Did you hear about the copycat terrorists who hijacked a blimp? They bounced off three buildings before they realized it wasn't going to work. ***** HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY, THE WEEKEND'S ALMOST HERE

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding??? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car behind me." ** HAGD!

Sorry! Party, Sat. eve. til Sun. night. 2 Dr. appts. Mon. Recovered Mon. eve. 1 HELLUVA WEEKEND. P.S. The report of my death was an exaggeration. HAVE A GREAT TEMPTING TUESDAY!

A father taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light, where it wasn't allowed. "Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!", he said. "That's OK, Dad," his son replied. "The police car right behind us did the same thing." ** H A GREAT WKND!

I'm gonna get killed for this 1, i JUST KNOW IT! -- The Tennessee Police Department has issued notices to all liquor stores that they have raised the minimum drinking age in that state to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools! **

Bubba and Clem found 3 grenades and decided they better take them to the police station. "What if 1 of them explodes before we get there?" asks Clem. "Don't worry about it," says Bubba. "We'll just lie and tell them we only found 2." ** HAGD!

LAPD OFFICER: "We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor slob for no reason at all! What should we charge him with?" DESK SERGEANT: "Impersonating an Officer." KEEP SMILIN', Gary.

My Christmas wish to everyone is to stay healthy, be happy, and never have to want for anything! Merry Christmas to all! (and for your enemies, may all the fleas of the world find comfort in their nostrils, armpits, and crotch! KEEP SMILIN', Gary.

A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, "Where do you live?" "Nowhere", the first drunk replied. "And where do you live?", he asks the other. "We're neighbors." **** HOPE EVERYONE HAS A REALLY GREAT CHRISTMAS EVE!

A lot of people are desperate today. A fellow walked up to me, he said, "You see a cop around here?" I said, "No." He said, "Stick 'em up!" **** HOPE EVERYONE HAS A REALLY GREAT MONDAY! 2 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS!

My uncle is with the FBI. They caught him in Cleveland. --- My wife and I have our little fights. We had a fight last week. Nothing much, only two police cars. **** HOPE EVERYONE HAS A REALLY GREAT SUNDAY!

A sargent bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!" **** HAVE A GREAT SATURDAY & A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

A police officer pulled a car over & arrested the driver for stealing the car. When he questioned the driver why he stole the car, the driver explained, "It was parked outside a cemetery & I thought the owner was dead!" **** HAVE A GREAT FRISKY FRIDAY!

1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?" 2nd Officer: "Who?" 1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!" 2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?" 1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out." ***** HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY!

Policeman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night." Man: "What's the charge officer?" Policeman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service. ***** HOPE EVERYONE HAS A HAPPY HUMP DAY!

The 4 Basic Food Groups for Police Officers: 1.Glazed 2.Jelly 3.Powdered 4.Chocolate Frosted ***** HOPE EVERYONE HAS A TERRIFIC TUESDAY!

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?" The driver said, "You buyin'?" ***** HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT MONDAY!

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle. ***** HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT WEEKEND!

How many L.A. cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six. One to do it and 5 to smash the old bulb to smithereens. ***** HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

According to the police, if you hold your purse by the strap and under your arm, nothing will ever happen to you.... Unless your name happens to be Bruce. ***** FINALLY FRIDAY, YAY! * FLEAS NAVIDOG! (see picture)