OK! here goes....I'm not into writing this blogs to express my feelings,but here goes! Well as some of you know i've been divorced for almost a year now.Granted we had some good times and some bad, who does'nt? What i was wanna know is why does it still sting a little after the fact? Is it normal to have such anger and rage as i'm feeling now? Could it be the reason why i'm so "moody" as i've been told before? I guess the reason i'm asking this is cause last night i had a dream about bumping into my ex at a county fair( dont ask)But after a lil tit for tat with her i proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of her!!! And what's worse is it felt so real i woke up in a sweat.Seeing as how she fucked me over after we got divorced this was a feeling i really wanted to carr out in person,with my own hands i wanted to stangle the shit out of her! But i don't do shit like that, So how do i release this anger i have buried so deep within myself? Is it healthy to keep things bottled up like this? Is it normal to still hurt a little bit when you come across an old photo? I know i say alot about how i tell whats on my mind, and i dont give a fuck about what anyone else thinks about me and i really dont. I try to make myself feel better by smoking weed and fuckin this person or that person.Don't get it twisted i'm not on a road to self-destruction or anything like that, i'm not that fucking stupid. Sometimes i see people on the internet or in person and think "Should i try it again?" How long should i wait before i decide to jump back into something? I mean i know my bad habits and my good. Should i find someone with the same ideas as me or should i wait and see how the single life plays itself out for me? Is it my fear of being alone that makes me grab on to someone if anyone just to know there's someone out there i can just talk to? How difficult is it to actually find someone who's a match for me. And i don't mean a companion, i mean a REAL fucking match!! Someone who i don't get tired of fucking/seeing/hearing? Is that so hard to find?
