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SusieQ FE 2 Smitty's blog: "Whatevers"

created on 12/28/2006  |  http://fubar.com/whatevers/b38556

Pissed Off

I'm sure a lot of you know I haven't been on here much lately. I finally come on here today to find out a certain family member of mine is complaining how I haven't been rating their pics etc. For one there is a reason why I haven't been around here much lately not that I feel like telling everyone about it but a few of you do know why. Secondly if you feel your life is going to be so much better because of a certain rank you'll be or whatever then delete me as I'm not here for points! Fact of the matter is I DO have a life outside of fubar and that comes first before anything!!! It pisses me off to no end that someone thinks they can "threaten" me with being deleted from their list because of this. Like that's going to get them anything from me! I am letting everyone know now that I will be here when I can or want to, but I have more pressing matters at hand and if you want to delete me go ahead.

The Awakening

I came across this and it was inspiring to me so I thought I would share. :) A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can. By Sonny Carroll

Miss you all

Wanted to let everyone know that my computer is down and other things going on that is keeping me from being on here. I will be back as soon as I can. I miss you all!

A supposed friend.

Seems one of my friends on here is reporting my photos NSFW... I know it is a friend because those photos were open to "friends only" and they are just jokes. You seriously need to grow up! If you don't like it then don't rate it and grow some balls! I am just gonna close them all to family only.

It's that time again

I am doing a major cleaning of my friends list tonight. No use in having someone on there that doesn't even stop by or return anything. Nobody in my family is being deleted of course. So asta to the ones I never hear from and probably won't read this anyway.

I'm outta here!

I am being whisked away to San Diego for the weekend and I just wanted to wish all my friends a great and safe weekend! It has been years since I have been able to get away and I am so looking forward to it! I will check in with everyone when I get back and probably will have some pictures to share. Susie :D

My apologies

I just want to apologize to everyone that came by my profile between late last night and earlier today. It seems the background I had on here codes were changed by the person who made it to a very derogatory background and with some insulting comments to a member on CT. This is very childish that this guy did this. Anyone that truly knows me knows that I would not be a part of something like that. I am sorry that anyone had to see that crap! Susie

Busy busy

Things are pretty chaotic for me at the time so I haven't been on much. The school year is winding down so work has been hectic. I am so looking forward to summer vacation! So between work and my sons baseball and starting a new life and seeing someone, I don't have much time on here anymore. My whole Memorial Weekend consisted of my sons baseball tournament, which they took 2nd place in! He was asked to try out for the All-Star team and he did but we won't find out until June 5th if he made it or not. My life lately has been a whirlwind..never know if I'm coming or going but for the most part it's been good..I miss chatting with a lot of you on here, but once things settle down some I'll be on more. I hope everyone has been well and I will be trying to catch up with everything you have uploaded here and there. Take care :) Susie

Back to work

Just wanted to let you guys know that I just went back to work last week after quite a few years of being a stay at home mom. It's only part time but it's going to take me some time to balance everything out. Forgive me it if takes me longer then usual to return comments, rate your pics/stash and get to your blogs. Hope everyone has had a great start to their week!!

Begin Again

BEGIN AGAIN One of the best things we can do in our lives is this: begin again. Begin to see yourself as you were when you were the happiest and strongest you've ever been. Begin to remember what worked for you (and what worked against you), and try to capture the magic again. Begin to remember how natural it was when you were a child - to live a lifetime each day. Begin to forget the baggage you have carried with you for years: the problems that don't matter anymore, the tears that cried themselves away, and the worries that are going to wash away on the shore of tomorrow's new beginning. Tomorrow tells us it will be here every new day of our lives; and if we will be wise, we will turn away from the problems of the past and give the future - and ourselves - a chance to become the best of friends. Sometimes all it takes is a wish in the heart to let yourself... begin again.
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