Its been a little over a month since my dad passed away, and I have had so much happen in my life. It wasn't enough that my dad was sick, and dying, but my husband also had to throw into the mix that he wasn't happy and wanted to just go our seperatate ways. So, that is where I am in my life. I am on the road to finding peace and happiness.
The timing was by far good on my husbands part to be telling me all this, but deep down, I think I am ok with it. They say everything happens for a reason, and I honestly believe that to be true.
I have only recently with in the past couple days gotten back home from being gone for a week. I took my oldest 2 kids to their grandparents in Michigan, and then I ended up driving to Baltimore, MD. That was a really hard trip to take. The first time I was there, was when I drove my daddy to Johns Hopkins to have surgery to remove a tumor from his pancreatic duct. The first 3 days I was there, I was ok. I stayed in a different hotel, than the one I was in before. But then, I got in touch with a family friend who worked at the Best Western and he ended up getting me a really really good deal so I was able to stay for 4 more days. It was there that all my emotions started to pour out. It was there that all the memories of my first trip to that amazing city started pouring out of me.
My friend, Tony, got close to our family. He was a courtesy driver for the hotel that transported the hospital patients back and forth to the hotel. He knew more than anything how close our family was, and how much I loved my dad. I think he could see the pain in my eyes when I stepped into the hotel for the first time since he passed. But he made me a promise, he promised me that he was not going to let me sit in my room and cry the whole time i was there. That he was going to make sure that I had a good time this time in the City of Baltimore. My mom even talked to him on the phone and made him PROMISE he would take care of me and look after me. And he did. I ended up driving with him while he was at work, and we just talked. We talked about my dad, my family. He told me about the last time my dad was there, and the stories they shared. I slowly started to feel better, just talking to a friendly face and sharing stories about my dad. The talks continued over Ice cream, and even with the other passengers riding back and forth with us the entire night. I had a really good time. At the end of the night, Tony walked me to my room and made sure that I was in ok, and told me that tomorrow was going to be even better, and with that he turned and left.
The next day, Tony came early. We hung out, as I showed him pictures and videos of my dad. Then we headed out and we went to eat at Austin's Grill. that place was SOOOOOO good! Then we went back to work, and during the down times, he drove me around Baltimore showing me all parts of the city. I seen some really amazing things that I will never forget. My favorite of all places though, is the harbor. That night, Tony tells me he has made arrangements to go see West Side Story in the dinner theater. I was REALLY EXCITED!! I love musicals, and FOod! LMAO So it was perfect. I had never been to a real live theater performance, but I really loved it. He has promised me that in the fall I have to come back and he will take me to see Phantom of the Opera!
Tony did make me a promise, and that was that by the time I left Baltimore, I would be happy. I would be peaceful, and I would feel special. It was starting to work! LOL
The day I left, I kinda stayed not really wanting to leave. So we went to the harbor and we went to Rita's and got us a Strawberry Lemonade Icy and we just sat near the boats and talked. Tony told me that when I got home to not stop smiling, and to never change who I was for anyone. Because I was beautiful the way I was. Funny thing is, I believe him. I learned a lot in Baltimore about myself. I learned to love me again. I learned that sometimes it takes opening your heart and mind to something different than your normal to actualy find peace and happiness. I also learned that in order to love anyone else, I have to love me first. And that is something I haven't done in a really long time.
Thank you Tony for helping to find me again!
Now everyone meet Tony!!! He has been there for me through everything, my dad, my husband, just life lately... he is my best friend.
