This sent to me by a good friend... He is a man with a sense of humor. Hope you like....
Because I'm a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with
a
coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
option. I will win.
Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop
the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able
to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't
know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break
wind,
as a form of holy communion.
Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never
get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items
like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show
looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator instead (applies to engineers only)
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The
true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to
make
up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember
the
name and recommend it to other men.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your behind
look
too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that.
Your hair
is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand
men.