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OK, not the easiest job in the world, but a necessary one, no? Now, my parents divorced when I was 6. Mom brought us back to Jersey so she'd have family to help support us kids. (my brother was 3) My dad very quickly remarried, & without meeting us, my "stepmom" wanted us little kids to call her "Mom". Fortunately, my Mom said no, we were too young & it would be confusing. However, if, as we got older & developed a relationship with her, we decided to call her mom, that would be ok, but at 3 & 6 it was too confusing for us to call some strange woman "Mom". Needless to say, she never created a relationship with us, & instead interfeared in our relationship with our dad. So, I always said if I were in a position of being a stepmom, I would not do what that bitch did. Now I have never interfeared in my stepchildrens relationship with their dad. As a matter of fact, his son (who does NOT live with us) only comes over every other weekend, & I encourage them to spend time together to bond. I encourage my stepdaughter (who DOES live with us) to keep communication open with her dad & even try to give her pointers on how to say what she needs to if she wants something. (there's a good way & a not-so-good way to talk to my husband about things... over the past 7 years I have it down to a science, but she won't listen. Needless to say she does not always get her way & sometimes ends up in trouble for it) Now, I love both these kids as if they were my own, yet I feel like I am treated like the ugly stepmother in the fairy tales. She is 15, & altho she doesn't get along with her birth mom & gets frequently upset at the drama & fights, she still goes over frequently & worrys about what her mom thinks/feels/says. Yet I am the one who supports her, financially/emotionally/mentally with her dad. I know that she knows she can come to me with any issue & I will help her out, even to the point of talking with her dad first (so he doesn't blow a gasket). I've done everything for her, & will continue to do so. But to her, I'm just Wendy, ya know my dad's wife, or my stepmom. One day it would be nice to hear her call me Mom. I feel like it's a title I have earned, but because when she was 5, her dad & his then girlfriend came to pick her up from visiting her bith mother, & said "Bye Mommy! Hi Mommy!" & her birth mother flipped out. So as not to upset her mother, she is not comfortable calling me Mom. I had said, that's ok. I have friends who do't want to b e called grandmom yet, so they've been discussing other names to use. We did the same, & came up with Cara (Italian for "heart"). That lasted about a day, then it was back to "Wendy". Why does it have to be so hard to be a step parent? Or is it that I just care & love too much? I don't know. I have done more for her these past 7 years than her birth mother has in the past 15... but I'm the bad guy. I just don't get it.
