Queen Kristie's blog: "THIS IZ DA BIZNISS"

THE ASSHOLE COULDNT EVEN BREAK UP WITH ME ON THE PHONE, HE HAS TO DO IT ON THE PC! HE IS NOT IN TOWN, EVEN IF HE WAS, HE WOULDNT DO IT IN PERSON, THE LOSER!!! I AM SO SICK OF LOSERS!!! GGGgggrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Marina's Convo with a Loser/Mom's Ex Current mood: amused Okay this is a conversation between me and my moms dead beat EX. Today I will be playing the part of MYSELF but I am labeled as QEEEN KRISTIE. Enjoy! I sure did. WHOOOP!!! Shawn Cross played Himself. ENJOY ALL. This isn't me on a bad day, Im actually really happy. I've been waiting to do this for such a long time. My mom didn't understand why I never liked him and now she does. WHOOOHOOO!!!! NOTE: This guy stutters on the computer... when he's mad.... uhm yeah nuff said. This is Kristie's daughter Marina, I wanna make that clear right now. I got her message before she did cause it was sent on my computer. Im very different from her, cause I'll tell you whats up. I don't give a shit how it makes you feel, it dont make me none! To start your a fuckin JERK! How are you going to put my mom through your shit, then hurt her cause she finds out, about your other woman. You were the one wrong NOT her. My moms never cheated on you, and if she would have, how can you call it cheating. How do you cheat on someone who isn't there? I wish she would have, she had so many chances with so many better men. It pissed me off that she left them alone for you. Someone who aint ever even around exept when you want a lil. On a real note, yo OTHER girl Christie is the one who let me know that you pissed the bed. She told me she wondered why you got up so often at night, she said you said you were just watchin her cause she was so beautiful. Yeah, yo other girl put me up on that shit. Mines spent so many nights crying over your dumb ass. Im tired of it, then you have the nerve to make her sad, when you fucked up. Don't get it twisted Shawn, YOU don't talk to my mom no more. She can do better, I know for damn sure. Its Nothin, plus she won't be cryin over your ass no more. *dont forget this is my daughter/on my name on yahoo, which is, queen kristie* Shawn Cross: thank you all and have a very nice day Queen Kristie: er.... riiiiiiight. Word of advice before I go, if you're going to break up with someone make sure its them and not their computer screen. K Queen Kristie: Later Shawn Cross: good luck Shawn Cross: out there Queen Kristie: Keep it... you need it more than my mom does. Queen Kristie: By the way, I didn't tell my mom what you said,if you wanna break up with her, be a man and do it your damn self. Shawn Cross: this is a win win Shawn Cross: you do big mouth Shawn Cross: have fun Queen Kristie: Im sorry I tell you how it is Shawn Cross: just like you told me off Shawn Cross: if you did not want the job you should stay out of it Queen Kristie: No I want the job, dont get confused. What better advise to follow than your own? Shawn Cross: i have to much to worry about right now for this shit Queen Kristie: boo hoo then be out, big baby Queen Kristie: LMAO Queen Kristie: Just... just go Shawn Cross: good bye Queen Kristie: Later Shawn Cross: bye never again Queen Kristie: that makes no sense, but I am starting to understand retard ...so I get it. Queen Kristie: You have psychological issues to work out.... best of luck, you're going to need it. Shawn Cross: fuck off you said bye Shawn Cross: ass hol;e Queen Kristie: wow really angry are we Queen Kristie: did I hit a nerve? Queen Kristie: Really, uhm, you said bye, I said later Shawn Cross: out off my life and and and and Shawn Cross: you still here Queen Kristie: of course Queen Kristie: Im enjoying this too much to leave Queen Kristie: Your other Christie is the one who contacted my moms in the first place, did you break up with her computer screen too? Queen Kristie: 8 long years!!!! You wasted of my moms life. What a damn shame!! Queen Kristie: okay pinnochio come back when you're a real boy... er man... whatever.

SAND and STONE TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE ". THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?" THE FRIEND REPLIED "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

Rob kissed his wife, crawled into bed and fell asleep. All of a sudden, he woke up to find an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing at the foot of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven." "WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Rob. "I want you to send me back immediately." "It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is yours." Rob thought about it for a while, and figured that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. "I want to return as a hen." And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came another hen. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," she said. "How do you like being a hen?" "Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode." "Oh that!" said the other hen. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg." "How do I do that?" Rob asked. "Cluck twice, and then push all you can." Rob clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground. "Wow" Rob said, "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Rob, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA OH MY GOSH, I LAUGHED SO HARD, I HAD TO PASS THIS ON. LOL HOPE U ENJOYED IT AS MUCH AS I DID.