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Alright, here's the thing...as a guy when you're in a relationship you tend to worry about certain things. You fear that another guy could be trying to move in on the one you love so dearly...taking her away from you in a single instant even if that's not the case. This very problem is called "jealousy".
Jealousy jeal?ous?y [jel-uh-see]
| 1. | jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself. |
| 2. | mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. |
| 3. | vigilance in maintaining or guarding something. |
| 4. | a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood. |
Great, now that we've got the definition down...here's the problem. I'm currently suffering from the #2 meaning of "jealousy". Is it my fault? No...I've been trying to overcome it myself, but it doesn't seem to work. Lately I've been doing some searching online for help...because it's a condition that CAN be treated and fixed. This thing will DESTROY the perfect relationship and I fear that if something doesn't change it'll do the same to me.
I'm not going to name any names at the current moment because that isn't what this blog is about...I need help from friends and fellow MySpacers on this one. The girl that I'm currently with, I love her to death! She means everything to me and I don't want to lose her...her feelings are actually completely mutual! However, there's this problem of "jealousy" that needs to be addressed. She's felt this as well, so I KNOW I'm not alone...
See, the problem is this. Most of her friends are guys and so I'm currently feeling uneasy about things. When she wants to go and hang out with them and all...I trust her with everything I've got. It's just...can I trust them? I trust her judgement and I realize that she's willing to stay 100% faithful to me, so if anything were to happen she'd deny them and leave. Again, this "jealousy" factor comes into play...the "what if she doesn't?!" comes to mind and that's exactly what the definition of jealousy is in #2.
Trust is the #1 thing you've got to have in a relationship and Communication is #2. Right now we've got both down pat to be honest with you. I've read that jealousy is a CONDITION not a problem and that may very well be true. It CAN be fixed and all...and honestly if I didn't want it to be I wouldn't be writing this blog and searching for answers as to what I can do for this situation. I DON 'T want to see this relationship end over something so stupid...mind games if you will. It's not even mind games between one another...it's just mind games of the heart.
Honestly though guys and gals...what do I do? Again I'll sum it up...
1) I trust and love my girlfriend with all of my heart.
2) This problem IS effecting our relationship, but there's reasoning behind it.
3) Both of us have felt "jealous" of one anothers actions in the past.
4) These feelings hurt so bad and I NEED help.
5) I feel so...insecure with myself because I feel that she can do much better.
I'm looking for guidance and help fellow friends...please. I KNOW almost everyone out there has either dealt with jealousy or is currently trying to deal with it themselves...I need advice. I'm not about to let an AMAZING relationship go down the drain because of mind games. Until next time fellow readers...peace!
