RON's blog: "women"

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Cleaning Poem I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer 'yes.' He told me to get off my butt And tidy up the house. And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse. I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick... I was just admiring my work.. I didn't mean to 'click.' But click, I did, and oops I found A real absorbing site. That I got SO way into it. I was into it all night.<> Nothing's changed except my mouse It's very, very shiny. I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my hiney.

Women Drivers (I Love This One) This morning on my commute to work, I looked over to my left and there was a WOMAN !! in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my pants, and disconnected an important call. Damn women drivers __._,_.___

A WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong.One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind? 'I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend