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Dragon's blog: "Who Am I"

created on 12/10/2006  |  http://fubar.com/who-am-i/b32997

The Abyss

About three and a half years ago I arrived in Pennsylvania moving from Nevada. Some of the changes moving back to this part of the country have been fairly big. Pennsylvania is a commonwealth not a state and the laws here are differnt than most places i've lived. Pennsylvania is proud of their history and independence. Shortly after arriving I saw a doctor for some medical issues. My back was a wreck and limited my mobility and I had no energy what so ever not to mention I was whiter than some of the sheets.The doctor has become my regular doctor and friend. What he discoverd was i'd lost 50% of the blood in my body (no idea how) and he put me in the hospital immediately and started running tests to see if he could determine where the blood went. In his efforts he introduced me to an oncologist due to an abnormal spike in one of the tests he ran. The oncologist wanted to run a PET scan to determine if I had cancer in my lymph nodes. At the time this was a 5000 dollar procedure so of course Pennsylvania denide it and he had to do a bone marrow tap which honestly is the most painful thing i've ever had done. I swore in 5 languages (none of them english) and almost kicked someone in the head.I had non hodgekins lymphoma and lucky for me it has the highest cure rate of all cancers. I did 6 treatments of chemotherapy and yes your hair really does fall out. In with all these events i'm a typer II diabetic (pill only) and had not been doing anything to deal with that. Saw a neurologist about some movement issues and found I had unoperable nerve damage to both legs so my walk is differnt than it used to be. You are now wondering why this is called "The Abyss" Well when you are informed that your body is a train wreck and that some things might go away, some will go away, and some never will go away it truely makes you take a look at your life and how you've lived it. You apologize to the people you've hurt and if you've been less than nice you try and change. Seeing a future with chemo, insulin and a restricted diet you have to make a choice. Do you fight and do your best to become a better person and treat people better or do you say screw it i'll become a bigger jerk and just not care. In that abyss is your mortality and it's extremely scarey. We all know we're going to die but when it's staring you in the face everything changes. You can't fix every relationship you've damaged but you can try. I have my regrets and big or small i've tried to be less confrontational. Don't think this means i'm a pushover because you'd be so very wrong. I've learned to be diplomatic. Rather than start screaming I calmly tell them they're a total horses a** but in a way they don't realize I called them a horses a**. The abyss i'm dealing with is mortality and when I found out I honestly was scared. Most people go through life never having to face the issue and I have great respect for those that do. Our members of the armed services both serving now and those who served prior. Our police and fire fighters. Our astronauts and aerospace personnel. These people have courage beyond what is normal. How many can say they'd run into a burning building to save someone traped inside or try to free a hostage from someone who might shoot them? The abyss in my case holds my mortality and i've looked it in the face and haven't flinched. Am I the easiest person to get along with having mellowed out? The answer to that is if I think you're a horses a** i'll tell you but leave you wondering if what I said meant you're a horses a**. Like a good 90% of the people I have no idea when my time will come but i've been introduced to several possibilities. As far as what I can do well I have workarounds that let me do the grand majority of things I used to do. Can I do a mile run? Climb Mt. Everest? The answer is no but I hated running back when I could and honestly have never wanted to climb Everest. My biggest regret now is I likely can't be a crewman for one of the boats on "Deadliest Catch" Only boat I honestly wouldn't want to crew for would be tthe Northwestern. Something tells me no matter how much i've mellowed either Sig or I would be swimming back to port.

Veteran Cosmic Rocker

I admit my age and that i've been rocking since the early 60s. I have spent most of the day adding videos to my page and have been having a blast. I worked for a number of years as security for concerts in Cincinnati where I grew up. Age hasn't slowed me down because if anything my music tastes have grown a bit harder than they were. I've added a number of videos to my main profile page (and yes one is Weird Al)I have added some classics to the 'My Tracks'Section and will continue to add more music because music is a large part of me. I play 5 instruments and sing. I can sight read music and have a good range. I'm a bass but can handle parts much higher. Enjoy what i've put up because music comes from the heart. I know not everyone will enjoy all the tracks i've added and that's okay. Know there are 2 comedy cuts and the rest are rock. Enjoy and smile

All those years ago

Some of you know I was in the army. During my time I was stationed at a small base in Germany and we had pershing missles. We were told that we had 15 minutes to get as far away as possible if we ever launched or the russians launched. Needless to say this was cause for concern since every german civilian would be doing the same. I informed the officer in charge that i'd spend those 15 minutes making my peace with God and kissing my ass goodbye. The day John Hinkley shot president Reagan my worst fears almost came true. I had pulled day shift and was watching T.V. when the announcement came over. Our alert horn sounded and folks ran out to the missle pads and I ran downstairs to the signal room and immediately relieved the person on duty (ok I kicked them out) and started copying messages. As the only operator on my team with high enough clearence to decode the messages I found that in the current message the operator I had relieved had miscopied several characters and rather than an alert message she had given our missle team a launch message. I immediately called down to the war room as all hell was breaking loose around me. My team leader was banging on the steel entry door and yelling to have me open it and the captain of the artillery team that controlled the missles was screaming in my ear on the phone. I told him rather unpolitely to shut up (yes there were 2 words in between shut and up)and get down to the signal room ASAP and then got up and let my team leader in with the captain right behind. The team leader wanted to know why I had relieved the other operator and the captain wanted to know what was going on. I showed him the original message as it had been copied and then the rebroadcast I had gotten. I did not want to do this but the vision of Alexander Haig proclaiming he was in charge had me nervous beyond all doubt. My job the rest our stay at the missel site was to teach the operator I had abruptly relieved everything I knew.

Who Am I

People often wonder what is behind the picture and the words. What rolls through this mind and what does my heart feel. First of all i'm a gentleman so don't look for NSFW pictures or comments from me. I treat people with respect and honor. I see the good in eveyone and am never rude. Don't take that as an invitation to do me wrong for I do have a temper. Anyone who knows me from yahoo 360 knows I have very strong opinions concerning Iraq and the man who stole the white house in 2000. Dragon is a name i've held for a long time and likely always will. I have an 18 year old son currewntly in college. He is the one great thing to come out of a 10 year marriage that was mainly a mess. I am by no means perfect and part of the mess was my doing. I am very open and honest and will answer questions if you ask but don't expect me to just open up
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