The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude. -William Jones
Whenever we're dealing with bad news, a difficult person, or a disappointment of some kind, most of us get into certain habits, ways of reacting to life-particularly adversity-that don't serve us well. We overreact, blow things out of proportion, hold on too tightly, and focus on the negative aspects of life. When we are immobilized by little things-when we are irritated, annoyed, and easily bothered-our (over-) reactions not only make us frustrated but actually get in the way of getting what we want. We lose sight of the bigger picture, focus on the negative, and annoy other people who might otherwise help us. In short, we live our lives as if they were one great big emergency! We often rush around looking busy, trying to solve problems, but in reality, we are often compounding them. Because everything seems like such a big deal, we end up spending our lives dealing with one drama after another.
After awhile, we begin to believe that everything really is a big deal. We fail to recognize that the way we relate to our problems has a lot to do with how quickly and efficiently we solve them. As I hope you will soon discover, when you learn the habit of responding to life with more ease, problems that seemed "insurmountable" will begin so seem more manageable. And even the "biggies," things that are truly stressful, won't throw you off track as much as they once did.
Happily, there is another way to relate to life-a softer, more graceful path that makes life seem easier and the people in it more compatible. This"other way" of living involves replacing old habits of "reaction" with new habits of perspective. These new habits enable us to have richer, more satisfying lives.
There are two rules for living in harmony.
1) Don't sweat the small stuff.
2) It's all small stuff.
When you "don't sweat the small stuff," your life won't be perfect, but you will learn to accept what life has to offer with far less resistance. As we learn in the Zen philosophy, when you learn to "let go" of problems instead of resisting with all your might, your life will begin to flow. You will, as the serenity prayer suggests, "Change the things that can be changed, accept those that can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference." I'm confident that if you give these strategies a try, you will learn the two rules of harmony. 1) Don't sweat the small stuff and 2) It's all small stuff. As you incorporate these ideas into your life you will begin to create a more peaceful and loving you.
I have a lot to talk about, mostly everyday life "shit," if anyone cares to read.
To come later:
• Not sweating the small stuff.
• Making peace with imperfection.
• Gentle, relaxed people and superachievers.
• The snowball effect of thinking.
• Developing compassion.
• Don't interrupt others or finish their sentences.
• Do something nice for someone else-and don't tell anyone.
• Letting others have the glory.
• Letting others be "right" most of the time.
• Becoming more patient.
I'll knock those out first but I'm sure I'll think of more at another time.
