What will people think ?
Waiting for the right words not knowing how to speak. afraid to explain in fear the words will come out wrong. trying not to breathe, apologetic that i can. afraid that one of these days will be my last and praying its tommorow.
How to tell the ones i love ,afraid to lose the laughter. belonging to something out of my control and angry with me . why do i feel this way? what have i done so wrong?
afraid to claim the feelings while drowning in a poopl of emotions. gasping for air yet to proud to reach out. taught not to trust and not to cry and never surrender. for all those are weakness in the eyes of those loved. a sign that i am not as strong as i expected to be .
everything is wonderful? whats wrong with you. nothing nothing except everything..after all what problem could i possably have in this private world where none exsist..
in a world so full of anger and deciet, in a time so envolved.. how could this be?how is it that i am so alone? with no one to listen no one to care . In a battle against the world .A constant battle with in myself.Overwhelmed with guilt and shame, feeling to week to over come. drained of all emotion,eyes tear stained and swollen shut. to tired to cry again. Tired of fighting the inevitable will i die?
Shall i suffer the agony of defeat.How simple just to fade away fallin deeper into darkness alone with myself . in terriable danger of being alone ..
Some where in the darkness pears light. apromise of new begings .There are othersand at last i am not alone. Iam in the company of great strengh and hope to teach and stand tall. Not so afraid to reach out for my welcome is extended. This company has no expectations,no judgment or no request for reward.
They are just every day people with the same goals such as my own and with love in there hearts. people just like me . people with stories just as mine the loss the pain the struggle to remain. these people have hope.Hope not for the future, but hope of today.So today i ask myself what will people think? I am no longer concerned because finally i am me and i know who i am and i am in good company...
