I went to sleep like around 1am today, and then woke up about 3am or so. I'm at my best friend's house right now. It's so hard being away from him. It's so hard, that I can hardly stand being alone as it is right now. Why do things have to be all great and then the next minute things go wrong? Why does life have to bring these hurtful times in our life? We don't enjoy it, so why bring it to the surface?
Right now our song just came on Always by Atlantic Starr. Every time I hear this song I instantly think about him. It's so hard to not think about him. It's going to be hard enough as days go by. Stuff just doesn't seem to go as planned. My sleeping pattern is all fucked up, and I can't hardly sleep without him as it is and when I do try to sleep. I only sleep a little at a time because when I'm sleeping I'm always dreaming about him. It's so hard, it's so fucking hard to just go on like nothing ever happened.
To make things even worse on my part, is I keep running the thoughts of how he could/just might meet someone else who is totally better than I am. Someone who could possibly give him more than I ever could. Isn't loving someone, and showing them love enough or is there more to it and I'm missing a point? Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is his figure in my mind. I feel like I've done everything wrong and nothing at all right... This all was a shock, I didn't know anything was going wrong. It all smacked me right on my ass before I even knew it.
Is there some thing I didn't do enough of?
