This is my beer mug.
There are many like it, but this one is MINE.
My beer mug is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My beer mug without me is useless. Without my beer mug, I am useless.
I must drink my beer cold.
I must drink faster than my enemy who is trying to out drink me.
I must finish mine before he finishes his. I will...
My beer mug and myself know that what counts at a party is not the shots we drink,
the noise of our burps, nor the gas we make.
We know it is the drafts that count. We will drink...
My beer mug is human, even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its handle, its rim,
its depths, and its bottom.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of stumbling and rumbling.
I will keep my beer mug clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will...
Before God I swear this creed.
My beer mug and myself are the defenders of my keg party.
We are the masters of our intoxication.
We are the saviors of the bar.
So be it, until there is no beer, but slumber.
