I'm not even close to someone who can claim to be perfect. Far from it. However, when I see someone who has completely thrown away their lives and continues their destructive behavior, I start to wonder at their sanity. My mom's husband (not my father; long story) has lung cancer of the worst kind. I know, I know, it's not like there's a good kind, but this is the stuff that kills you really quick. For the past 45 years, this guy's been smoking, and when told he has to quit smoking and drinking, he finishes off the pack before he starts to quit. What the living hell is wrong with that picture? If I'm told that I need to stop doing something that is killing me, I'm going to stop it. I'm not going to just say "I'll quit as soon as I'm finished with what I've opened." That's almost like "Gee, I already ran the chainsaw halfway through my arm! Let me run it through the rest of the way since it's there."
I used to smoke, and I'll probably pay for that later on in life, but I've been smoke-free for well over 16 months, and I've been losing weight for the last three months, so I feel alot better about my chances at beating cancer or anything else that might come my way. I won't put my girlfriend/wife through what he's putting my mom through. She's predictably flipping the fuck out, so I have to deal with this. I'm really not looking forward to the coming months. He is going to die, and my ma is going to probably lose her mind over it. I hope things work out, but I saw the initial report. He's either going to stroke out or the cancer's going to eat him up. There's not much else to do other than wait, hope he makes it through with surgery, or just make his last time as easy as possible.
It's times like this that I just really wish I hadn't quit drinking.
