TushyMcJewface's blog: "Tushystuff "

Get Ready for a long one but worth it :) 

"Little Clouds of Happiness are hiding in your fog, 

  Little signs of Love are hiding can still be found in your heart. 

  They say when you hurt you runaway, Hiding in a crowed of strangers. 

  When you're happy you scream, exploding like a million fireworks. 

  Through the flames of hell and deep seas of despair, you're being thrown around. 

  However it's then that you discover that for now things are ok. 

  So fight to find it, 

  The Courage and strength, to Heal without Forgetting 

  Remember what you wanted, everything you tried for and achieved 

  And what everything you touched that burned you. 

  Search for the rainbow in the sky and let it flow through you like a waterfall 

  Keep some moments of peace to yourself and don't stop looking for the good in everyone and everything ". 

(Taken from a song I love and is very relevant to my life right now and what people close to me are experiencing) 

Loving yourself is the hardest thing to do. Yes, I know that may sound very controversial as we often say about a person that they look like they love themselves in reference to cockiness. Cockiness does not equal self-love. It can often be used as a shield for deep insecurities. The most beautiful and wonderful people in the world have bad days where they don't like themselves at all. 

With that said I can only testify for myself. Loving yourself is a hard task and a fight that never ends. Slippery slopes are always there and we are set to fall through them thousands of times. I don't see them as failures as long as you stood up at the end of every slope and started climbing back up again. 

We are the cruelest harshest judge when it comes to ourselves, we like to wallow in self-pity (Anyone who said they didn't at one point is a liar), there is comfort in self-pity and it can be addictive. Sometimes it leads you to hurt yourself in different ways whether they are physical or psychological. It's the only thing that feels real and truth when you keep finding yourself stuck in webs of lies in your close or expanded society. 

The World to me has always been run in parallel lines of Good things and Bad things (you may see it differently and that's ok), the more advanced society and technology gets the more good and bad things alike expand and grow. But in the end you get back to you. 

How do you see YOU ? how do you take care of YOU ? How do you fight to LOVE YOU ? 

I'm still figuring it out day by day. Friends help but sometimes after so many times things haven't gone my way I want to break everything and disappear, I fight through that feeling the best I can every day. I start with getting up every morning...sometimes even that takes a while. But that's the first step to anything. I keep only positive influences in my life and try to stay away from the negative ones (whether it is people or habits). I write down tasks for the day - Even stupid ones like putting my make up on, taking a shower...You have no idea what physical care rituals do well for your inside as well.  Start all over again, Reinvent myself ...May sound like clichés but it's the only thing that works (if you discovered better ways I'm accepting offers lol). 

My Point is - 

FIGHT - because this world needs you in it, YOU need YOU in it. There's no one like you and there never will be. 

LISTEN - to people who love you and through that love learn to look at yourself through different outlooks and realize you're not as bad as you claim yourself to be. 

ACCEPT - learn to accept compliments and attributes because you DESERVE it. 

COLLECT SELF LIKES - mentally note to yourself one thing you liked about YOU today and tomorrow and the next day...and the next day...that's love and that's the way to make it grow one step at a time. 

YOURE NOT PERFECT - that does not exist. HOWEVER , the fact you still exist means something ...whether you believe in god or not the force of nature or something made you able to wake up today , so accept it and go on. 

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP - there will be 10000000000 people in line ready to do that for you if you want. However 1 person can make the most damage and that's YOU. So don't join them. 

LAUGH - even at the darkest craziest things no one laughs at. Laughter is a healthy tip for survival both physical and mental. 

DO A SELF "PICK ME UP" - YOU probably talk to yourself anyway (Most intelligent people do :)) ...SO add some positive stuff to that long never ending monologue will you?  

 SMILE - Yes people smile back , its a proven research that they do even if they think you're weird . Most of all it makes YOU feel better ...even if you force it at first. 

"THOUGHT CREATES REALITY"

That may be cliché but true (sometimes after a 10000000000 trials but when it does it does)...it will get better IT HAS TO BE.

Till then I'll just keep trying

So Dear Bestie  join me ....when you're ready ...I love you, you're amazing and irreplaceable :) 

And to the rest of you....Take some time to love yourself today. 

