that nuzzle hussy's blog: "uhmmm... emmaface??"

It is sad how long it takes me to admit to myself things that I am aware of. I try to convince myself that my feelings are wrong. They never are. ... was gonna say more. but I don't want to say anything that can be used against me in the next few days

yay for waking up at 4:15 in the morning with the chest thing. yay for screaming for ten minutes and no one hearing you. yay for finally get the owwie-be-gone (don't know the name of the pill) once its already gotten to the real bad part. yay for the person I wanted to talk to signing off a few minutes before I calmed down and was able to come back. My dad heard me screaming. Thgouht I just wanted water or soemthing. Until I started to cry then he started scareming for my mom too. haha. My mom got me my pill went back down stairs and I layed in my position I always lay in when it happens. On my back. Left leg straight right leg bent up. Started to work. Then stopped and went bad. Started to cry again. Dad yelled "Can't you give her a hug?" so mom came up and sat with me. And I didn't notice till after but my sister came in too to sit with me. Charlie too. But all he did was lick my leg. This is more of a self refferance thing... I'm supost to keep track of them. But yeah, Gonna go back to laying down....

Its what I do when I'm bored. *GUTS* NOW Is your hair up? yes Is your phone right beside you? i'm on the house phone. but my cellphone is missing Do you wish you were somewhere else? yes Do you have plans for tonight? sleep Are you wearing makeup?: no o.O Are you wearing chapstick?: nope Are you cold?: frozen Are you tired? yes. exhusted. Are you excited?: no. Are you wearing pajamas? yes PAST Anything you regret? eh yea Ever stuck gum under a desk? Not that I know of? Ever spit at someone? Yes =] Ever kick something living? People... yes. Animals no Ever had your nails done? yes Ever thrown up because you cried so hard? yeah SPILL YOUR GUTS First thing you did this morning? got a soda. Last thing you ate? empanada What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks? going to visit cris? What's the last movie you saw? anchorman Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? I hope someone is. But I don't know. Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity): Love. Do you wish on stars?: Not anymore Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: Nope. When was the last time you cried? uhm Do you like your handwriting? Yes. Are you a friendly person? I can be. Are you keeping a secret from the world? im sure someone knows it. What color shirt are you wearing? Black. What is the color of your bedsheets?: pink What were you doing at 11 last night? i dont know Last person you talked to? aim? jeremyyyy and stinaaaa. phone? stupid boy When is the last time you saw your dad? 10 minutes ago Are you a normally happy person?: Kinda What color are your eyes? brown Long or Short Hair?: medium...i miss my longer hair

I... am a little bit of a yucky mess right now. I have so much going on. That really... if I listed the things... would seem like nothing. Just bah. I was going to write them in here. But I've descided after typing some of them that if you want to know you'll ask. And if I want you to know I will tell you. Bah. My feet hurt so bad

I... get upset easily. Well known fact. And I really wish I could explain what helps... and how to get me to talk about whats going on. Bah. I hate that I have such a hard time telling people what I think/fell/yadda-yadda I still don't have a ride home from work tomorrow. I realyl don't want to walk. X.X I hope someone comes through with this. I've asked a few people. I'm tired of getting upset over nothing. And then not being able to get it cleared up. I lose.

So... Today... I had to hang out with Melissa's brother so I could see her. And he drives me crazy. I made a scene in the mall because of him. And then again at PetCo. And he took 2 hours to find a pet (another fight right there) he wanted then didn't get it. But thats not worth going in to. Becasue of him I missed the movie I was going to see... twice. I got my first paycheck EVER. 9 dollars and 94 cents. They took a dollar and 6 cents. I got my schedule for next work. Tomorrow I don't have a ride home. Long walk home. Cold cold weather. -sigh- And the day after Thanksgiving I have to go to work at 4:30 a.m. Bah =[

