Some days being single sucks more than others. Today is one of those days. Please don't take it personally if I'm quiet. I'm struggling......

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To those I've made incredible friendships with, know that I love each of you. I can no longer be here (if you want to know why, go ask THE OutsyD3R). Smile and laugh when you think about me. I'm not enough. I've never been and I never will be. ✌️

I'm so damn tired of being made to feel less than by someone who says they love you. Pulling my heart out and stomping on it because THEY have had issues with previous relationships. It's no longer worth it.

I tried it once before but I didn't get too far. I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. And all I really wanted was someone to give a little fuck But I waited there forever and nobody even looked up

I'm so used to being rejected. F*ck it still hurts though.

I'm hurting. Why am I never good enough?

With all the stress surrounding my heart failure and upcoming procedures and surgeries, I took me a mini vacation and attended the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) this weekend and was blown away! I've been contemplating trading in my vehicle and now that I've been the passenger in the Jeep Gladiator (the happy Roman as it has always been called here), I know I'm going to be buying mine in black diamond color. Ohhhhhhhh yeah!!

I have a newfound respect for anyone who has had weight loss surgery (WLS). I have less than a handful of months to get my shit together and that means going solely on liquids for a few months. I'm holding onto hope that this was the right choice for me.

Thanks to my fatty liver, I get to start surgery prep several weeks in advance. Who doesn't love protein shakes, protein water (yes, it's a thing!), and broth for a month, especially around the holidays!?!

Thank you, Fubar, for remembering the significance of this day and not using it to turn a profit. Those who have been my friend understand today's significance and why it affects me, so waking up to see the ongoing tradition of no happy hours today.

I haven't been active much the past few weeks. For those unaware, I'm following through with my cardiologist's suggestion and I'll be having weight loss surgery. I've been quiet about it because it tends to illicit Polar opposite responses and quite frankly, I don't need any of them. I'm not doing it to be thin. I'm doing it because my heart is so f*cked that there is no surgical fix for it and I'm not ready to die. If you are supportive, I welcome your feedback; however, if you are not, please leave your thoughts parked inside your tiny mind.

These past few weeks have been a theme park's worth of craziness. So many changes are coming my way and while I'm scared, I'm also equally excited to see what this chapter holds for me.

What happens when my brokenness is no longer beautiful? At the rate I'm going, my puzzle will no longer fit together the way it should with broken and lost pieces.

I have SO much I want to say but finding the words is extremely hard. Please just bear with me and I will explain when I settle down and find the words.

Looks like I'm up for grabs again (wow, that month flew by). I was going to play a little ownership game but right now isn't the right time. Hopefully the next person to own me actually wants me so I'm not just another notch on the belt. That's not how I roll.

I'm sending out a special shout to xx KAM xx for all the love shown to me today. I truly appreciate your generosity in helping with the VIP weekly challenge. So, friends, please go by and show him lots of loving!

"Well, that's the last of the ass beer." You get extra cool points if you know what movie that's from with just that one line.

There are only so many pros/cons list I can make out before even those start feeling overwhelming. This should not be a hard decision and yet it's one that's going to affect everything in my life. F*ck my life sometimes.

I've got what feels like a hundred decisions to make, none of them small, in a short period of time. Please bear with me for a while, and also remember I do not log out, so I always appear as being online even when I'm not. Sending sexy Sunday kisses 💋