SO THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN REALLY HARD FOR MYSELF. MARRIAGE, DIVORCE , LOOSING LOVED ONES…MOST OF ALL….PAIN,LOST LOVE,AND FOREVER FEELING NUMB.
THROUGH THIS LAST YEAR I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING BUT THE BEST TO KEEP MY HEAD HIGH. I GAVE MY HEART TO SOMEONE…AND IT WAS BROKEN. TAKEN FROM ME SO QUICKLY. I HOPED WITH LOSING LOVE I COULD EVENTUALLY GET IT BACK. IT SEEMS AS MY LOVE BEGAN TO RETURN TO MY HEART…IT SLOWLEY WALKED AWAY AGAIN. I HAVE LEARNED TO NO LONGER ALLOW OTHERS INTO MY LIFE. THE WALL HAS BEEN PUT BACK UP AND I AM BROKEN. WHAT HAPPENED? I STARTED TO TRUST AGAIN AND IT WAS LOST. I STARTED TO FEEL AGAIN AND THAT IS NOW GONE. IM HURT. WHEN I THINK OF HOW I FEEL, BENT, BROKEN,SHATTERED,STOLEN,LOST,NUMB,WEAK,UNABLE TO EVEN FORGIVE,SAD,TEARS,PAIN. I GUESS IM EASY TO BE FOOLED. EASY TO BE WALKED ON AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. I AM A WOMAN WHO WOULD GIVE MY CLOTHES OFF MY BACK IF I MET YOU YESTERDAY AND FELT YOU NEEDED THEM. I WAS RAISED TO BE COMPASSIONATE,LOYAL AND TRUSTWORTHY. FUNNY THING IS JUST WHEN I THINK I HAVE FOUND THAT IT GETS THROWN BACK INTO MY FACE. IM A FIRM BELIEVER IN WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND…AND FOR THE SEVERAL HALF DOZEN PEOPLE THAT I FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT…DON’T WORRY YOU HAVE IT COMING TO YOU AND I FEEL IT WON T BE IN THE BEST WAY. IM JUST BITTER. TO THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE SO EVIL AND ARE SO SELFISH AND WRAPPED UP INTO THEMSELVES THEY FORGET ABOUT THE PERSON STANDING NEXT TO THEM HOLDING THEIR HAND WHEN THEY NEED THEM.
I PROMISE MYSELF IM GOING TO KEEP GOING, KEEPING MY HEAD UP…BUT WALKING AWAY….IM DONE…GIVING UP AND JUST WALKING AWAY…SOMETIMES THATS THE BEST THING TO DO….JUST WALKING AWAY.,…TIMES LIKE THIS I REALIZE I HAVE MY FAMILY AND THEY MEAN NOTHING BUT THE WORLD TO ME. THEY MIGHT BE 900 MILES AWAY BUT THATS MY FAMILY THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TAUGHT ME MORALS, AND HAVE SHOWN ME HOW TO BE THE PERSON I AM TODAY.
………………IT FOR NOW………………