The female survey. 001. What color is your bra? - black 002. Do you ever lie about your age? - Not now 003. Do you prefer "sensitive boys" or "tough guys"? - A little bit of both 004. Do you prefer blonde or brunette guys? - brown hair 005. Are you currently single? - bah. 006. How many things in your past do you regret? - everything happens for a reason 008. Do you have a best friend? - yes. two of them. 009. What do you want to be when you grow up? - something with art. 010. Have you ever kissed two people in one night? - pfsh. Yeah. Not sober though. 011. Where do you shop to buy most of your clothes? - Don't even care. 012. Who was the last person you hugged? - Kristina I think. And that was Sunday. Oh my gosh. I need a hug 013. Have you ever had your heart broken? - Sadly. 014. Have you ever thought about suicide? - Most people do at least once in thier life. 015. Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't have them? - See answer above. 016. Have you ever felt like killing somebody? - Naw. 017. If you could change anything about your past, what would you change? - Last five years could use some serious alterations. 018. Do you like your life? - Eh. It could be worse... but it could stand to be better too. 019. Do you shop at Hollister? - haha. 020. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you? - no... 021. Has one of your friends ever stabbed you in the back? - Of course... part of life. 022. Did you forgive them? - I hold grudges. 023. Who was your first best friend? - Katie. 024. Do you like the opposite sex? - Uhm... yes. 025. How long have you had myspace? - this isn't even going in MySpace. But uhm two years... not at the account I have now though. 026. Have you ever skipped school? - 11th grade... while I was enrolled at MHS I showed up about everyother day. hah. 027. Has anyone ever cheated on you? - yup... 028. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? - no. 029. If so why? - ... 030. What is one of your biggest fears of your life? - for not wanting to go into the important ones... spiders 031. Have you ever skipped class? - yeah.. 032. Has anyone close to you ever passed away? - yeah 033. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? - yeah.. not such a fun thing to do. 034. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? - yeah. thats what happens when I like/miss someone. 035. Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"? -Eh. 036. Are you a player? - no...i'm a good girl O.o 037. What kind of cell phone do you have? -one that needs to be upgraded 038. What is your screen name? - if I want you to have it I will give it to you 039. So far, do you like this survey? - lame 040. Have you ever had a good feeling about something and it turned out you were right? - yeah... same holds true with bad feelings 042. Do you ever wish you were a man? - haha. no. 043. Whats your fav. holiday? - christmas 044. Do you have friends in all grades? - stupid question 045. Have you done anything illegal? - never 046. Do you wish you were shorter/taller? - i'm comfortable with my height 047. Do people ever compliment you? - yeah 048. Do you like being complimented? - when i feel like they mean it. 049. Do you consider yoursellf skinny? - nope 050. What size shoe do you wear? - womens 5 051. Do you drive? - nope 052. Do you have your own car? - yep 053. Do you have braces? - no

Yar. I'm on a bit ofa quote kick... so here are some from well... if you can guess what one you win. Shouldn't be hard... like.. at all. All of them apply in some way shape of form to whats going on with anything with me. So yeah... "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!” `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least - at least I mean what I say - that's the same thing, you know.'” "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here? ''That depends a good deal on where you want to get to'.' Said the Cat. I don't much care where " Said Alice. Then it doesn't matter which way you go, said the Cat.” “What I tell you three times is true.” [I love you. I love you. I love you] “She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)” “One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others” “I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”.../=....“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” “There is no use trying, said Alice; one can't believe impossible things. I dare say you haven't had much practice, said the Queen. When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” “I think I could, if I only knew how to begin. For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.” “When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.” 'O Tiger-lily,' said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind, 'I wish you could talk!' 'We can talk,' said the Tiger-lily: 'when there's anybody worth talking to” "The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today.”

Little things make me happy. ..Like calling or texting me just to say hi and see how I am doing. ... or drawing me a picture .... just taking a little time to check on me. ... Makes me feel special. I like feeling special. I chew on EVERYTHING. ...it is best to have gum with you when you are around me. I don't trust many people. ...if I let you inside my walls you should feel real special. .. but don't think I can't push you right out if I need to. I have a crazy laugh when you get me to really really laugh. ... I don't breathe ...and I always try to talk There are more stains on the carpet in my house from soda coming out of my nose than there is from anything else. I'd rather have one person love me honestly and look good to them than look good to a bunch of people. Vanity haunts me. I love little kid movies. On Thursday I religiously watch Grey's Anatomy and E.R. ... and on Friday I have shows too. I randomly dance no matter where I am ... and I may have alraedy mentioned that. I tihnk this is going to be the last one. ...I never spell 'think' right

Emma Rule #1: Don't make promises if you don't intend to keep them. It's a fucking waste. And it just makes me sad.