainly visible through the thin white lace of her bra. Immediately she felt dampening between her thighs and her nipple hardening pressing against the fabric that held it. She looked up then, unable to control her curiosity any longer. She caught him as he hastily looked back to his lap top, attempting to continue whatever work he had set out to do in this early morning. She smiled as she looked back down, a blush darkening her cheeks more from excitement than embarrassment. Her fingers now rested on the clasp that held her bra. Her heart raced and her breath came faster as she looked to the side where the tender stood completely unaware of what she did now. Nikki looked back down at the table where her PDA lay, a smile on her lips as she twisted the clasp and let her bra fall to the side. Her blouse now opened all the way, revealing her supple breasts, a handful each, as her chest rose and fell with her ever quickening breaths. Her audience gave up his work, unable to take his eyes of her. He licked his lips as he watched her right hand slowly encircle her left breast ending with the nipple between her fingers, rolling it gently. She closed her eyes, barely able to stifle a moan as she moved from her left to her right breast. Unable to stave off her desire any longer, she dropped her hand between her knees and moved up the inside of her thigh, her skirt slowly revealing the rest of her shapely legs as she pushed it out of the way. She lifted only her eyes to the stranger some fifteen feet away as her slender fingers gently grazed her very wet very naked pussy. She was vaguely aware that his own hands had moved beneath the table cloth as she closed her eyes again. She moved her free hand to her breasts, concentrating on her erect nipples as her fingers eagerly found her sensitive clit. Her finger slipped easily across what felt like silk as she slowly began to coax her body to climax. It didnt take any effort with the pure erotic feeling produced by the strange eyes upon her as she bared her body to him. She didnt even care if the tender noticed her now as her body began to stiffen in preparation for that sweet release. She looked up again, biting her lip and finally coughing to cover her cry as her body gave into her orgasm. She let her hands drop for a moment suddenly incredibly embarrassed. She quickly gathered things and threw on her jacket and rushed for the door without looking back. As soon as the door to her private room slid back in place, she burst out laughing, the adrenaline still coursing through her veins. She was still hot, incredibly hot which would lead to a very enjoyable hour as she waited for the train to arrive at its destination.
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