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Thank You - A True Friend

.¤Dedicated¤.
Thank You For Everything You Have Done For Me

Too Little Too Late

Written Sunday, February 15, 2009 Too little too late was just a phrase until the man of my dreams faded away Now that he’s gone I feel somewhat betrayed though I am at fault, I hoped he would stay Too little too late is the only thing to describe how I feel as I lie in my bedroom tonight To feel what it’s like to lose the love of your life is to question your will, the will to survive Too little too late is all I can say because these 4 walls around me are almost decayed Much like my heart which has already lost pace as I walk around blindly, my footsteps retraced ©LittleO™

Scars

Written Sunday, February 15, 2009 Scars. Permanent markings that carry more meaning to me than any other infliction of pain has ever caused. Not only physical wounds but mental gashes that could leave a person devastated. Traumatic events that only I have experienced in this particular sequence. To understand my pain would be to see my scars, feel them, as only few people can. The mental anguish that accompanies my deepest fears could slaughter thousands. ©LittleO™
Written Sunday, February 15, 2009 My newly formed intentions are to in some way become accustomed to my suffering, tolerating both the good as well as the bad and to balance out not only my temper but my self control. I am going to do my very best to avoid being a slave to my emotions as I have been as of late. I am neither asking for your help nor that of anyone else but I do ask that you watch the change take place. Open your eyes and make sure to see the beauty in this transformation, because it could quite possibly be the closest I will ever come to creating a miracle. And maybe, just maybe it will have a positive impact on your life as well. ©LittleO™

What if...

Written Sunday, February 15, 2009 Contemplating. Wondering what would have been if given the chance to avoid the harsh realities of existence. Projecting illusion into the nights sky with the purpose of changing the stars set out for me. Will I betray my destiny in veering off my rightful path and into the sunset with a man whom I can not justly call my own? It is the uncertainty in life that strives us to push beyond the boundaries we have become accustomed to. Is it not true that man cannot gain that in which he does not risk? A life of content may vanish just as easily as one compiled of dark days, clouded skys and living nightmares. I refuse to live each moment wondering “what if…” ©LittleO™

Some People

Written Wednesday, January 07, 2009 It's sad when you meet some people that honestly don't know their worth. People so great and amazing to be around that you are constantly smiling and just enjoying the "now." The people that you miss the second they are gone because without them you just don't feel whole. These people are most genuine not just in relationships but in the friendships and mutual bonds they form between others. A friendship with this type of person is above all, sacred. Though they extend their heart to few, you are among the ones they trust. This is important. I will treasure you forever. *you know who you are* ©LittleO™

Trials & Tribulations

Something I came across Sunday, October 07, 2007 A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the Heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

More About Me

Written Wednesday, January 7, 2009 I love cuddling and sunsets and sitting outside at night or when it's cold out. I prefer hugging to kissing. I love going for walks whenever with whomever. I enjoy good conversation. I hate being vulnerable and I can't stand my awareness of the broken heart that is struggling to beat within my chest. I love the feeling I get when despite my circumstances, I am able to keep my head held up high. I love the people who are successful with encouraging me to do so. Making people smile makes me smile. Making people cry kills a little piece inside me that I'm afraid I will never get back. I don't like hospitals and I like being sick all of the time even less. I have more issues than I know what to do with and still that doesn't seem to push people away. I don't understand it. I also don't understand why I always feel a need to push them away on my own. I've actually gotten much better at this particular flaw. I am excited to say that every step I have recently taken towards a better life has been one that I am proud of. I truly feel blessed for those I have been able to share my ups and downs with. I love you guys!!! ©LittleO™

Hypothetically....

Dedicated and written Monday, January 5, 2009 Knowing he's taken transcends anticipation. The lust is morphed into boiling guilt. To stay away would be wise but to come near would be sweet. A tug-of-war between heart and mind; consequences only realized when they've been brought to light. Whirlwind of emotions. Growing cold yet steaming hot. Longing for the touch that will put the fire out. Expectations. Dreams drawn from reality. The situation we face is that in which we run away from. Together, him and her but he and I would be angelic. As I deflect the blame from me to him, the pain it strengthens. In an attempt to justify and at the same time ease my mind I embrace the thought that one day we will be. If only for a moment we will share time that is valued by both him as well as I. Though I have no doubt of its occurrence it is the time in which the situation will be pursued that puzzles me. Like clockwork, the shame takes its toll. The disgrace unfolds from even those incapable of handling the truth. To toy with "fact" as if it were pliable. To question my own presence under these conditions is still clearly dishonorable. An awareness of ones own actions means nothing if failed when put to the test. An unused conscience is good to no one. ©LittleO™

l3r0k3n He4rTecl

Written Monday, November 20, 2006 I want to scream to the high heavens but still I make no sound. The pain feels like it's deeper every time no one's around. This sight is so unclear, my fortress begins to shift. How was I to know that it all would go to shit? Void of all regrets, mistakes meant to be made. I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm sorry that I stayed. Betrayal lies and deceit, the list is never ending. But what I will remember most is the love you tried to lend me. I never was quite good enough; too rough around the edges. My love was never pure enough; 'twas tainted to perfection. ©LittleO™
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