NiNjAbitch500's blog: "is this hell?"

normally id say its just one of those days, but today is a lot different ten jus one of those days.....i was wokin up by a panic attack this morning. my heart pounding so hard. my chest felt like it had been stab over an over again. then the puking started an then my vision got blurry an i swear i could hear a deep sounding laugh...the laughing stops but my vision hasnt returned the puking continues an i cant breathe...this must be hell everything looks so different so unfimlar like a place i have never been before.....this isnt my room this inst my home were am i some one help me is all i think....the more i puke the less i can breathe the less i can breathe the colder i get...why am i so cold my hair is soking with sweat......can any of this be real is it really happening to me. hours go by, or whut i think is hours but slow painful burnng hours....tho all the choas i can hear a slight nocking it sounds so far away. the nockin gets louder but then the laughin starts up again....but now the nockin is louder then the laughing....am i comming to? is this nightmear ending? It is, im still so cold...the nocking stops an i can hear a voice i love this voice....everything goes back to normal im not in hell i had crawled my way to the bathrrom....i can feel a warm embrace an a worried yet so loving voice...its a womans vocie an i can feel arms wrap around me an only then can i feel how much im shaking....its an angel..its my emma....i cant see her but i can tell its her by her voice an her smell....no she doesnt smell bad lol i jus knw her smell. shes got her arms around me an the coldness is slowly disappearing the puking has stopped to....i start to cry my body hurts so bad..my sight is starting to come back..she is my angel....she sits on the floor with me untill i can see again an helps me back to my bed...she lays there with me untill the shaking stops an asks me if im ok.....she holds me tight an kisses my forhead i tell her im ok then i fall back to sleep.....i wake up tho an shes not here anymore:( i know she will be back tho....shes my angel an she always will be