Keyser Soze's blog: "The Lighter Side of Whiskey"

So in trying to prepared for my working and the next few jumps in location over the next 5 months I decided that it would make sense to sign up with an online bank since I will not be in any area for an extend period until I get to my final stop.(Woohoo Tolkien run on sentence) I was informed by one of the banks that they can not verify that I exist. I then did a little research. It seems that since I have been off the grid for about seven years that I no longer exist LOL. So for all of those people that used to bitch about how hard it was to find me.....well it just got harder. Of course that also means any unpaid fines from traffic tickets,parking tickets,bills,credit cards and so on are now gone. Of course when I finally file taxes next year I am going to get audited since I have been off the grid for so long but oh well what can you do.

I have most of my life been the type of person that tends to be pretty free with my money. If a friend is in trouble I am one of the first to step up to the line and whip out the cash. I never expect to get paid back. BUT........ I expect the person to reciprocate. If a times come and the roles are reversed that it is not an issue for them to do what I did for them. The last three weeks (two of which I took off) I have not been working I was just worn out from all the hours I had put in before and the move. I just wanted to take some time to settle in and all that. So I put about 100 bucks worth of staples in the house and my roommate was getting smokes and cream and milk and so on. Now I was suppose to get a check on Friday and that would cover my half of the rent due to some issues I did not get the check until Today. I told her if anything bounced I would cover it. But could she not call the bank this morning and let them know. But she could not do that for some reason...not sure if anything has bounced or not. But all that aside last night she laid into me about not working and so on. I told her that money was coming in and I am sorry but I do not work a 9-5 job I am a contractor I get paid in lumps. She then proceeded to tally up the amount of money she put out on smokes and other stuff. When I reminded her that over the last 2 months I shelled out around $1000 dollars to cover her when she was short on rent one month, her half of the security deposit, rented a moving truck for her and covered a small fee that she owed for having her taxes done. She got upset and told me I said not to worry about it. Which in essence I did. My words were "Dont worry about paying me back. Once we are in the house I am sure I will be broke at some point and it will balance out." So here we are...I am pissed and have lost the trust that I give pretty much anyone in my life.

I am so excited. Now closing in on seven days until move in. If some of you remember I wrote a blog awhile back about having not had a true home in years. Last night while I was at my new house doing some work on it I realized that for the first time I am moving into a place not as a roomate with the intention of leaving in six months. But that I am going to stay here and it is all mine. Interesting feeling. But I guess I should be careful or next thing you know I will be buying a house LOL. Anyway off to help my roomate pack up her apartment LOL (She is a World of Warcraft junkie so unless I go and stand behind her with a whip she will never get it done.) Cheers all.

I am sorry that I have not been such a Fubar junkie the last week or so but I am currently working 3 different contracts as well as trying to get the house I am moving into finished. Soooo I am just a little tiny bit busy LOL. This will all settle down after the 31st of October. So be patience and keep the faith I will return soon. Love ya all.

I have been asked quite a few times what is my type and I keep trying to explain that I dont have one LOL. So to prove my point I am going to start a folder that contains the many faces of my exs LOL.

I have no idea where I heard that. "I want to be still." I think perhaps I was half asleep and the T.V. was on in the back round and I heard it. But that simple phrase speaks to me. I wonder if that is what true love feels like. I have loved and love many in my life but I am starting to think that I have never been able to get to the level that some of you out there have. Those of you that are married or have a boy/girlfriend that you just look at day after day and think to yourself how lucky you are to have them in your life. One of you pointed out that my plan to move in with the girl was a recipe for disaster. I think perhaps that it may be a chance for me to finally once and for all "to be still". I intend to continue my life as I normally do and be her friend. Maybe in time things will progress and change between us. I have no intention of pushing or pressing the issue. I ask each of you that read this to sit for a moment and think what that phrase means to you... "I want to be still."

So I dated this woman about 8 months ago. (Shortly before the horrible ex-roomate/girlfriend thang). She was intelligent, attractive, had quite a few interests in common with me. I loved spending time with her. The problem was two fold. 1. She and I had a hard time scheduling time with each other due to my job and her job. Add into that she was not allowed to come over to my place because my roomate was her boss (and I later found out that the roomate had a thing for me and was jealous). 2. Until she had dated me she had not dated anyone else for seven years. He reasons for this were because she did not want her son to be come attached to a man who may or may not be around for a long time. So she stayed single. This was a hell of a lot of pressure for me. I was afraid that I would hurt her and possible her son if I did not or was not able to stick around. So I broke things off with her and we have become pretty good friends. Still have trouble getting together but we talk every day or every other day. Now we are in the process of getting a house together and living together as roomates for a time. I am starting to get the impression that she still has feelings for me beyond friendship. The more I think about and analyze our conversations and how she behaves around me the more I see this trend. She keeps telling me how excited she is about moving into this house with me and so on. I started thinking today about her as being more then a roomate and a friend. And to be honest I think that we would make a great match. BUT............. I have been down this road before. Started dating a roomate and it was a complete disaster every single time. (Yes it happens alot and I know I should have learned my lesson by now.) I am torn....I have some very strong feelings about this woman but I am still so paranoid that I will end up hurting her and she will not date for another seven years LOL. However the three of us went out to dinner last week. I had such a great time with her and her son and it actually felt like we were family. And to be quite honest that is a new feeling for me. I have dated women with kids before but I always felt like an outsider with the kids. With her son I feel like he accepts me as more then just some guy. (He is also really excited about the move he asks his mom every day..."Are we moving today!") S000000 my loyal readers...what is a reformed man whore to do? Opinions and Advice would be fantastic because I am at a loss.

Just a few clips from one of my favorite actors.