Colleen's blog: "Thoughts"

A field full of swaying long grass

Memories of yesterday and far gone past

Love gained love lost

Though remaining locked in my heart

A grave stands alone

Bare and cold

Nobody cares

Nobody knows

The bluest of skies

Turning dark through thine eyes

One lone rose remained standing

Now it has died.

Desdemona, (singing)

The poor soul sat sighing by a sycamore tree,

Sing all a green willow.

Her hand on her bosom, her head on her knee,

Sing willow, willow, willow.

The fresh streams ran by her and murmured her moans,

Sing willow, willow, willow;

Her salt tears fell from her, and softened her stones--

Lay by these.

Sing willow, willow, willow.

Prithee hie thee! He'll come anon.

Sing all a green willow must be my garland.

Let nobody blame him, his scorn I approve.

I called my love false love, but what said he then?

Sing willow, willow, willow.

If I court more women, you'll couch with more men.--

So, get thee gone. Good night. Mine eyes do itch; Doth that bode weeoping? (Othello)

After a conversation at work today.. where one co-worker is completely against meeting anyone on line and does not believe that people can fall in love who meet online... and the other who says ya... it could happen and she knows someone it happened too... how many people believe you can meet your signficant other or soul mate online? Do you even believe in soul mates?

So I have been sad the last couple days and been crying off and on all day today. Well, it is after midnight so technically it was yesterday. It seems like when I need a friend the most, or someone in particular, that is when I have no one.

Trust is a major issue of mine and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I say and do stupid things sometimes and it doesn't end up hurting anyone but myself. I just need to let a little off my shoulders since I feel so bottled up I could explode. I always mess up, it is like I don't want to get hurt and so when it gets to a certain point I do say something to make the person turn the other way. It hurts but it is safe right? I guess if they really cared they wouldn't walk right? Ah well.

Something happened today that got me really thinking. I hate it sometimes when that happens. So, the question is... what is love? Is everyone lovable?My dad always said if I couldn't love myself then no man would love me either. How many think this is true? How does a person learn to love themself who doesn't know how TO love themself. Maybe someone could love someone who doesn't love themself and that person would learn they are lovable and would eventually love themself? Isn't it supposed to be about accepting someone for who they are inside and out.. with all their faults and insecurities? Oh well. I could go on but that is enough for now.