Ox Lilo xO's blog: "The Inner Thoughts 0f Little O"

Written at the age of 13 despite having written this about 6 years ago, it still ranks in the top 10 of my favorite writings (though it could use some editing) loyalty, trust, honesty, love
it all goes hand in hand
to be with the very man who put on your wedding band
the one who walked with you in the sand
the one you fled to whenever you ran
ran away from everything else to manage to find some respect for yourself
he was the only who knew just how you felt
in fact, he still does
cause not a minute goes by that your not on his mind
not even a second, though you're too scared to accept it
because the pieces just cant be collected
you're afraid of rejection
you've never been one for stressing
but now you're obsessing
over everything that could fuck up
you wont even shut up
stop the whining and bitching, shit, just fucking listen
he loves you, he's not into them games
what ever happened to the good old days when everyone got their way
when you were sure he would stay
not afraid of the pain, damn, you were the only one who played games
fabricating the truth just so you could have reign
but now you're in love so you're feeling ashamed
you feel as if you've already lost, but loyally, he's loved you despite of the cost
your mind's going crazy
your head's in a mess
but thats just what happens when you toy with the best
and now you want to confess
you're entirely stressed
without him you're stuck in a wreck
you have nothing left..
you know you've fucked up so you want to start fresh
promise to love him until your last breath
your death
the very theft of your life..
the day that the knife will pierce through your skin
just to reveal your feelings within
you can't help but admit that if you were him you'd be sick of your shit
but although he don't like it
he loves you despite it
he's truly the best
girl you've been blessed
his love he'll attest to at your request to
not caring if anyone else is impressed too
what otha man do you know that would sacrafice even his throne
just so you had a kingdom to own and some free space to roam
why is it that you always contend with everything that is said
is it necessary to analyze the future ahead?
you've fucked up in the past but he aint leave you yet
not even a threat
it aint like he'll ever forget
so keep your head high, erase your mistakes
make sure that your heart's never again up for takes
show him the world, giving all that you've got
don't back down every time things get hot..
and if he has something to say don't immediately doubt him
cause if you keep it up you're sure to be left without him ©LittleO™

Written Monday, September 10, 2007 Missing loved ones that seem so far from me and why? A continuous cycle made by random wheels of reason. It hurts. The tears stream down my face like acid rain, pooling beneath my chin and crashing upon my chest. The ache of my heart continues to shatter my soul day by day. I wonder what must change in order to become whole again. I recall similar sensation in times of tragedy but today's case is seemingly un-provoked; merely another dreadful day in the life of someone virtually lifeless. The calming comes as my words highlight an inevitable path toward hell. Turmoil has become home; as sacred and comforting a place as I will ever find. /self-pity ©LittleO™

Written Sunday, January 27, 2008 As a child I never sought preference in unrealistic 'realities;' dramatizations of witches and warlocks, pixies and fairies. The bright side of things was even too far off a place to imagine. These days, growing older, I seek to find time available for spending in situations deemed never to be true. False hope expands here and therefore warms me on the coldest of days. If only for a minute, the pain relocates to the back of my mind and happiness is found through my reflection on the dimly lit glass in which I look every night, merely wishing for change. It occurred to me after a conversation I had had with an old friend. A friend so close I never knew my slight of hand could blind. She mentioned to me that my level of confidence remained unaffected despite my hardships. It was then I had come to realize I've been pretending all along. ©LittleO™