The next time someone asks you a dumb question
> wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....]
>
> Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
> for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about
> to
> check out. ?A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did sh e think I had, an elephant? So since I'm
> retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her
> that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting
> the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
> because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but
> that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
> intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of
> my orifices and IV's in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
> that the way that it works is to load your pants
> pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
> every time you feel hungry and that the food is
> nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
> again.
> (I have to mention here that practically everyone in
> the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care
> because the dog food po isoned me. I told her no; I
> stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and
> a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
> heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
>
> WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
