Travis Bradley Bingham,
I never knew what love felt like till the day that I met you. Travis you’ve given me so much and made me feel like the greatest thing in the world. I don’t understand how you put up with me. Yes I can be a bitch or grumpy but you’ve never given up on me, or us for that fact. I never thought that we would make it this far. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t given you nearly as much as you’ve given me, and I completely thank you for that. You’re the greatest fiancé a girl could ask for. I could not have asked for a better person than you. You make my life so complete and I hope you know that. I’ve never been happier in my life. You’re my rock, my shield, and my better half. Thank you for everything you do for me, I can’t wait until we start OUR lives together. We will have the most amazing marriage. I want our marriage to be like my grandma hussing and grandpa hussings. Even though he’s dead, she is still completely faithful and committed to him. They loved each other so deeply and you could see it whenever they we’re around. That’s what I want. I want a happy successful marriage. Yes we may fight, and we may argue, but it takes two people to work through that. I’m willing to work through it if you are. Which I know sometimes are fights hurt but they don’t only hurt you they hurt me too. But every time we fight we do work it out. Even when I’m not willing to just yet, you push and push to get me to. I know that sometimes I get jealous well I’m sorry for that, but coming from my past it’s very easy to get jealous, I honestly don’t try to get jealous it just comes natural baby. Look at everything I’ve been through in my life… rape, molested, and abuse. Sometimes I feel like I put those things on myself then I see how much better my life is now and I realize that maybe I’m fooling myself that I didn’t put those things on myself… I never wanted those things to happen to me, they just did. You would think after every thing went down I would be such a stronger person but I don’t feel like I am. The only thing I feel that I’m strong about is the abuse issue. Ben really hurt me emotionally & physically, I never realized that what he was doing was not love. I thought he hit me because he loved me, well man was I wrong. If I could go back in time that is one thing I would erase in my past. I would erase what you did so that way we could get married, and start our own family. I want our Isabella Marie, and Bradley Michael. I feel that we will have gorgeous kids, and I can’t wait to start our family. I’m honestly sorry about the whole Sam thing and I’m sure if you could you might take back what you did to me. I fought for you and after what felt like 3 years but was actually 3 months I got you. She was a very sketchy character to me. But I tolerated her because I liked you so much. Yes I’ll admit that you hurt me a lot but I still stuck around cause I was so fascinated by you. You turned me on with your wife beaters and Ohio State hat, and yes you still turn me on with those beaters and hats. I love that about you. I love when we’re cuddling or having sex. You completely understand everything that I say and that’s what I want in a partner. I know I get mad sometimes when you let go of me through the night, but I shouldn’t get mad because at least your still laying next to me. I’m going to miss you and that’s not a lie. I’m sorry you get mad when I don’t come see you or I do come see you but not for long, well here’s my reasoning Travis, the more time you want to spend with me the harder it’s going to be on me when you get taken away. I try to limit my time because I want to remember the good times, and the time we spent together. But your time is coming sooner than you know it and it honestly hurts me. When I told you I cried every night just about well the reason why is because I’m realizing that your time with me is coming to an end. So I distance myself so that way it won’t be so hard when you leave me. You always want to spend time well honestly sometimes I don’t want to because I realize it’s just going to kill me when you do leave. I love you so much and I hope you know that. I’m trying to be this amazing fiancée you want me to be, but the only thing that I feel I’m being unfair about is the spending time together but after you read this maybe you’ll understand where I’m coming from. You make me smile when I don’t want to smile, or laugh that’s how amazing you are to me and I bet you don’t even realize that. I have never cared for something so much like I care about you. Our time together will be cherished and I will remember all the times we went camping, or the Drive-In, or BEER PONG!! How about when you stayed with me for that weekend my parents went away, it was so nice it gave me an insight on how our marriage is going to be. Our home life will be amazing and I can already feel it. I am basically writing this just to let you know how much you mean to me and I’m sorry for treating you badly sometimes I never really mean it. Last night was amazing and I thank you for the amazing time you gave me. I’m glad I got to wash your hair it was nice, I miss doing that when we go camping. I basically want you to know that I fucking love you and nothing will ever change that. We’ve both worked hard at our relationship and we’re both going to continue to work hard at our future. I love you papa bear!
Love Grace
