heather's blog: "Trapped"

I come in a bottle I can be an upper, a deppressant even speed. I am here to feel your every need. You can get me from a doctor or even a friend. I am widely distributed from one side of the world to the end. For depression , anxiety, ADD, even pain. You just don't know if you'll stay sane. You might start using me legally for awhile. After Im gone you'll be looking for numbers to dial. Trying to find more cause you truly have a need. Maybe causing you to be sick if you don't proceed. A never ending search taking me and wanting more. Causing you to run around knocking on peoples door. Lying and stealing some get this bad. A horrible depression without me making you sad. I am legal though so its all okay. Thats the way I want you to think each and every day. Lying in bed trembling and sweating just a little side effect I call withdrawling. Some can quit me others will come back crawling. I can be swallowed, chewed or even snorted. But I come from a pharmacy all nice and sorted. I can make you vomit, overdose and lie. I can eat away at your organs until you die. Just experiment with me I come in a variety to choose. I don't care if its your life ,your job or your self respect you lose. Don't I sound tempting just pop that first pill. Hope ya don't get addicted and this is for real. Im taking over many lives each day as we speak. Its okay though Im a legal drug who addicts the weak...

Life is a big mystery to me is it for you. Thinking each day what am I really here to do. The purpose of this world does one truly know. With each day passing so very slow. Is there a reason why were all here. Years of suffering for us to endear. I try not to think about it and just live day by day. Yet every second, every hour someone is tragically taken away. I guess only god knows the reasons why. People we love can suddenly die. I sit and ponder life as a whole. Do we just live to protect our soul. From the evil and corruption taking over us all. Did god put us here to watch us fall. To rise back up and decide we've had enough. If so life is really tough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happiness what exactly is it and does one ever truly find this word spoke of so much. Im not exactly sure is it in someones touch. Does it exist at all or just an invisible feeling we try to create. All I usually feel is hate. Hate for myself for my life and from people I meet. Do we let this hate cause us defeat. Do we go on tryin to attain this happiness when we really don't know what it is at all. Pushing ourselves harder and harder trying to break through this wall. The wall of hate that so many of us have created in our mind. Who knows maybe one day this happiness I might find. Untill then I'll try to control the hate not letting it take over could determine ones fate. So to everyone out there don't quit searching it's not to late.

Do you know what its like to be trapped. Trapped in a world of darkness where no one hears you. You can scream at the top of your lungs and get no response cause theres no one there. It's a scary place a place ive created in my mind. A place I hope you never find. A lonely abstract world of a dark void in my mind. The world around me is left behind. Will someone rescue me no likely im stuck. Lost in this asylum of my own mind what the fuck. Never sleepin loosin my mind. Insomnia takes over night after night. I give up on puttin up a fight. So when will this all end who the hell knows. Im sure the lack of sleep shows.