I saw 2 blind guys fighting...You should've seen the look on their faces when I said "My money is on the one with the knife."

I couldnt find a parking spot at work today so I went home. Looked like they had enough ppl.

Dont ever make me choose between alcohol and you. I will miss you when I'm drunk.

I like to whisper romantic shit after sex like "Hey...Go home."

ok everyone its time for this frog to hit the lily pad..show my fuwifey lots of luv she is the best!

If they dont have tequila at my funeral I'm not attending

Some ppl think I am going crazy..The joke is on them I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay?

Let's Go Brandon, Let"s Go Brandon, Let's Go Brandon!!!!

Im 98% sure you dont like me but Im 100% sure I dont care

hagn my fu fam and friends, show lots of love to my fuwifey she is the best

I always wanted to lay naked on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace....Evidently Cracker Barrel has a policy against this

If you walk behind my truck when the reverse lights are on, thats between you and GOD

hagn everyone and show my fuwifey lots of love she is the best

if you see me talkin to myself just move along...im self employed and we are having a staff meeting

I was told to check my attitude... I did. It's not gone anywhere, what's the problem?

I would make a swear jar but I dont have the kinda income to keep up with my mouth

If I see one more person texting and driving I'm gonna roll my window down and throw my beer at them...

It's time to warm the hot tub up...just sayin

Come on Sinny do yo thing me and Thornz need some money, so work it girl

719 bitches!!!!!!!!