Value of a Drink-from a friend
>> "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
>> I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
>> about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
>> and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
>> of work and their dreams would be shattered.
>> Then I say t o myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
>> their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
>> ~ Jack Handy
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
>> hell happened to your bra and panties.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
>> wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
>> going to feel all day. "
>> ~Frank Sinatra
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
> tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
>> ~ Henny Youngman
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
> laughing WITH you.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
>> ~ Stephen Wright
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
>> sing.
>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
>> we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
>> When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
>> get drunk and go to heaven!"
>> ~ Brian O'Rourke
>>
>> WARNING: The consum ption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
>> ~ Benjamin Franklin
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
> retard.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "Without question, the greatest invention in the
>> history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
>> wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
>> not go nearly as well with pizza."
>> ~ Dave Barry
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
> over and over again that you love them.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
> can!
>> ~ Dave Howell
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
> converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.
>> One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory
>> to his buddy Norm.
>> Here's how it went:
>>
>> "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
>> as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
> slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
> selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
> health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
> weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
> as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know,
> kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
> cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
> weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's
> why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
>> whispering when you are not