Till the next time I feel like Yapping. 

Peace out: P 

(I apologize for typos in advance lol ) 

So Starting my rambles fresh again ....I do that from time to time :)

This subject has repeated itself in my previous blogs over and over again for many reasons and for different people that meant a lot to me and in particular my bestie :). 

This may seem like a list i put together off of random quotes on some facebook group or a google search but no....Its actualy  my personal thoughts and feelings put in some random order. 

1. Real Friendship is not how much you talk or even the quality of your conversations at times ....Its that feeling that you have that you just haveeeeeee to tell that certain person this thing that just happaned to you. wether it be boring , crazy , sad , happy or whatever ...You know that person will listen and you cant wait to hear their reaction. 

2. Real Friendship is not codes . Bros before Hoes or Chicks before Dicks. Its simply being honest and decent and care enough to not step on a person's toes. thats where respect comes from. You don't a list of codes for that or a manual. 

3. Real Friendship is no matter how silly and crazy and senseless you are the other person will laugh and flow with you. They dont have to understand you or identify with you. Not every word has to be OMG I KNOW ...but its cool when it happens :) 

4. Real Friendship is knowing how to filter all the stupid shit around you. If you trust your instincts and guts , if youre happy with who you chose to have as a friend than the world can keep talking and jumping in 8 loops. What you think and feel matters. 

5. Some Friendships aren't forever and it doesnt have to be a bad thing that ended it. Sometimes other circumstances cause it to fade away. Some people are only meant to play a part of your life at one point and thats ok. Few are forever and when you find them don't let go. 

6. Friendship is Faceless, Ageless , colorless and doesn't have to be consisted of similarities and reading eachother's minds. Difference is something that can inrich you , make you learn new things, new point of views you never looked at and future amazing moments to experience. 

7. Friendship is work, don't let anyone fool you. Its a relationship just like any kind there is. If you can't dedicate yourself to someone or feel the same dedication back, don't bother,

8. On that last note, the dedication and love you get back from a friend doesn't have to match the way you show yours. It can be different but not less meaningful and amazing . So don't judge , assume, ignore or over look the little things. You will miss out on a lot of signs that show you that person really cares about you. 

9. Friendship is not equal or not equal. You can't put it in an equation. Just like you can't compare apples and oranges. Friendship is formed for thousand of reasons or none at all and  its not just a simple 1+1. Its a choice you make that hey....i just want that person to be a part of my life. 

10. Friendship means you allow the other person to be themselves , to not always be on your side , to not dislike things or people just cause you do. The same way you still want to be you. 

11. Friendship is being there when things are boring and saying that Hi Whats up ? even when there is nothing new to tell or hear.  Its a  simple declaration that says : Hi Im here and I care . 

12. Friendship is also realising that when you have a wonderful friend it pretty much means you are quite awesome yourself :)

13. ( Cause I had to end it with a Jewish Luck number and a Creepy Horror films number ) Friendship is knowing that when you are in the car and  "Ain't no Mountain High Enough" comes on that wether they like that song or not they will belt it out right with you !!! 

I could go on and on and on..

I used to be a person that thought they knew exactly what a  friend should be, I put standards and rated them almost like dates lol. I lost a lot of good people because of that...I was very harsh and judgemental.

Over the years and growing up i realized ( mainly through my bestie here :)  ) that Friendship steps out of the ideal lines that i drew in my head...I opened myself , my heart , my insecurities, and learned there is beauty that i over looked. 

Some disappointments accured as well . but thats what happens when you give chances. However....It takes one...Just one person to make that effort worth your while. 

I can proudly and whole heartedly say that My bestie was worth all the idiots i stupidly attached myself to...wether it be friendships or more on this site.

If anything this place is worth something JUST for that. Take all the aspect of this place away, lounges , blings, guys etc...

I dont care....cause what I found is priceless :)

So if you have an amazing friend just like I do ....Make sure you remind them sometimes how awesome they are. No need to be over cheesy LOL...but make sure they know. 

Till The next time I feel like writing ....Cya :P 

Tushy