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faiRy loveR's blog: "things i love!"

created on 10/07/2006  |  http://fubar.com/things-i-love/b11213

one day in hell.

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon... Demon: Why so glum chum? Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell. Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks. Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! Guy: Gee that sounds great. Demon: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking. Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember? Guy: Wow...that's...awesome! Demon: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling. Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow. Demon: You into drugs? Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean... Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!! Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!! Demon: You gay? Guy: Uh no. Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

some tea.....

3 vampires walk into a bar...the first one orders a glass of blood and the bar tender said "coming right up." Then the 2nd vampire orders a glass of blood...the bar tender replies the same as before...then the 3rd vampire goes up to the bar and orders a glass of water. The bartender asks "don't you want a glass of blood?" the vampire looked at him and then pulled out a used tampon and said "nope...tea time."

whats oral sex?

A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time....and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year....maybe on your anniversary. The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?" His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," grandpa said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. And she yells, "Fuck You", and I holler back, "Fuck you too."

LOL!!!!

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
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