TushyMcJewface's blog: "Tushystuff "

Get Ready for a long one but worth it :) 

"Little Clouds of Happiness are hiding in your fog, 

  Little signs of Love are hiding can still be found in your heart. 

  They say when you hurt you runaway, Hiding in a crowed of strangers. 

  When you're happy you scream, exploding like a million fireworks. 

  Through the flames of hell and deep seas of despair, you're being thrown around. 

  However it's then that you discover that for now things are ok. 

  So fight to find it, 

  The Courage and strength, to Heal without Forgetting 

  Remember what you wanted, everything you tried for and achieved 

  And what everything you touched that burned you. 

  Search for the rainbow in the sky and let it flow through you like a waterfall 

  Keep some moments of peace to yourself and don't stop looking for the good in everyone and everything ". 

(Taken from a song I love and is very relevant to my life right now and what people close to me are experiencing) 

Loving yourself is the hardest thing to do. Yes, I know that may sound very controversial as we often say about a person that they look like they love themselves in reference to cockiness. Cockiness does not equal self-love. It can often be used as a shield for deep insecurities. The most beautiful and wonderful people in the world have bad days where they don't like themselves at all. 

With that said I can only testify for myself. Loving yourself is a hard task and a fight that never ends. Slippery slopes are always there and we are set to fall through them thousands of times. I don't see them as failures as long as you stood up at the end of every slope and started climbing back up again. 

We are the cruelest harshest judge when it comes to ourselves, we like to wallow in self-pity (Anyone who said they didn't at one point is a liar), there is comfort in self-pity and it can be addictive. Sometimes it leads you to hurt yourself in different ways whether they are physical or psychological. It's the only thing that feels real and truth when you keep finding yourself stuck in webs of lies in your close or expanded society. 

The World to me has always been run in parallel lines of Good things and Bad things (you may see it differently and that's ok), the more advanced society and technology gets the more good and bad things alike expand and grow. But in the end you get back to you. 

How do you see YOU ? how do you take care of YOU ? How do you fight to LOVE YOU ? 

I'm still figuring it out day by day. Friends help but sometimes after so many times things haven't gone my way I want to break everything and disappear, I fight through that feeling the best I can every day. I start with getting up every morning...sometimes even that takes a while. But that's the first step to anything. I keep only positive influences in my life and try to stay away from the negative ones (whether it is people or habits). I write down tasks for the day - Even stupid ones like putting my make up on, taking a shower...You have no idea what physical care rituals do well for your inside as well.  Start all over again, Reinvent myself ...May sound like clichés but it's the only thing that works (if you discovered better ways I'm accepting offers lol). 

My Point is - 

FIGHT - because this world needs you in it, YOU need YOU in it. There's no one like you and there never will be. 

LISTEN - to people who love you and through that love learn to look at yourself through different outlooks and realize you're not as bad as you claim yourself to be. 

ACCEPT - learn to accept compliments and attributes because you DESERVE it. 

COLLECT SELF LIKES - mentally note to yourself one thing you liked about YOU today and tomorrow and the next day...and the next day...that's love and that's the way to make it grow one step at a time. 

YOURE NOT PERFECT - that does not exist. HOWEVER , the fact you still exist means something ...whether you believe in god or not the force of nature or something made you able to wake up today , so accept it and go on. 

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP - there will be 10000000000 people in line ready to do that for you if you want. However 1 person can make the most damage and that's YOU. So don't join them. 

LAUGH - even at the darkest craziest things no one laughs at. Laughter is a healthy tip for survival both physical and mental. 

DO A SELF "PICK ME UP" - YOU probably talk to yourself anyway (Most intelligent people do :)) ...SO add some positive stuff to that long never ending monologue will you?  

 SMILE - Yes people smile back , its a proven research that they do even if they think you're weird . Most of all it makes YOU feel better ...even if you force it at first. 

"THOUGHT CREATES REALITY"

That may be cliché but true (sometimes after a 10000000000 trials but when it does it does)...it will get better IT HAS TO BE.

Till then I'll just keep trying

So Dear Bestie  join me ....when you're ready ...I love you, you're amazing and irreplaceable :) 

And to the rest of you....Take some time to love yourself today. 

Till the next time I feel like Yapping. 

Peace out: P 

(I apologize for typos in advance lol )