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What are you waiting for?
I always ask myself why. Why do I never trust? Why do I always ask to many questions? Why isn't anyone every good enough? Why do I always go for the wrong person, knowing they are going to break my heart? Why didn't I see what was going on? Why did I still love him knowing what he did? Why did he choose my heart to break? Why wasn't I smart enough? Why wasn't I pretty enough? Why wasn't I interesting enough? Why wasn't I good enough? My dad says I have always asked why. He said I wanted to know why the sky was blue? Why I had to go to school? Why was I the only sister with 3 brothers? Why are the flowers all different colors? Why is chocolate brown when it should obviously be purple (when I was 4 and in my exact words)? Why is ice cream cold? He said at one point he and Mom thought about changing my middle name to why. I could not even be told to clean my room without asking why it needed to be done when obviously it was just going to be messed up again. Well now I sit here staring at this screen and wonder why I let him use me as long as I did. Why didn't I see all the signs my friends saw? Why I always go for the same type? Why did he choose to break MY heart instead of hers? Why cant I just let down all my walls and trust this new person? Why does he want to keep pushing me when I tell him I just am not ready yet. Why am I not ready yet? WHY OH WHY OH WHY?
