I hope that December was good- I dont think I have bene in since then as I have not had well- fuck all communications in here so I dont bother with it really and then I would not throw any money around on cyber anything when it is not a service really- all the things one can do in here, one can do elsewhere also but for free or less- dont get me wrong- cybergifts are nice but not when every little thing costs money and REAL money-lol.A virtual bar drinking virtual booze-shit I feel pissed-lmfao. That was mighty fine Scotch there! Was it hmm, Ballantines or maybe Bourbon like Wild Turkey (I do like that stuff- it makes the hair on ones chest grow!!lol MInd you I am not an apr but nor an I some smooth hairless man- I thought men are supposed to have hair on their chests- one of the differences in the sexes and well- its nice to have someone play with them curing them and what have you when say one is in bed or lying down- not that I hardly rcall as it seems that long ago - and over 2 years is- I havent even had a bloody date for 4 months!!! MInd you I havent been looking as I could get one I am reasonably sure but no point doing that when one has to try and narrow down people to ones that firstly think one looks good to their eye- secondly that they have some similar interests I think (it cant hurt lets say)even one or two is better than nothing in common (like most of my exes-lol) but anyways- I dont want to bore anyone with my personal tribulations of being single at 39 and not liking it but not willing to rush and or settle for someone who wont be and would nto be willing to be in for the long haul! Too many people give up and or walk off and or dont even try and if it meant fuck all to start with, then one would think that some effort would be expended trying to resolve things bt in my cases that didnt happen so makes me wonder how dumb I was - being fooled as I was and time didnt change things as really time should make things better and stronger but it is about time to start with and attitudes and effort and committment.
Anyways what else have I been doing? Hmm just going day to day- it is not the way I would like to be doing things but it could be a lot worse-waaaaayyyy worse in many ways.I mean some people get hit by a bus an hour after they walk out the door. I know of one poor woman who had a sore back- and cough and didnt get better but worse over 2 days- went to dr, collapsed and got rushed to hospital AND then found out she had cancer that was TERMINAL and has riddled her and she was dead 2 weeks later- never went home. One min she was doing her thang and next- in hospital dying. She was 42!!!!Hardcore shit but thats it with life- one dont know when the die will roll and so I would like to not waste any more days but have to until and if I find someone. Fuck at 40 thi syear and if i got to 80- I am half way on the down hill now and time is moving- like a womans bilogical clock when she hits 40 and realises that she hasnt got kids- lol- well not really and thats not nice for the woman in that boat but u want kids- gotta be had by 35 or gets harder and riskier of course- not too mention hell - it isnt fair on a kid having a geriatric parent-lmfao!
Anyways it is dry and fuck I want some ganja.lol. Was a good opium season though!:)
As it says in the Book of the Law- Every man and every woman is a star- Chap 1 verse 3
Laters
me
